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"Working for the government" can mean Amtrak, White House or the Endangered Species Committee. It can also mean bor-ing. But now feds can prove they do more than fill out forms and draft legislation all day. Like doodle on meeting agendas and carp about busted staplers. The first annual Funniest Fed contest is open to civilian employees, military (both active and reserve) and the Legislative and Executive branches. They want this secret community of sarcastic, silly fed employees to escape the cubicle for the dark stage and microphone.
Office gripes can make for good material, but stay clear of the nitty gritty. Absolutely no "degrading the U.S. agency of employment or public service," according to the contest rules. Or outing a CIA agent. Or compromising homeland security (both strictly stipulated). The contest rules are a bit thick—as if a government employee who writes and re-writes rules all day for a living created it or something.
Federal contractors and consultants are absolutely not eligible. And using the "government’s time" to fill out any contest-related forms? A huge no-no. But one thing Funniest Fed producer, founder and now standup comic Naomi Johnson did get cleared by the Office of Government Ethics (the moral spine and tsk-tsking body for government agencies) was a $250 cash prize!
Photo by Kelly Nigro
Johnson, a former Presidential Management Fellow and employee of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS)—and director of Frank Warren's sold-out Post Secret exhibit in 2005—wants "smart, clean humor." Bill Cosby, Ellen DeGeneres and Jon Stewart are her model examples. What about Washington natives Dave Chappelle or Lewis Black? Violating Code E-1234? The website encourages applicants to "play to the top of your intelligence." Does that mean no dead baby jokes? Some feds should double-check with agency heads before potentially making asses of themselves. According to the Office of Government Ethics, most employees should be in the clear, but a few might be violating federal ethic codes by participating.
Funniest Fed sounds something like Capitol Steps, but after you hit the refresh button. A little fresher, a little zestier. A little more stand-up and less Weird Al-type musical spoofs on stage. Written applications are due March 30th, and can be sent electronically to funniestfed@gmail.com. So far, Johnson has received applicants from as far as California and Boston. Auditions will run in mid-April, and the official contest spans for seven weeks through May and June at various D.C.-area venues, culminating with a laugh-off at the Cinema N’ Drafthouse in Arlington. Plus, the fee has been waived this year! Maybe they caught on to the whole government not paying you enough thing. A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Meals on Wheels Association of America.
Check out the Funniest Fed website for more info.
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Wow... talk about biting the hand that feeds ... I mean "reads" you. Yes all of us Feds are boring old stodges griping about staplers. Any other DC cliches you guys want to trot out while you're practicing creative writing in public?
Never let it be said that I don't love a good dead baby joke. Doesn't everyone?