May 2, 2006
Add One More Word to Metro's Vocabulary
Now we know what to scream at those people that refuse to stand to the right on Metro's escalators -- "Escalefter!" Yes, after much demand, Metro has coined a term to define those that engage in one of Metro's most hated activities. And not a minute too late -- tourist season is upon is, meaning one too many locals getting stuck behind blissfully unaware throngs of out-of-towners. If you're still a little rough on Metro's new words, we've got the skinny on them.
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See, now everyone's going to start getting Escalump and Escalefter confused.
more than anything else i hate the "sumpnspicious" word that wmata coined... as if people don't have a hard enough time talking.
So, isn't this in effect making stand right/walk left an official policy? Can we now get signs NEAR THE ESCALATORS maybe?
AMEN, anon. How about posting these signs on the bloody escalators?
Yeah and remind their advertising dept. not to paste the signs on the ground, so that people walk all over them and tear them to shreds like last time. I can't wait to scream "ESCALEFTER!" at someone tonight (as I encounter these morons every day).
Wouldn't signs that say "Please stand to right on escalators" in big bold lettering be more effective? Saves 13 words, it's an imperative, and there's no pointless pronunciation key. The direct approach works fine on the MTA, more or less.
There are those who feel that the tourists and guests of DC should get a pass on practicing the whole "stand to the right" thing we got going on here, but I must say I disagree.
In just about every station I've ever been in there are multiple escalators visible to all where this not-that-difficult ballet of standing and walking is being executed out in the open. It's not like it's some sort of inscrutable mystic ritual. So, unless people come from towns where they don't have things like "observations" and "inferences," I don't think asking people to roll like we do is that unreasonable.
Still kudos to WMATA for bringing this etiquette issue out into the open...I'd always thought that their official stance on "stand to the right" was one of off-the-record support, and public disavowal.
By the way, one of the other terms WMATA coined, "doorker" (that may not be precisely it), works better in an entirely different context as "to doork", which is the act of blindly opening a car door in front of a bicyclist. As in "I live in constant fear of getting doorked" and "I'm certain tht I'll meet my end at the hands of a doorker."
I was thinking the other day that they should paint the actual steps of the escalator. Put a yellow line down the middle and on the right paint "stand," and on the left paint "walk."
It's a good idea, but of course it would just end up costing a ton of money and people still probably wouldn't grasp the concept.
Kyle my understanding is that at one time that very system was used, but the paint wore off, stairs were replaced, etc.. I believe Liberal Banana's comment references this.
DCist Jason - Take it one step further. Just coz they've never been on a Metro escalator, do tourists and guests not have escalators in their hometowns? Malls, airports, department stores, etc? I have a hard time believing that stand right, walk left is some sort of quirky idea unique to DC...
more than anything else i hate the "sumpnspicious" word that wmata coined... as if people don't have a hard enough time talking."
how about incomprannouncement or annonsement (contrived, i know) to describe the "voice" that often emanates from the speakers on platforms or trains? i know y'all can improve on these...
DCist Colin, I think some of these folks come from places where people just don't walk on escalators at all -- just as they tend to walk slower on the sidewalk. Plus escalators in department stores and other places tend to move at something more than the glacial pace of Metro escalators, so people are less motivated to walk.
Yup, and I don't think anyone's career is on the line if they don't make it the 3rd floor Housewares department at Famous Barr.
I've also yet to figure out what tourists are doing on the Metro (at least the dowtown/Mall) stations at 8:30am when the Smithsonians don't even open until 10am. Sure, the monuments look pretty in the morning, but my briefcase in your face will obstruct the view.
Just out of curiosity, how could the miniscule delay caused by a person standing to the left put someone's "career on the line"?
I have a hard time believing that stand right, walk left is some sort of quirky idea unique to DC
I rode on many an escalator before migrating to DC and didn't know about the "walk left, stand right" rule until my sister from NY bitched me out for lollygagging on the left side of an empty escalator in a deserted eastern Pennsylvania mall. I just don't think people care about the escalator wait when it isn't an integral part of their daily commute.
However, I WAS schooled very early on about the etiquette of airport moving walkways. Those things are there to help you walk faster to your gate people, not to drag your lazy immobile ass and luggage across the terminal at a snail's pace!
Some of my Iowa family (bless their hearts) won't even ride on Escalators. They scare them. The question I have though, and this seems to work elsewhere, is why can't you say "Excuse me" to the person in front of you and then push on through. Sort of like tailgating and flashing your lights. Are you scared that red stater is going to knock you down the escalator or something?
DC1974 don't be so naieve to think that we don't say excuse me to standers. The problem is that sometimes it is hard to hear (due to people, trains, the stander not paying attention, etc.), sometimes you're 3-4 people back from the stander, sometimes people simply don't move, etc.
To me, walking slowly or standing on the right is second nature. However, this is because my middle school was on a hill and had a large, well-travelled, staircase, and it was drilled into our heads.
"Just out of curiosity, how could the miniscule delay caused by a person standing to the left put someone's "career on the line"?"
What's especially silly about all this vitriol against tourists is that so many people rush to work only to piss away the first half hour or so to chit-chat or the Internet.
And seriously, if your career is on the line if you don't get to work exactly at a certain time, leave earlier. I know I harp on this, but certainly not in disproportion to the amount of tourist-based complaints people leave here.
Of all the things you have to deal with when living in a city (especially this city), it is astounding that this draws so many complaints.
I suspect there are deeper identity issues at play here (i.e. a desire to resent tourists thus making you more urban or "local", a need to feel important, etc.) It can't possibly be just the few seconds lost.
Reid, that may be true, but while I'm pissing away that time I'm still 'at work' available for phone calls, emails, etc. I'm can't do that while I'm on the Metro. I do agree that, overall, tourists do not introduce much delay. I think they're just a convenient scapegoat. Except perhaps large groups.
"Just out of curiosity, how could the miniscule delay caused by a person standing to the left put someone's "career on the line"?"
If you're going for a job interview and you're late.
If you have a connecting train/bus and you miss it.
If you have the sort of job where deadlines are hugely important but you often get last minute notice on assignments.
I don't know if you've noticed, but there are some massively prickish bosses in this town who would certainly toss someone out for being a few minutes late. Or at least put their promotions/raises/recommendations on the line.
Also, it's not just about jobs. If I take the bus to the metro, there's only so many I can take to get back home. If I'm on one of the longer escalators, and a tourist - or ANYONE else for that matter - is blocking my way to make that bus connection, I could be stuck 12 miles from home without any bus connections for 20 hours.
And yes, I do leave early, but as I'm sure you know, Metro likes to frequently go off schedule. For example, leaving from Vienna at 8:20 used to get me to Metro Center by 8:50. For the past few days, despite getting on a train at 8:20, I've been arriving at 9:15. Go figure.
Why does it make one damn bit of difference where they're from?
It's only really annoying when you're heading for a platform and know that if it weren't for this idiot in front of you (tourist or otherwise), you could make the train that is currently pulling into the station instead of having to wait ten minutes for the next one.
It's also true (for me, at least) that commuting is the most painful part of working. In the morning, I just want to get away from all the pushing, yelping, smooshing, and stampeding and into my office so I can get settled into my day. The longer that takes, the more irritating it is. When you're just trying to get to work and some schmoob is in front of you trying to hold his digital camera still enough to get a picture of "real people commuting in DC!", it just adds to the irritation.
To be honest, I get madder at the people who look like they should know better than I do at the obvious tourists. Like the people who carry luggage-sized briefcases on wheels, the kind that wouldn't pass for carry-on at the airport, yet insist on blocking the entire escalator with their baggage.
"If you're going for a job interview and you're late."
If you're not arriving at the location of your interview WELL in advance, it's not the tourists' fault for your not getting the job, it's yours.
"If you have a connecting train/bus and you miss it."
I've said this before, but I'll say it again. That's not the tourists' fault. That's just the imperfection of your commute. If a few seconds delay causes you to miss a connection, then a million other things can cause you to miss it too. That's your fault for choosing that commute or expecting it to always line up.
"If you have the sort of job where deadlines are hugely important but you often get last minute notice on assignments."
What the hell does that have to do with having a few seconds delay on the escalator? Trust me, if you're getting fired for missing deadlines, it's not the tourists' fault. It's either yours or the prick boss who doesn't give you enough time.
"And yes, I do leave early, but as I'm sure you know, Metro likes to frequently go off schedule. For example, leaving from Vienna at 8:20 used to get me to Metro Center by 8:50. For the past few days, despite getting on a train at 8:20, I've been arriving at 9:15. Go figure."
The tourists aren't the ones that decided for you to live 20 miuntes from the end of one of the most overburdened subway lines. You did. Don't blame someone else for your decision.
And ML:
"It's only really annoying when you're heading for a platform and know that if it weren't for this idiot in front of you (tourist or otherwise), you could make the train that is currently pulling into the station instead of having to wait ten minutes for the next one."
That's a fallacy. There are a million reasons that you just missed that train. The gawking tourist just happens to be the most apparent and easily identifiable. Blaming the tourist is about as rational as blaming the car directly in front of you a traffic jam.
"The tourists aren't the ones that decided for you to live 20 miuntes from the end of one of the most overburdened subway lines. You did. Don't blame someone else for your decision."
You're right. I blame the economy.
I think there was a liability reason why they don't have signs up on the escalators. Though to put signs like this up elsewhere seems to go contrary to that intent.
That I can actually agree with. That's my very point. It's faceless reasons (like the econo-geography, if that is a word) that cause those missed connections. I'm always for improving transit options, especially to suburban areas (it's shameful how inadequate our commuter rail is compared with NYC/Philly/Boston, etc.).
But I won't support scape-goating of tourists. That's too simpleminded and illogical.
I remember reading somewhere that Metro believed that walking on the escalators actually shortened their lifespan somewhat, so it wasn't going to make it a policy to support walking.
Others seem to think it was out of fear of legal liability. So I don't know which is correct.
"I suspect there are deeper identity issues at play here (i.e. a desire to resent tourists thus making you more urban or "local", a need to feel important, etc.) It can't possibly be just the few seconds lost."
Very astute observations, Reid. However, I agree that it can be frustrating. Hell, I WALK to work and still get pissed at large groups ambling to the convention center, blocking the entire sidewalk. Then, I realize that tons of people either have to get to work before 7:00 am or sit in traffic for hours, while I can stroll in at 8:30 after a 15 minute walk. But at the moment I'm tryng to manuever past them on the sidelwalk, those conventioneers are the most vile people ever put on Earth and anything bad that happens all day will be directly attributal to them. I have to laugh at myself for being such a baby.
We all need to lighten up and realize that these tourist and conventioneers aren't going away and probably will never learn to behave the way we want them to. But what they do is pump money into our local economy so their presence is vital. As someone above mentioned, it's just part of city living. I think there are much larger inconveniences associated with living in the Nation's Cap. If you've lived here for any length of time, you KNOW when prime tourist season is. Leave a little bit earlier than usual. Or, either work closer to home or live closer to work.
Reid, clearly the level of serenity that you have achieved is the result of meditating naked on a cold mountaintop somewhere, and I congratulate you on having attained Escalator Nirvana.
Sarcasm aside, seriously. You're right, it's not rational to blame the idiot standing in front of me who, at that moment, is the reason that I am not going to catch that train.
That doesn't mean that it's not annoying when it happens. It could be one of a million things that has gone wrong on that particular day that have brought me to that particular moment in which I am missing that particular train. Clearly, it's irrational and emotional to become frustrated with the person who has done nothing but innocently stand on an escalator.
Maybe someday, I, too, will reach that lofty plateau of rational perspective that allows me to direct my frustration more rationally. But for now, count me in the ranks of the occasionally irrational, occasionally disgruntled commuter.
Ooh, I'm not angry anymore. This is good.
Honestly, I will try not to vent all my frustrations at the tourists (some of them are very logical and I do actually enjoy helping those that need it). Can I still be mad at those that let their 5-year old run up the down escalator at Metro Center during rush hour, though?
Reid, I think you're being a little narrow in your analysis.
People don't just block the escalators exiting the stations, they block the escalators between platforms at transfer stations. It's very frustrating to have to wait and extra 10-20 minutes for another train because someone was so self-involved and inconsiderate as not to make way for people trying to transfer between lines.
I have in no ways achieved a zen balance, whatever that means. But I just get disturbed at the level of vitriol people have for tourists. It seems to me to be based upon the same base instincts that underlie racism, etc. That's not to say venting about tourists is anywhere close to equivilant with racism, but it does seem to share some characteristics (e.g. a desire to blame a class of people for personal frustrations), which I find disturbing coming from fellow Washingtonians.
Dan S - That brings up another thing.. who are those people that charge down the escalators yelling at everyone despite the fact that there is clearly NO train to catch? Yesterday someone was practically shoving people out of the way and when he got to the bottom I guess realized he was a total jackass and slithered off to the end of the platform.
anon - aren't these the same people that are complaining about the tourists (and others) standing on the left side?
I like to think my vitriol is evenly distributed between tourists and permanent residents. The camera-balancing schmoob of my earlier post can easily be replaced with a Treo-toting staffer, as far as I'm concerned. I'm equally irritated by both.
It's a valid point about tourist-bashing, though.
Reid, I don't care whether the people blocking the escalator are tourists or not, or whether I'm running late or not. I just don't like waiting on the escalator (and it's more than the "few seconds" you say), just as I don't like standing in line. It's especially bad because there's a significant chance that the minute or two delay will cause me to miss a train and have to wait for 5 or 10 minutes on the platform.
I don't care if they're tourists or not. What bothers me is that they are stupid and inconsiderate. And I hate stupid people. I am well aware that most of them hate me right back, and I'm comfortable with that. This particular vice is one example of a particular type that I find especially annoying, and that is the person who is completely unaware of his impact on his surroundings. The blithe nincompoop who gums up the works of every environment he enters because of the perfect storm of poor problem-solving capabilities and a complete lack of situational awareness. I'm not talking about the daydreamers or the simply absentminded, I'm talking about the habitually weak links, the ones who befoul every chain whose unlucky ranks they join. The fact that so many of them think that visiting DC is a great way to spend the summer is incidental.
Reid, there's a proper term for those people, as you so insightfully remarked later in your post; they're Jackasses. (They probably also claim to hold a MonkeyCard.)
Like the Asian Tiger Mosquito, Jackasses are not unique to the Washington-metro region, but they seem to thrive in the environment. For example, in London's Tube stations, there are occasional Jackasses to be seen, but most riders have a preternatural instinct to stand to the right (and like the Metro, it's considered rude to talk loudly or make eye contact with strangers on the Tube). Of course, the Underground does post signs reminding riders of Tube etiquette, something WMATA has been reluctant to do out of apparent concerns over litigation.
KC: if someone is blocking you for more than a few seconds, you need to learn how to talk to strangers and ask them to step aside. Even if they're multiple people deep, I find that asking them to step aside works. This is a city for christ's sake, you can't expect everyone to do exactly as you want without so much as a request from you. Once you bring all delays down to a few seconds, the chance that it will cause you to just miss the subway becomes miniscule, and certainly way less than, say, your decision to leave work/home one minute earlier.
Gabriel: How can someone with such clear misanthropy choose to live in a city? I know you think you're limiting your hatred to the "stupid people" but that you would hate anyone over such a trifling thing makes me think you've got an awfully itchy trigger-finger for who you classify as stupid, and thus hateworthy. And frankly, I've seen a lot more chains fall apart due to the actions of those who are quick to call others stupid than due to the actions of those supposedly stupid people.
Reid,
Even you have to admit that some of the tourist get to you? I'll give you a perfect example. I was riding the escalator (Cap. South metro) going up with a large group of people. Well, I was about halfway up and I noticed people starting to push and scream. I thought something horrible was happening but when I reached the top I noticed that a group of tourist had decided to stop right at the top to wait for the rest of their group. This blocked the platform for people to get off. Despite many people yelling at them they still waited there while giving only enough space for one person to get by them (About 10 people in the group).
I didn't yell because enough people were doing that but I thought they were stupid and laughed about it when exiting the metro station. Those kind of tourist I kind stand because they do things that make you wonder how they live without killing anyone.
How about fat tourists? I want to talk about fat tourists standing on the left with their little obese kids. :)
DJ,
I am sorry to say that there are a lot of fat workers who ride the metro as well. Even when they stand on the right there width is so great they take up much of the left side as well.
All americans are getting fat so I don't think we can blame just tourists for that trend. But, heck I am willing to try. I also blame them for high gass prices and for my girlfriend liking American Idol.
Hear hear, Gabriel! I also am in the ranks of those who hate stupid people---and let's make no mistake, when we say "stupid people" we mean people who probably have an average intelligence but who have no intention of using it. There's just no call for putting other people out because one is too mentally lazy to look around them and figure out how things work.
ms, I know that group, I think. Was it the Chinatown Station? Did they stop at the very top of the escalator and then proceed to use the area directly in front of the escalator as their personal staging area for gathering the troops? If it isn't the same group, what are the odds?
Robis,
I had to laughed because this group was at the Capitol South metro. I have seen the same type of thing occur at other metro stops as well. Metro Center and, yes, Chinatown as well.
I think tourist do this type of thing every day. I wouldn't even want to get off at the Smithonian stop. My gf and I were riding the metro one weekend and we stoped at Smithonian for a good 3 mins with the doors opened. While waiting, this one Metro employee was yelling at the group of tourists who had stopped at the top of the escalator to move along because they were blocking traffic. The backup of foot traffic was pretty bad. She was still yelling at them when the train left the station. People are idoits sometimes.
Misanthropy is so misunderstood. I don't hate the human race for its ills, I hate it for its wasted potential. I can see, in my mind's eye, crowds of people behaving according to the categorical imperative, evincing a clear understanding of cause and effect, sometimes for several iterations, and when I compare that Fantasy metro experience with my Actual metro experience, I have difficulty curbing the urge to shiv. That's not to say I wouldn't put my hand out to stop an idiot walking right off the edge of the platform, Blackberry fingers a-typing, but I would be sure to let him know that he owes his salvation more to the potential for train delays than altruism.
But when you politely ask someone to stand to the right, and they give you the Dirty Look? No mercy. Clear candidate for removal from the gene pool.