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Last night 18 District residents, myself included, hopped in the wayback machine and arrived smack dab in the halcyon days of 3rd grade as the D.C. Bee, a spelling bee for total nerds adults, kicked off the first of its five planned preliminary rounds at the Warehouse Theater. Pulses raced, vocabularies expanded, and dreams of victory were dashed in a single round. Luckily, no one peed their pants.
You too can relive your elementary school fantasies and compete in the Bee. Future prelims are scheduled for April 10, April 24, May 8, and May 22, with the contestants who win the top 3 spots from each date returning for a championship round on June 5. Prizes include a modest bar tab at the Warehouse for a win in the early rounds, and the final winner takes home a package including $100 cash, a trophy, and various sundries donated from an impressive list of local businesses serving as sponsors.
If you think you've got the skillz, allow DCist to proffer a few tips, based on our own experience, which just might increase your chances of winning. You might want to take them with grain of salt, however, since I, having been so close to victory I could almost taste it, plan on competing in future rounds and may just be looking to sabotage the rest of you.
1) Arrive early to get on the list of participants. There's only room for about 20 contestants to compete in each round, and though the first night wasn't overcrowded, we're guessing this thing is going to catch on. Be there to put your name on the list by 8 p.m. at the latest. Spelling starts promptly at 8:30.
2) Once you're up on stage, size up the competition. Take a good look at who is sitting near you. It's always the quiet ones.
3) Try not to drink too much beer, as this may impair your ability to spell. Alternatively, drink lots of beer, as this may lessen your nerves and improve your ability to guess correctly how difficult words are spelled. Either way.
4) Organizers Juhi and Nick are not your friends. They are possessed of capricious, vindictive personalities, and should not be looked to for guidance at any time. Do not trust them. Also, they are pretty funny.
5) Pizzicato is spelled with TWO z's.
6) Consider using plenty of trash talk. Last night's round was full of polite golf clapping, but I think all of us would like to see the spelling bee become more cutthroat. As in, you wouldn't know the difference between nephelometry and nefariousness if it came up and bit you on the ass! Or, hey ref, you're malodorous!
7) Beware the 4th round, where the stakes will be raised from having to spell one word per round to FOUR words. This is the round the separates the women from the girls. Sadly, it turns out I am a girl. A little, little girl.
8) All words used in the Bee are taken from the Scripps National Spelling Bee Consolidated Word List, which, if you actually have enough time on your hands to study, should preclude you from being a fun person and therefore you should stay out of the competition entirely.
For more information on the D.C. Bee, check out their web site. Photo courtesy of David S. Holloway.
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