WMATA Idol: The Results Are In
Let's face it: after four seasons of scouring the nation for talent, American Idol is beginning to scrape the bottom of the bucket. There are only so many people out there who can hold a decent note, after all. So the burning question in the mind of every Washingtonian was not who could deliver the most stirring rendition of "Lady Marmalade" for the 100,000th time, but who would rise from obscurity to replace the voice of the classic, eerily robotic Metro scolder.
This morning, the Post revealed the ten finalists from a staggering pool of 1,259 entries. The competition was obviously going to be stiff.
Would it be sassy Sarah Fraser, traffic reporter for 94.7?
Would it be the calm, paternal voice of ABC News producer Jon Garcia?
This DCist liked slightly surly federal employee John Howell, who sounded like he could also teach you something about how to start a fire from two sticks and skin a grizzly bear in addition to train safety.
But at 2:30 p.m this afternoon, Metro announced that the next guardian of wayward train passangers would be 44 year old Virginian Randi Miller, who, although possessing a comforting tone that assures us that our trip will go well, seems to lack a sense of urgency necessary to impart to us the grave consequences of being trapped in the cold vice of a Metro door. WTOP reports that when she was informed of her victory, Miller exclaimed "she could not believe it and that today was the happiest day of her life."
Yours and ours both, Randi. We sincerely look forward to riding with you when your announcements go into effect next month, and into the future.
But while it's nice to hear new voices, we can't help but notice that Metro's song is remaining the same. Doors are doing this, please step to the center of that... where's the new content? What do you wish Metro's prerecorded messages said; and how do you want them to be delivered? Perhaps you'd like to explain what will happen if you chew gum, or offer a few words of wisdom to the tourists standing on the left side of the escalator. Whatever it is, record it and send the file to dcistopensdoors (at) gmail (dot) com. Don't worry about the quality — the lousy mic built into your laptop will do just fine. We'll convert the best entries to mp3s and feature them in an upcoming post.