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It's become a clichéd national joke. When someone mentions monster trucks, someone else says "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!" Unfortunately the Monster Jam was at the Verizon Center Friday and Saturday, so we didn't get to hear those immortal words on TV. But aside from Bigfoot happy meal toys when we were little, we'd never gotten close to a genuine monster truck. Much like a Godzilla movie, the monster truck rally sounded great in theory, but didn't quite live up to what we hoped for.
The Verizon Center was nearly full for the late show on Saturday, including tons of kids, and the arena floor was covered in a hockey rink-shaped layer of dirt. The excitement began in the stands, where a fight broke out in the section next to ours, followed by an extremely drunk guy laying for awhile on the stairs. Eventually security folks arrived and escorted him out.
Then the trucks came out and were introduced, including Grave Digger, the A-list star of monster trucks, and our favorite, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. The event was actually a little hard to follow at first. It's not just trucks crushing stuff -- there are heats where two trucks race to be the first over the cars and cross the finish line. The narration was also, perhaps not surprisingly, hard to hear, and less surprisingly, not as TV-commercial over the top as we had hoped. The sheer noise of the trucks was impressive, though we wish we sat closer to get the full effect.
The races are short and are generally photo finishes, which makes it a little less exciting. The heats were then followed by "quad races", or races of four-wheel ATVs. The little vehicles were divided into Team D.C. and Team Philly, much like the good guys and bad guys in wrestling, and also seemed to be rigged. The leader of Team Philly told the crowd to shut up about 10 times, which sort of gave it away, as did when the Team D.C. guy came back to challenge for the title, and of course, won in the end. And like another racing sport, NASCAR, half the fun was waiting for the crashes.
After the quads and more monster truck heats, a number of guys on motorcycles jumped a big gap and did stunts like handstands on a bike while in mid-air. We'd seen this before on ESPN, but in person it was impressive. The riders also appeared to be really young.
Then came the finale -- the "freestyle" monster trucks. In this, they wheeled out a van to be smashed, which highlighted another aspect of the show we didn't like -- all the cars were pre-smashed. What's the point in having giant monster trucks drive over cars that are already flat? The fun's in the doing. Crushing the van was pretty great, however. The trucks revved up and did various passes, springing and wheelie-ing over the cars, followed by Gravedigger's almost out of control bouncing, which brought everyone into hysterics. It is pretty exhilarating seeing a giant machine bounce and spin over the remains of others. And luckily for the Caps, the trucks didn't break the floor.
Photo by Andrew Wiseman
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What, no Truckasaurus?
Is it true that you pay for the whole seat, but really only use the edge?
lucas - unfortunately not! I was hoping for it too.
So, THAT'S why there were so many baggy denim shorts and "Orange County Choppers" t-shirts down there on Sunday...
i once heard that the races are staged, like pro wrestling. although i think the final one isn't.
and as for the "quad wars," when i saw it back on long island a few years ago, the teams were "new york" and "new jersey."
were there any dirt bikes? that was my favorite part of monster jam back when i saw it.
Kaloramist--don't forget the motorcycle show at the convention center! That and the monster trucks led to a perfect storm of white trash descending upon fair Gallery Place this weekend.
I am SOOOO jealous about the monster truck thing, though. Wish I would have gone.
It helped to be a few beers in at the 2:30 show. The driver of Grave Digger told the audience they were going to put a new engine and a new frame on Grave Digger for the show that night, right before he turned into Boomhauer.
Freestyle Motocross is coming to the Verizon Center at the end of March. I'm really excited about that.
That and the monster trucks led to a perfect storm of white trash descending upon fair Gallery Place this weekend.
What a lovely attitude! I have to say, I really dislike the term "white trash". IMHO it's no different than any other term used to demean and dehumanize your fellow human beings into a stereotype like "nigger" or "faggot".
Anyone that wants to call me PC or whatever, feel free to suck a fart out of my asshole.
Oooh! Oooh! Since I grew up in a small town in the south, can I continue to use "white trash" to refer to myself and my friends, and then get righteously indignant when other people say the word? Cause that would be awesome.
White Trash Pride!
Hill Man - I gotta say, as Former White Trash myself, that I have mixed feelings on this one. About 90% of the time I really don't mind the term. I was born white trash (and probably still am..... you never lose your taste for the Finer Trashy Items in Life) .
It all depends on the intent I guess.
Did I live my youth in a double-wide (with plywood permaskirting)? Yes. Did we have hamburger helper without the hamburger? Yes. Was ketchup a vegetable? Yes. Did we have at least one car up on blocks at any given time? Yes.
Did we call ourselves White Trash? Yes, quite often, but NEVER in the presence of my mother, who worked very hard to educate us and make sure we didn't fall into the trap that many White Trash environments have - poor education, poor nutrition habits, etc...
But, then, I'm also a big homo, and I often refer to myself as such. But, again, it's the intent. If I'm walking out of a gay bar and some loser calls me a homo, then it's not so welcome.
On a related note, I really hate that I missed the motorcycle show last weekend. I suppose, yes, there'd be a lot of folks like me there. Ironically, it's a chance to merge my White Trash and Big Homo sides into one big Ironic Spectacle.... But, then, motorcycles have gone upscale, and it's not just for us low-lifes anymore. In fact, if I hear one more yuppie pine for his $30,000 motorcycle and accessories I may have to get all White Trash on his flabby yuppie cottage-cheese looking ass.....
Hill Rat - last post was meant for you. I weirdly tagged it to myself. My apologies.
As a former resident of the rural Midwest, I've always preferred the term redneck. Then again, my family wasn't particularly hickish; our environment was.
Is "Manassas resident" an acceptable substitute term?