This DCist really, really wanted to hate "The Washingtonienne". The Victoria's Secret cover, the awfulness of the extremely loose typesetting, the sub-par press release, the ridiculously overpriced hardcover for a book that's supposedly a beach read: all were good reasons to bring the hate. But you know what? We finished the book in a day. And enjoyed it. It's not literature, and it only just barely qualifies for that awful Publisher's Weekly category that is "chick-lit." However, taken as the cheap, tawdry read that the book is meant to be, Cutler's (or her ghost writer's) writing isn't half bad. We'd go as far as saying its better than "Angels and Demons" -- but that's not hard.

Warning: spoilers after the jump.

Here's the deal: Jacqueline Turner's fiancé breaks up with her after she cheats on him with an old flame. She'd been living with him for some time, jobless, when all of a sudden she finds herself on the street, homeless. Possessions packed hastily, she moves to the District on a whim. Here's where the real life story and the barely fictionalized novel come together. Turner works as an intern for a senator running for president, then moves on to a low-paying job as a Staff Ass to a congressman. She walks the marble hallways of Congress in Manolos and Marc Jacobs, and when she isn't dealing with annoying constituents or stuffing envelops, she's drinking and drugging all over D.C. And no matter where she is, the city is not as good as New York, with the major exception that here the men love Jacqueline, with some willing to pay top dollar for her... err... companionship. Turner never questions these "transactions." Instead, she considers them fair exchanges and uses them to score a one bedroom English basement on the Hill and finance her drinking.

Replace Jacqueline with Jessica and, of course, the story becomes familiar. What is new is the psychological background the novel provides. As far as depth goes, it's hardly "Madame Bovary," but it'll do. Turner's parents are largely absent from the story, barely aware that their daughter has moved to D.C. as they deal with their own divorce. The original blog also makes no note of Ms. Cutler's cocaine habit, making the reader wonder if that bit was added to the novel to make it all the more juicy, or if it's indeed based on real life. And though we're not sure about Jessica in real life, her fictional counterpart does come to the realization that she's really in search of male affirmation and has a serious substance abuse problem -- and seeks help in the form of counseling.

Where "The Washingtonienne" really hurts this reader is in its one-dimensional depiction of the District. This isn't surprising. Ms. Cutler never made it a point to blog about architecture, museums or even politics. There's some lip service given to these in the novel ("The buildings are pretty," "I can't believe I'm meeting with pro-lifers," etc.) but if someone wants a real roman a clef about D.C., wait for Wonkette's entrée into the literary marketplace later this year. We were also a bit perplexed by the one-dimensional view of D.C. nightlife presented in the novel. Surely scoring cocaine in D.C. isn't so difficult that it requires a threesome with your best friend and a bike messenger. And weren't there a number of other velvet-ropey hotspots popping up in May of 2004? We're still surprised Saki was Cutler/Turner's primary place to party -- were Cutler's story moved a year forward, she'd probably be partying at Chloe.

The ending of "The Washingtonienne" really baffles. Turner, in a move that vaguely resembles "sadness," realizes that she's in love with Marcus (in real life, the newly-visible Robert Steinbuch). She almost simultaneously decides to move to New York, perhaps to clean up her life. This is where real life and the world of fiction disagree. Turner shows remorse and seeks help for her myriad issues. She turns down Playboy, gets counseling, and moves to Gotham. Meanwhile, according to the jacket copy Cutler remains unemployed and lives in D.C., and ultimately decided that posing for Playboy was the right decision. Did the real-life Cutler seek counseling? Has she changed her ways? We also wondered about RS, Marcus' inspiration and the staffer in Dewine's office whose relationship with Cutler some may call "romantic." In a bit of nicely timed publicity, our curiousity on that last question was answered last week. The other questions will probably be dealt with during the inevitable book tour, but as of now remain unanswered.

In the interests of serving our readership, we'd love an interview with Washingtonienne. If Cutler (or her publicist) decides to go the DCist route over Wonkette, we'll be tickled pink. Dear Ms. Cutler: read DCist? Care to talk to us? We may be blog nerds, but in our dark lizard hearts, we kind of heart you. Drinks?

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