Go Home Already: Shouts and Murmurs
Man Stops Traffic at 17th and K to Demand $200 Million
Compromise Uncertain on Same-Sex Marriage Law
Morning Roundup: Second Helpings Edition
Fire at 17th and L NW Forces Evacuations
Everyone has that one friend. You know the one. The one who steadfastly maintains, Rain Man-style, that he is an excellent driver. Yet you know that the simple act of taking the passenger seat with him behind the wheel tends to be an exercise in faith that today is not your day to die. Then there's that other friend. The borderline racist/misogynist/homophobe/pick your offensive personality type, whose attitudes usually hover just below your tolerance line. He pisses you off regularly, but not enough for you to write him off completely. You've known him since childhood, after all. You're convinced he has a good heart, despite the hard, crusty outer shell. But it is that rare and lucky individual who gets both of these friends all rolled into one ball of lovably hateful delusion.
Quote of the Week
On the Red Line between Farragut North and Metro Center:
Two twenty-somethings on a Friday afternoon during some mild delays:
Guy: "God, what is it with this metro driver? She sucks!"
Girl: "Gah."
Guy: "Oh please, you know it's a woman driving this train."
Girl: "Could you at least PRETEND not to be like that? We all know you hate women drivers but its not nice for everyone in public to know it when i'm sitting right next to you."
Guy: "Well women drivers suck. It is true. Plus no driver is as good as me. And certainly not this metro chick."
(pause of about 15 seconds)
Girl: "So when are you going to get your driver's license, anyway?"
Guy: "I don't have time for that crap. What do you have to do? I hear they have too much waiting at the DMV."
Male voice on the PA system: "Next stop, Metro Center."
After the jump, playing the percentages, ¿Quien es más Asian?, and ab farming.
Your mother probably told you it's not polite to eavesdrop. What, you're going to start taking her advice now? overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
Photo by Flickr user birdcage.
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You'll scoff, but if you try this line long enough, someone's bound to say yes.
Outside Camelot "Gentleman's Club":
Sleazy patron to three girls leaving The Sign of the Whale: "Hey ladies, Camelot's calling...want to catch a show?...I'm single."
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Thailand: now with more of whatever it is you liked about Asia to begin with.
A woman walking down Connecticut Ave points out Thaiphoon restaurant on S St to her two male companions.
"Thai is like Chinese, only more... Asian."
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A young John Basedow protégé.
Orange line from Foggy Bottom:
Teenage boy to boy and girl friends: "Dude, i'm not even FLEXING! I like, grew a six pack!!!!!"
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Don't tell them that Daylight Savings starts early this year.
On the Redline to Glenmont:
Girl #1: "Oh, you're leaving today? Where are you going?"
Girl #2: "Austin."
Girl #1: "Oh, Austin, Texas?"
Girl #2: "Yeah, have you been?"
Girl #1: "No, but I lived in Houston for awhile, my first job out of college."
Girl #2: "Oh, nice. I'm excited. ... Do you know the time difference? It's only an hour, right?"
Girl #1: "No, it's two. You're going to be jet lagged."
Girl #2: "Oh, that sucks, I get in at 10:40 tonight, so it'll be like 12:40 here, right?"
Girl #1: "No, 1:40."
Girl #2: "Ohhhh, right. Damn."
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We can only hope the kid's not home schooled.
On the main floor atrium of the Museum of Natural History, near life-size stuffed elephant:
Tourist father to son: "That sure is a big elephant dinosaur!"
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Where is Laura Sessions Stepp when you need her?
Two teenage girls, exiting the Eastern Market metro:
Girl 1: "I didn't really want to kiss him, because of that thing on his face, you know. It's a burn, but I thought it was herpes."
Girl 2: (nods)
Girl 1: "It's too bad though, I didn't get to show him what I really can do."
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How could Jimi Hendrix have led us astray?
On the Georgetown campus:
Guy 1: "Dude, I just don't think it's a good idea to tell a girl that her new haircut makes her look like a small woodland creature!"
Guy 2: "...Uh, you look like a fox?"
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The Camelot one reminds me of the David Cross bit about the garbageman trying to pick up girls...
"Everybody's got that one friend or friend of a friend who's got that annoying attitude, that gung-ho, go-for-it attitude, that guy that's like, 'Hey man, whatever. You know, that's fine, you can live your life the way you want to live it, stay indoors, play your video games, read your books. Nah, man, I go for it, see what I'm saying, I make life happen... I'll ask a 100 chicks. Maybe I get 99 no's... maybe that hundredth chick likes to fuck on a pile of trash.'"
dear christine, i heart you for knowing that bit.
They give women licenses now?
Outside Camelot is a choice spot for amusing overheards. The other night, a bespectacled elderly gentleman was passing by, flanked by two teenage boys (grandsons, perhaps), and said, "That's a decent titty bar, but nothing like the titty bars in my day. Did I ever tell you about Gloria?" One boy noticed my amused expression and looked mortified and a bit creeped out.
Heh... that woman-driver-hater sounds like a more evil version of George Costanza. I love the fact that two of George Costanza's biggest sources of pride are making good time while driving, and parallel parking...