One of the first lessons you learn about blogging is that timing is everything. Earlier this week I was emailing DCist Matt about a story idea, a two part story that would ask the question that just had to be answered: Who is crazier more eccentric, Gilbert Arenas or Clinton Portis? We decided to write it over the weekend and run it next week. Great in theory, right? But then Esquire had to go and drop this bombshell of an interview with Agent Zero that is so good and so full of fantastic, insightful material that we just can't let it wait until next week. Some nuggets for your perusal:

Agent Zero rarely leaves his hotel room while on the road.

I think it came from my first year. I was so depressed that I wasn't playing that I didn't want to go out. I'm gonna stay and do sit-ups or jumping jacks. And I'm not gonna come out. Not till morning. There's nothing out there for me. I don't know those cities. I don't know where to go. I don't have any people. Other guys will be out, the steak house, the clubs, just rollin'. Me, I'm fine. Time is falling off. Sun's coming up. I'm doing more sit-ups than the night before. I'll watch three or four movies. I'll watch infomercials. The last thing I bought was this colon cleanser. I just got talked into it. I'm like, Man, he makes it sound so good.

But wait, it gets better. Here's how he envisions his shoe commercial:

You know how I always throw my jersey into the stands after a game? In Washington, they just go crazy for it. So in this commercial, that's what I'm gonna do with my shoes. I've just hit a game winner, and I throw these shoes. Everyone starts to react, and you see everything in slow motion. Everyone's pushing, shoving, doing whatever it takes to try to get to these shoes. People from the 400 level, they're jumping off the ledge, they're missing the pile, hitting nothing but chairs, and you can just see in people's faces like, Ooooh, that hurt. While all this stuff's going on, one of the shoes pops out of the crowd, and a little girl gets it and she takes off. A couple of people see she has it, and they start chasing her, and she's looking back running—and then she gets clotheslined by a kid in a wheelchair. So he picks the shoe up and says—he's gonna have the only line in there—"They said I couldn't get it. Heh. Impossible is nothing." And then he rolls off.

Get Weiden & Kennedy on the phone! In all seriousness, this may be the greatest piece of journalism ever. Nevertheless, we still plan to run our series next week, so check back then for the final word.