Editor's Note: Our apologies for being late with some of our regular Friday features -- we experienced some technical difficulties which prevented them from being published on the site.

Quote of the Week

At E Street Cinema:
Employee at the concession stand to (seemingly) no one in particular: "There are a lot of celibate porn stars out there...but they just aren't working right now."

After the jump, weapons of Ancient Rome, our Metro etiquette education efforts finally take root, and something has finally rendered Overheard in D.C. speechless.

This week, our cup runneth over. Keep us in mead and grog: overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.

Image posted to DCist photos by Flickr member themarkpike, used under a Creative Commons license.

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Personally, I like the battering rams. Or hot oil (it's good for my hair).

Waiting for a meeting to start in the Pentagon, conversation between two retired officers now working for the Army as civilians:
Man 1: "What did you do this weekend?"
Man 2: "I'm an Ancient Roman re-enactor so we had an event this past weekend down in Fredericksburg."
Man 1: [something inaudible] "....catapult or trebuchet?"
Man 2: "I'm a trebuchet man myself."

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At last! Word is getting out to the masses! Metro must have finally taken our suggestions.

On the stairs to Foggy Bottom/GW Metro:
Local to tourist standing on the left: "Excuse me."
Tourist to companions: "You're not supposed to do that on escalators."

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I think I smell sitcom gold here.

Walking into the men's room at RFK during a recent Nationals game:
Dude 1: "Dude, I didn't know I was fucking your roommate!"
Dude 2: [muffled grunt] "Whatever."
Dude 1: "Come on man, these things happen!"

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Or the spring, for that matter.

Metro:
A large tourist family piles into a Metro car at rush hour. Two of the kids begin shrieking as we begin to move.
Tourist: "I guess they just don't like the subway."
Office Guy: (under his breath) "Neither do I, in the summer."

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Things that sound dirty, but aren't.

17th & P:
"... and grandma was just raving about Lubriderm."

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Let's finish the sentence for this person: "...but I just don't have a month-and-a-half to spare." (leave your suggestions in the comments)

"Dupont West":
"I've been meaning to read Anna Karenina, but I just..."

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What qualifies as conservative smut?

Parkway shopping center, Grubb Road, Silver Spring:
30-something guy hands a Washington City Paper to his friend: "Here, have some liberal smut..."

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I...I...got nothing.

Tryst, Adams Morgan:
Twenty-something girl talking to her friend about the weather on a recent trip to San Francisco: "It was so nice! The sky was cloudless and so blue. And the air was warm, but clear and crisp. You know what? It was like September 11th. You know, without the terrorism."

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Don't even try to convince me that the McKenzie brothers are boring.

Wedding reception on the Odyssey Potomac cruise:
Guy: "Wait, you mean Jim's not Canadian?"
Girl 1: "No, he's from Florida."
Guy: "So why did I think he was from Canada?"
Girl 2: "Uhh, 'cause he's boring?"

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Time it takes doors to open: 5 seconds. Time is takes to ride the escalator to the top: 37 seconds. Ability to walk up escalator steps: Priceless.

Green Line, Prince George's Plaza:
Woman on train: "Open up doors..." [waits 5 seconds] "Come on open up doors, you're gonna make me miss my bus!" [doors open, woman scurries to escalator and stands impatiently as it carries her]

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You're right; that DID take balls. Oh wait, no. That just took heart.

Adams Morgan:
Punk rock tween girl: "It's like in that movie, Say Anything. He had balls to show her how much he cared for her".

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It's also where Congress does all of its studying during exam week.

Blue Line to Franconia/Springfield:
Daughter (looking at a tourist's map of DC): "What's the Library of Congress for?"
Mother: "It controls the whole library system."
Daughter: "Are there books there?"