April 28, 2006
Metro Debuts New Word
Last October, Metro kicked off a quirky campaign to encourage commuters to travel more safely; basically, they coined new words to describe safety-enhancing practices and shine some light on those whose actions made riding the rails that much more painful a process. They started small, with four words -- PlanBdextrous, referring to the ability to map out an alternate route home; Sumpnspicious, those suspicious actions and occurrences that should be reported to Metro officials; Conseaterate, the act of giving one's seat to someone in need of a seat; and Doorker, the person who blocks the train or bus doors.
The ad campaign never much took off, with signs bearing the words and their definition appearing only sporadically on the system's many trains. But yesterday we noticed that they had added a new word to the list, this one appearing on an Orange Line train:
Escalump -- Person who becomes a human speed bump by suddenly stopping at the top or bottom of Metro escalators.If we had to hazard a guess, we'd say that this one was pulled out just in time for what is sure to be a summer packed with tourists unaware of Metro's unwritten yet strict codes of conduct. We'd still like to see Metro take on some of the words we made up, including the following favorites:
Sophmapic -- A term generally describing the consistent need of inexperienced Metrorail riders to check the system map and constantly ask, "Is this our station?"These would look awesome in print.Constairpation -- The human traffic jam created by that one Metrorail user that by inexperience or obliviousness to Metro etiquette stands on the left side of a given escalator. See also "Tourist."
Premature Boardgasm -- When a train stops short at a station, only to move forward as users frantically run to catch up with the train's lead car.
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Constairpation eh? I'll try to use that in a sentence today.
This is my favorite public awareness campaign of all time. I like it even more than the t.v. commericial I saw in Costa Rica that taught people how to wash hands.
METRO just came thisclose to telling us we could physically move the people who stop at or near the top of the escaltors.
The second two are good, but go easy on the people who can't remember their station and have to recheck the maps, not everyone has a photographic memory..
Neil I believe it refers to the people who, at each station, check the map and recalculate the number of stops until theirs. The hilarious thing is when these people somehow still mess it up, get off the train, see the platform signs and say "Nooooo! Next one! Next one!"
I was a "Constairpation" t-shirt.
I can't type for anything today. I meant I "WANT" a constairpation t-shirt.
Speaking of metro.. did anyone else see the fight at Farragut North this morning around 7:45ish? Two young professional ladies got into a shouting, then grabbing/shoving match. Hilarious.
This "escalump" phenomenon is one of my biggest Metro pet peeves, and actually annoys me a lot more than the people who just stand on the left the entire way up or down. If you get into the walking lane, and you start walking, you are obligated to KEEP walking until you actually get off the escalator. People who need to stop abruptly five or ten feet before the end in order to carefully "dismount" are just idiots.
My lumps my lumps my lumps, my lovely escalumps!
escalumps and woozles!
Nate,
I completely agree. It boggles my mind how people will walk up the long Q Street escalator at Dupont Circle's and then stop when they reach the top. You walked up 91 steps, so what's another 3?!
One time, I was behind this guy walking up aforementioned Q Street escalator and we encountered some constairpation. And instead of asking to stand to the right, the guy decided to stomp his feet (even after we reached the step behind them) and smack the escalator railing until they moved. LMAO.
I think the cousin to the escalump and constairpation is the slalker (the person who takes their GD time walking down the escalator in the morning, completely oblivious to the 20 people fuming behind them as they are late and trying to catch the train). The male version exists, though rare. Usually it is young, female, in 3" stilettos, and with the iPod to increase obliviousness.
I love the look of shock and revolt that I always get from constairpators(?) when I tell them to move over. It's like someone just punched them in the face.
If older people (like 80 plus) then I let it slide out of respect for the crap they've been thru in life. Younger people, or guys in suits trying to impress each other with some piece of BS story I storm right into them.
We all have our own rules for the Metro but staying to the right on the escalator is pretty damned much universal.
TC
I always wondered how Metro spent its surplus
I actually heard a metro rider call a women who was standing in the doorway a "doorker."
I actually heard a metro rider call a women who was standing in the doorway a "doorker."
TC, while I doubt you meant "universal" as in everywhere in the world, I am going to assume you did so I can point out that in Syndey, people stand on the left and walk on the right. And you know what? The entire time I was there, nobody around me seemed to miss the point. Apparently, DC tourists are stupider than the average.
I would like it better if, instead of a clever sign with a funny word on it, Metro would just put up some signs that state those supposed unwritten rules of the escalator.
I don't think that it's necessarily that DC tourists are dumb (I would like to think that I pay attention to public transit ettiquette when traveling), but that Americans generally do not use public transit until they come to visit the Nation's Captial (or any other big city with a subway system).
Well, public transportation is not the only place that there are escalators. Unless you live in a place where all the buildings are one story tall, chances are quite good that you've at least SEEN how an escalator works. When I see Mennonites trying to figure out the escalators, I'll give them a pass; but everyone else....mmm, no.
Robis,
You busted me on that one. While my facts were wrong, the intent was still right.
No matter where you are the onus is on you to determine what the local customs are and abide by them. Look around and try to mimic the behavior of the locals.
It is too damn easy to do.
TC
It's obvious that they cribbed "Escalump" from my contribution, "Escawaiter", but they didn't want to pay the royalties.
It sounds like Rich Hall's Sniglets (words that aren't words but should be) are being revived.
How about escaloiter for those people who get in the way of the walkers? I also saw another definition this weekend for people who stand on the wrong side but can't remember the name.
They do have escalators in other parts of the country, but they don't seem to have the "walk on left, stand on right" etiquette. I know when I go back home (Ohio) they all act like it’s a ride. It must be that they're not used to a subway system.
They do have escalators in other parts of the country, but they don't seem to have the "walk on left, stand on right" etiquette.
Well let's be honest folks... do they even have that rule on non-metro escalators here? Living near the Pentagon City metro stop, I'm always tempted to walk up the mall escalators since they're 100 feet from metro escalators. But, there is this amazing wall of cultural variation, where once you've crossed the threshold out of WMATA property, mallrats look at you like you're crazy if you want to walk up an escalator.
Can anyone think of non-metro escalators that maintain walking lanes, even around here? I would agree that anyone from anywhere not used to transit-as-a-daily-commuting-tool is not in the habit of walking up escalators.
I was ecstatic yesterday to see the new word Escalefter -- a person who stands on the left of the escalator when he should be standing on the right. Thank you Metro! Finally, a clear and billboarded acknowledgment.
Jay - they do have that rule: common courtesy. However, the "don't get in people's way" form seems to have disappeared. Yesterday I was stuck behind a bunch of slow walkers who were spread out 3 or 4 abreast on the sidewalk.