National Temperance Can Suck It Day
If you're reading this, chances are you live in D.C. If you live in D.C., chances are you have at least a small political geek flag to fly. Today's your chance to shine. Stop limiting your nerdiness to naming freshman Representatives at the State of the Union, and throw down at a bar tonight in celebration of the Constitution! Yes, Washington, today is the 73rd anniversary of the 21st Amendment's ratification. What better way to celebrate the re-legalization of hooch than drinking the selfsame hooch? There is none, but before the festivities, a little history.
Way back in the 19th Century, some concerned women of America decided something needed to be done. They were tired of the shiftless and rowdy drunks littering the streets (and the workplaces). They had seen the hell the devil's water had wrought on America's social fabric, and they sought to instill the virtue of temperance in the heart of every citizen. After all, it was an effort to save the institutions of family and home.
But alcohol was popular. People find a certain pleasure in knocking back a few with their friends. But sometimes people found it a little too pleasurable and got blotto. Nothing pissed off Mrs. Jedediah Monroe more than finding Mr. Jedediah Monroe passed out drunk on the front stoop. Furthermore, it took hours and a heaping cup of Borax to get the crude wax pencil drawing of a bull moose having its way with an elephant off Mr. Monroe's face. Enough was enough!
How do you go about limiting the freedoms of American citizens without having them riot? Recruit the churches! Bringing the nation's religious leaders into the fight made people bad about opposing the growing call for Prohibition. It also gave the movement extra oomph when it went after school curricula. Having whipped up enough fervor by the late 1910's, all that was left was the coup de grace. So, how do you stop the country's moral denigration and prompt a new golden age of productivity in one fell swoop? Constitutional fiat!
Congress sent the 18th Amendment to the states on December 18, 1917. By January 16, 1919, three-quarters of the states had ratified it, putting it into effect. By 1922, all but three states had signed on. Only Rhode Island openly opposed it, while Illinois and Indiana failed to vote on it at all. By this time, naturally, the trade in alcohol was more robust than ever. People were brewing moonshine in their bathtubs, major distillers were bribing the Feds and shooting up cops over homebrew bourbon, and speakeasys were all over. There were even rumors that a West Coast mayor openly defied the amendment in city hall.
Constitution was embarrassed. His friends Magna Carta and Rights of Man teased him for being such a ninny, and chastised him for restricting the freedom he existed to affirm. Even his grandmother Iroquois Confederacy thought he had been forced by mere popular opinion. She thought about having him fetch a switch for punishment, but opted for the disappointed look instead. Most hurtful, however, were the opinions of his own people. He had lost credibility, and he was pretty sure most American men were calling him a cockblocker behind his back.
Like the rugged individuals we are, Americans were openly flaunting this new law. However, despite its unpopularity and complete ineffectiveness, Prohibition held on for 13 years. Rationality prevailed on December 5, 1933, however, when Utah filled the requirement of ratification for the 21st Amendment. The best part of the 21st Amendment, apart from the booze, is that it is the only time the Convention (of regular citizens) has been used to ratify an amendment; all others were ratified by legislatures. Please take note: this is the first and last time you will ever celebrate a policy decision arising from the people of Utah.
D.C. had passed its own prohibition law, but repealed it in April of 1933. As such, we were ready to go when booze started flowing once again that December. America had egg on its face from the whole fiasco, but we learned a valuable lesson. It turned out that people's best friends and neighbors were drinkers, and restricting the freedom of the people in the name of someone's narrow perception of our society was just a bad idea. But because of the mistake of Prohibition, never again will we allow an extremist faction hijack the foundation of our government for its own political and religious purposes. Yes America, you can rest easy on the pillow of the 21st Amendment.
We commemorate this glorious provision—and the strength of the living Constitution itself—tonight, and you should too. You can get really literal on us and hit the 21st Amendment Bar & Grill in the Holiday Inn at 5th and C, SW; you can follow local blogger DCDrinks to Billy Martin's Tavern on Wisconsin and Prospect NW—the oldest bar in town; or you can choose your own adventure. I'll probably raise a glass or two at Trusty's at 14th and Pennsylvania, SE. Tell us about your plans, and we'll see you at the office with three aspirin and a giant coffee tomorrow morning.
D.C.'s own Temperance statue (on 7th and C, NW) as captured by katmere.