June 1, 2006
Gilbertology: Zero Hour Edition
Written by DCist contributor Matt Bourque.
Agent Zero strikes back. In response to this week's reports regarding his Saturday night arrest, Gilbert Arenas is disputing the circumstances of the incident and the suddenly infamous quote attributed to him.
Arenas was quoted as telling the arresting officer, "You can't arrest me. I'm a basketball player. I play for the Washington Wizards and I'm not going to leave my teammate," but he has vehemently denied making such comments, explaining:
Everyone knows me. They know I don't have a cocky personality. I don't use my name to get in trouble and I don't use my name to get out of trouble. That would never come out of my mouth.Though the police report claims that Arenas tried to impede the arrest of teammate Awvee Storey, he also contests this allegation. He asserts that he was simply trying to ask the officer where he could bail out Storey, whereupon another officer cuffed him from behind. According to Arenas, an interrogation of sorts followed.
The officer supposedly asked Arenas if he had any tattoos. Despite risking being charged with Approaching an Officer While Tattooed, Arenas truthfully answered, "Yes, three." He was then asked to reveal his "street name." In a moment of hilarious inspiration, Arenas evoked a new alter ago (no, not Harry Potter): "Zero Hero." While laughing justifiably at the ridiculousness of the situation, the officer pulled the "oh, you think that's funny, don't you?" routine and took him into custody.
Michael Wilbon, for one, believes Gilbert's account of the arrest. We tend to go with the insightful Wilbon on this one. We're sorry, Gilbert, no hard feelings, 'mkay?
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Gilbert Arenas for Mayor! Lets convince him to sell his condo in Miami and move into the city. He's a great guy.
Similar incident happened to me in college. My friend got arrested, and when I went to tell him someone would bail him out, some cop came up behind me and said "You won't" cuffed me, and threw me in the car.
Good learning experience though. Spending a night in the drunk tank makes you reevaluate your life priorities.
Scott, if you read the Wilbon column in today's Post at the end Gilbert says that he's selling his Miami condo. We can only hope he's leaving Miami to move to SoFlo:)
The exact same incident occured to Steelers 1st round pick Santonio Holmes -- a guy with no record or history of trouble who seemed incredulous for being arrested on a nonsense charge
GILBERT FOR PRESIDENT!
gosh, I love that guy.
I trust Agent Zero.
Now, can we please get an alternate photo for all your Gilbert stories?