March 9, 2006
Excerpts From a Crime Report
Time again for the week in crime. We want to emphasize once more that we take crime very seriously, and we will never make light of a situation where someone has been hurt. Thanks, as always, to the Post and the MPD.
This Week in Vehicles of Purses:
D ST., 1400 block, 3:20 p.m. Feb. 19. A gunman in a vehicle robbed two people in another vehicle of purses.
Your Regularly Scheduled Crime Report Excerpts:
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. AVE., 2761 block, 3 p.m. Feb. 21. A male with a hammer robbed a store of cash.
FLORIDA AVE., 1300 block, 1:40 a.m. Feb. 21. A rear window of an occupied home was opened in an attempt to enter it. A dog barked. Nothing was reported taken.
21ST ST., 500 block, 8:25 a.m. to Feb. 18. A man entered a home and searched through coins on a nightstand, waking a male. The resident chased the man and caught him in a hallway. The intruder then escaped with a wallet and a baseball cap.
16TH ST., 100 block, 12:45 to 11:30 a.m. Feb. 22. A refrigerator was stolen from a residence entered by forcing a rear door.
BASS PL., 4600 block, 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Feb. 23. Doors were stolen from a residence entered by kicking a front door.
I ST., 1000 block, 4 p.m. Feb. 16 to 9:30 a.m. Feb. 17. Ladders were stolen from a residence entered through a window.
|
Walking out with a fridge may have been quite a challenge.
wow. that's really boring.
As for the stolen fridge, I'm assuming that's not the 100 block of 16th Street NW. To my knowledge, there are no homes adjacent to the Washington Monument. If there are homes there, that must be some expensive real estate, with views of the White House's South Lawn. And the homeowners can probably afford a SubZero fridge and those things are way heavy ...
1:10 PM Thursday:
Time was stolen from DCist Reader. Suspects are bookish, caucasions wearing t-shirts.
Maybe next week people will perpetrate some funnier crimes. In the mean time, I apologize for the 30 seconds we cost you, DFT.
Well you could always just make them up like people do for "Overheard in DC".
I'm not usually one of those commenters, but you could consider skipping a week if there aren't enough amusing crime reports.
Fair enough. I thought this one was worth it just for the ladders one. I'm imagining the thieves entering an upstairs window, via ladder, only to steal more ladders. This made me chuckle.
:-)))) yes ... and breaking doors to get doors!
I think these are amusing. the prose is weird, it sounds like vehicle is made of purses, the store is made of cash, etc. the third one sounds like the beginning of a bad novel.
Well, they aren't as funny as last week's. Definitely you can dump this feature if they aren't better next week. Can I widen the debate? I think it's a good thing to satirise crime reports in general. They are very disturbing, serving only to frighten people and enhance their prejudices. As for those who say 'Don't laugh at crimes' - well don't you think that the crime reports themselves, printed for everyone's prurient pleasure in the paper, are bad enough!? And don't come on with some bs about the right to know where people get robbed.
AnotherAndrew - you may not care to know where crime is happening but I and many other people do. Especially if a pattern develops in our immediate vicinity.