By DCist Contributor, Celeste Dawn Mitchell

I never would have noticed Brown’s Caribbean Bakery if I hadn't seen parade-goers piling in during the D.C. Caribbean Carnival earlier this summer. After a couple of failed attempts to stop by on a whim, a quick phone call called confirmed the sinfully early closing time — 6 or 7 p.m., depending on the day.

Once inside, I watched customers stream in for the same grab-and-go dinner: oven-fresh patties with coco bread. While the ground beef patty is no punk, it's the chicken patty that got me all hot and bothered. A whole, boneless chicken thigh peeked out from the corner where I had taken my first bite. Typically, a patty's pastry shell is like parsley garnish – neglected and overlooked. But this tasty, flaky crust played a strong supporting role.

A tattered sign touted a "new" jerk chicken patty that's been on the menu for over two years. It's sauceless and peppery, but the shredded chicken is missing that beloved jerk bite. I’m not hating on it, I’m just saying there are better places up the street, such as Sweet Mango Café, to satisfy a jerk craving. I was nearly distracted by the oxtail and curry goat dinners, but this is a bakery, and damn it, I wanted what I came for.

I couldn't figure out what could be Caribbean about the apple or cherry turnovers, so I moved on to the supersweet currants roll, made with cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, sugar and midget raisins. (They said it, I didn't.) It reminded me of a loosely rolled rugelach.

Strangely, I found the sweet potato pudding to be neither sweet nor pudding. I was handed a bready pie wedge in a brown paper bag. The bread pudding was much the same – dense, heavy and barely sweet. The chocolate chip cookie was crispy and dare I say, salty. Meh. On to the breads…

The owner, Sel, told me that Jamaicans eat spice fruit buns --raisin bread-- either with butter or in a cheese sandwich and that either version would go great with coffee. But there's no coffee on the premises, which is just a crime against baked goods everywhere. Apparently, there's not much demand for it in these parts. But with those Petworth condos going up a goat's jump away, maybe he'd better get on the ball.

My inner sugar junkie was ready to shank another customer over the last cinnamon roll, my favorite pastry in the shop. The moist, sweet bread was so pillowy that I didn't know whether to eat it or catch a catnap on it. It was one those orgasmic eats, where I moaned and eye rolled my way through each bite. Try it and you’ll be hooked.

Brown's Caribbean Bakery
3301 Georgia Avenue, NW
(202) 882-1626