Overheard in DC: Incest, Breasts and Chicken
It is time once again to take a look at the strange, funny, and baffling things you’ve heard around town. As always, this feature depends on your keen hearing, so keep on sending your stuff to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
In this edition, incest is never not funny, Mike Tyson strikes again, chickens beware, and Pamela Anderson’s breasts.
Quote of the week
Metro, near Eastern Market:
Two teenage boys sitting next to each other in quietly. Kid #1 is intently studying a piece of paper. Finally, Kid #2 breaks the silence:
Kid #2: "Dude, she's totally your cousin."
Kid #1: "Nah. No she ain't."
Kid #2: "Dude. Totally...look. You totally hooked up with your cousin." [Draws imaginary lines on the piece of paper, which appears to be some kind of family tree.]
Kid #1: [Pause] "Yeah, well, all I'm sayin' is that I ain't never seen her at no family reunion."
Kid #2: "Yeah...whatever."
More after the jump.
Red Line to Shady Grove at rush hour:
Train Operator: "Good evening, good evening, good evening...as you can see, I'm loaded."
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D.C. District Court, jury duty waiting room:
Woman (to no one in particular and everyone): "Has anyone seen Brokeback Mountain?"
Different woman on cell in the jury duty waiting room: "Did you see Pamela Anderson on the Golden Globes?! Oh my God, it looked like she had her breasts in a sling."
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Outside Jay's Saloon, Arlington:
* 4 guys sitting on the sidewalk
* 2 angry cops
* 1 guy face down on the street with his hands cuffed behind his back
As I walked by, I heard one of the guys on the sidewalk say to another, "Who bites an ear?"
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Rosslyn Safeway, Arlington:
Girl: "Travis said he'd stick his hand in a chicken if I want to do that chicken thing."
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Homeless person near Metro Center:
"NO! Third degree means he meant to do it!"
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Orange Line, morning rush hour:
Pacifier-sucking toddler in stroller: "Mrphul bzz. Glurh!"
His mother: "What was that? Are you asking where Bob is? The Bob who works at REI? Well, I guess he's at REI, sweetie."
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Group of Texan tourists on the Red Line:
Man: "Where do we get off?"
Woman: "At the Yellow Line...I think it's Chinaman Station."
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Sidewalk near J. Edgar Hoover Building:
Fanny pack-wearing father, leading a gaggle of fanny pack-wearing kids: "Excuse me, do you live here?"
Man in suit: "Yes, I do."
Fanny pack father: "Do you know where the FBI building is?"
Man in suit: "Uh... well... I actually live in Baltimore. I'm just here for a business meeting."
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Pizzeria Paradiso, Georgetown:
Guy 1: "So, new rankings."
Guy 2: "Of what?"
Guy 1: "My best friends. You're still number 2, but now Sean is number 3."
Guy 2: "Why do you rank your friends?"
Guy 1: "I don't know. Pretty stupid, huh?"
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Office in Alexandria:
Database admin: "And when you pull a mailing list, whatever you do, always exclude code 7."
Temp: "What does that do?"
Database admin: "No dead people."
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Dupont Circle:
20-something woman: " . . .and when she asked him if he is gay or metro."
40-something woman: "Metrosexual, hmpf, in my day we called that 'euro-trash.'"
European man: "What is 'euro-trash,' like French?"
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17th & Pennsylvania Avenue, NW:
"...so that's the story of how I was conceived."
(upon realizing she's been overheard)
"Trust me, it's not that good of a story."
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Elevator in Foggy Bottom:
"It was going great last night until the bar tab appeared."
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Office in Penn Quarter/Chinatown:
Girl 1: "I like Popeye's chicken the best."
Girl 2: "I prefer KFC -- Popeye's is too spicy!"
Girl 3: "I used to like KFC a lot, but it hasn't been the same since the Colonel died."
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Observed on the Metro:
Woman in suede coat, fur collar. Chanel bag, Chanel shoes. Holding hardcover book, entitled "The End of Poverty."