November 12, 2004
Cheesecake Factory Officially 'Food Porn'
We at DCist are happy the low-carb craze seems to be fading, however slowly. We just love our carb-filled lifestyle too much to give it up, although we credit the scientifically dubious movement with coining the term "carbolicious" and some funny t-shirts.
Even suburban D.C. institution The Cheesecake Factory got into the act, and since July has offered a 6 Carb Original Cheesecake
The "upscale casual full service" restaurant's low-carb cheesecake is baked with no sugar - they use the sugar substitute Splenda instead - but includes all of the fat. This didn't make the nutrition fiends at the D.C.-based Center for Science in the Public Interest very happy, they selected the low-carb cheesecake for the monthly "food porn" (PDF) feature in their member newsletter. (The back page highlights one good product and one bad each month.)
In their scathing description of the food, they point out each slice of the cheesecake has 610 calories and 29 grams of saturated fat (the same as six tablespoons of lard), describing it as a "8 ox. untrimmed prime rib for dessert." Mmmm mmmm good!
See DCist on the other D.C. culinary excess, the Jumbo Slice.
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Food Porn!! Perfect description. The Cheesecake Factory is definitely the Moonlight Bunny Ranch of cuisine. And...thinking about the sort of people you see trailing in and out of the glitzy Vegas brothels, the description is apt when compared to CC Factory patrons! Anonymous food fucking! A culinary masque of the Red Death! A Kama Sutra grotesquerie of artery-clogging shame!
Also, Clarendon's Cheesecake Mosque is still the most garish and unsightly piece of architecture in the Metropolitan area. It's like, as wife of Deceiver says, "Frank Bialek of Trading Spaces whipped up nouveau-Taj Majal on a budget of $200 worth of food stamps." Lucky for the Cheesecake Mosque that Gehry's Corcoran atrocity is on the way!
Is Cheesecake Factory a chain? I live in Brooklyn, so I'm retarded when it comes to overpriced chain eateries. Is it like TGI Fridays, but more cheesecake?
If it is, better tells the folk at Times Square, because they are trying to become Center of the World for chain stores/restaurants/multiplex theaters/crap.