November 15, 2005
In Search of Bovinity
Episode II: Bovinity Begins
Tired of being disappointed when our burger cravings were highest, DCist set out to find the best burgers in the area. Harnessing the immense powers of the interwebs, we knew we could find true Bovinity. DCist asked, and our readers responded, and responded, and responded (<---woah). In less than a day we received more than 80 comments detailing 30+ establishments in the District, Virginia and Maryland.
Five Guys, Clyde's, Fuddruckers and many other Washington Post Readers Choice favorites received multiple votes, and why should we expect our results to differ. Even though we tried to bind our experiment with steadfast requirements, votes for all sorts of burgers poured in. So far we still had what amounted to nothing more than a popularity contest. We were no better than a prom committee looking for a king and queen.
One commenter stated that Five Guys made a great hungover or drunk burger, and all we could think about was thousands of night lifers in the city slathering themselves with alcohol until potential mates 'seem' attractive. We don’t want to have to get drunk to enjoy a burger after work. That’s not divine it's blasphemy, and it reminds us of the hordes of patrons waiting outside on the streets of Adams Morgan for a ‘great’ slice of pizza. We want a burger that tastes good when we’ve had one beer, not 18. That said, drunken munchies do have their place and with so many mentions it would be sacrilege to ignore the local favorite. When another commenter threatened to punch us in the balls,we knew we had to give Five Guys another chance, even if their mechanics have been compared to that of Willy Wonka.
But fast food turnstiles weren’t the only burger joints to get mentions. Chef Geoffs, Colorado Kitchen and Palena also got nods. With such a diverse pool of potential, DCist could only think of one solution. We had to eat them all. So, starting this past weekend, that’s what we’ve set out to do. Hitting the streets with scorecards in our hands and Lipitor bottles in our shirt pockets, we started and epic journey to search for true Bovinity, or a heart attack while trying. During the next few weeks we will check in and let you know how we’re doing, show you a few of our discoveries, and update you on the status of our impending enlightenment. We’ll even fire up our own grill to show you our incarnation of the perfect cheeseburger and solicit your comments all along the way.
All this work and we only ask one thing: If you don’t hear from us, please alert our doctor. With so many burgers in so few days -- and the cost of cholesterol lowering drugs these days -- well we’re downright scared.
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I haven't had red meat for years, but I have noticed that the "sliders" trend is no longer a trend and is now firmly entrenched in area menus. Will mini-burgers be on the menu for the burger tasters? If so, my friends recommend Tallula in Arlington.
For the sake of my health, i've ommited mini burgers, veggie burgers, lamb burgers, and anything but the regular sized beef burger. For what its worth i've had the talula mini, and its great!
I didn't see your original call for entries. If it isn't too late for your heart/colon, swing by Ventnor Sports Cafe in Adams Morgan for one of their burgers. Very good. Also, Sign of the Whale on M.
You have to include a test drive of the "bison burgers" at Ted's Montana Grill. While they have beef, the bison is better.
Maybe after this you can tackle "D.C. Dining for a Dime"
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TRAVEL/DESTINATIONS/11/11/dc.dining/index.html
The Buffalo/Bison Burgers at The Reef are the bizomb!
Sign of the Whale. I'm tellin you.
I urge you to try these burgers in your travels: (1) Harry's Tap Room; (2) Cafe Saint Ex; and (3) Bottom Line. Clyde's used to be my favorite burger too, but it really doesn't compare to these 3. In fact, Clyde's cousin The Tombs is doing a better burger these days. Palena's is excellent, but it's $10. Five Guys is good but a different animal altogether (more fast food-ish). Boulevard Woodgrill used to do a good burger too, but I haven't been there in a few years.
Go to Stoney's for a burger before the wrecking ball hits!
Harry's Tap Room in Clarendon and Polly's Cafe on U Street both contribute burgers worthy of taste testing.
$10 for a burger!? that needs to get off the list. and nanny's better get on it.
For cheap, greasy spoon type burgers, I like Mon Cheri on M Street in Georgetown. it's not a fancy place at all, despite the French name.
Also, miniburgers at Matchbox are great, and the onion rings with them are super great.
obvi, Cafe 227. also best late nite west side of shaw.
Everyone is going to be biased about what the best burger is. Its like Coke vs Pepsi but with a million more options. I just can't wait for the final run down so I can get a decent list of burgers in this town.
Congratulations!! This article features the 1,000,000th DCist reference to the Adams Morgan jumbo slice!!
Your prize? A dead horse. Beat it to your heart's content!
Angles / Little Fountain Cafe in Adams Morgan. Sun Mon Tue - 2 for 1 burgers that are so tasty you can skip the ketchup.
I'm going there right now, baby!
I second the Bottom Line notion. Also, Black's in Bethesda.
Mmm, dead animal. I love it when I get the bits of flesh stuck between my teeth.
Best burgers in town: Nanny O'Briens in Cleveland Park. Maria makes the best well-done burger ever -- cooked all the way through but not a hockey puck, what a concept! (I understand she also excels at "rare" and all stages in between.) For the heart-attack-on-a-plate, get the Nannys Burger, but they're all good.
For something a little different, I like Austin Grill's burger. It comes with grilled onions and peppers, Monterey Jack, and just a little jalapeno in the mix, plus it comes with a salad.
Mmm, meat. It tastes good.
Please, for the love of God, would you send someone to Giorgio's in Del Ray? Without a doubt the best burger/fries combo in the area. Great greasy spoon restaurant that you can watch Spanish language soccer while waiting for your cattle-flesh. The prices also can NOT be beat!
Definitely go to Stetson's and try their burger... if ingesting a stepped-on piece of leather is how you like to party. Worst burger ever.
Stoney's and Matchbox have great burgers. I also like the ostrich burger at Fuddruckers. Indebleu has my least fave burger because it has Indian spices and is too spicy.
I would be remiss if I didn't reccomend Mr. Henry's at 6th and Penn SE. Their burgers are outta sight, and they're half price on Monday nights. Be sure to order some fries, though: the tortilla chips that come on the side aren't as their wedge-shaped potatoes.
What about Starland Cafe on MacArthur Boulevard in the Palisades? (owned by the people behind the 1970s classic "Afternoon Delight") Half-price burgers on Wednesdays, and you might see some famous faces there. Nina Totenberg was there last week, I'm told.
One of the better kept burger secrets: Morton's of Chicago. They only serve them at lunch, and not at all locations (Conn Ave and Reston have them for sure). Downside is the price: $13 last time I chekced. Upside is that, between the enormous sandwich and the pile of wonderful shoestring fries, you probably won't need to eat anything else that day.
I love me some meat, but the veggie sliders at newly-opened Vegetate (http://www.vegetatedc.com) are genuinely outstanding.
I second the Angles vote. Darn good with a pint of their Angles' Amber.
You can stop looking for the greatest burger in Washington. It is no longer here.
I can tell you where the greatest burger in DC used to be: it was on I St NW, in between 4th and 5th at a place called “Crenshaw’s.” Although you wouldn’t know that it was called “Crenshaw’s” because there was no sign out front that said "Crenshaw’s."
We used to go there in high school for lunch. I won’t try and describe how good the burgers were because words would fall short.
Turns out the owner/cook, whose name I cannot remember, died of a heart attack a few years ago and he took his burger recipe with him. That was a tragic loss for DC.
The place was sold and is now run by different owners.
Every burger I have had since cannot compete with those of the famed “Crenshaw’s”
Please, a moment of silence….