This post from new DCist contributor, Matt Cordell

How do D.C. chefs stack up? Last night, representatives were put to the test when José Andrés (owner of Zatinya, Café Atlantico, Jaleo, Oyamel, and minibar by josé andrés) and his sous chefs, Katsuya Fukushima and Ruben Garcia, stepped into Kitchen Stadium to do battle on Food Network's Iron Chef America.

Despite being advertised in advance here, here, and here (looking like the Spanish Terminator), José "chose" Iron Chef Bobby Flay to battle, because he has the "spirit of a Spaniard" (Does it annoy the other Iron Chefs that they have to show up and stand on their pedestals despite the fact they know they're not being picked?). What a bold choice it was. Flay, already the host of half the Food Network's line-up, last year created Throwdown! with Bobby Flay, a show in which he roves the countryside looking for pick-up food battles. He's Mad Max with a spatula (and, to this point, undefeated this season).

Flay wasn't a secret, but the battle ingredient was (some things are still sacred). That is until the Chairman lifted the ingredient cover to reveal a massive mound of taut goat flesh. Andrés was hoping for cigalas, centollo, or lobster. No dice. "Battle Goat!" in Iron Chef speak.

Flay and Andrés dove in immediately, grabbing choice chunks of meat from the stack, although, as judge Tim Ryan later lamented, nobody had the balls to go for the creepy goat head. Andrés took the lead early, by butchering up a storm: removing tenderloins, carving ribs, and then dicing the loins with an Italian cleaver. He tossed the ribs over to his sous chef, Minibar's Katsuya Fukushima, which, for some reason, warranted a replay. Cafe Atlantico's Ruben Garcia rounded out the strong start by quickly emptying two bottles of red wine into a pot filling an ice cream machine with goat yoghurt and goat milk.

Flay, after a quick bit of deft butchery himself, rubbed down the goat tenderloin with a truckload of Garam Masala. His sous chef, Brian Ray, whipped up some red chili oil and a roux, while Neil Manacle, to no one's surprise, started frying Anaheim peppers.

The difference in style was evident. Flay, as a big-flavor guy, crafted dishes that were more standard fare (even though they looked tasty) -- tacos, meatballs, curry, and a tagine, while Andrés veered more toward the fanciful; Minibar, with it's impressive presentation and "molecular gastronomy," was really shining through. The question, however, was "Will Andrés' fancy stylings hold up on the judges' taste buds?"

The preparation in the meantime made for some great theatre, though. Rueben micro sliced avocados. Jose filleted whole seed packets from tomatoes. They made "caper air" and "pomegranate foam" with lecite, a soy-based emulsifier. Rueben filled 16 syringes with a reduced red wine, chilled them, put them in a rack, and pressed down uniformly on top with a board to make "red wine caviar" in the magic solution below. In a final touch, Fukushima and Andrés plopped a glass dome over a plate of ribs and filled it with a "tobacco enthusiast's" pipe full of applewood smoke, prompting Cheech and Chong jokes. "Dazed and confused ribs," Brown called the dish.

What made us particularly proud was that , Andrés stood up to the hard-charging New Yorker's trash talking, "Don't sweat, you're on TV baby!," Flay bleated as Andrés was actually sweating through his shirt. He dished the same out, though, asking Flay if he needed some help late in the hour as Andrés leisurely plated his dishes, stood back to assess the levels of his foams, and plated some more. Flay, meanwhile, was screaming about barbeque sauce and flipping out over the tagine.

The suspense of the evening was finally at an end. Judges Jim Ryan, Jeffrey Steingarten, and Rene Syler clearly favored Andrés' dishes. The judges laid into Flay early, accusing him of overshadowing the goat with too many spices. For Andrés, however, the praise was effusive. Despite two small objections of the goat being a little tough, and one dish being a little too salty, the judges made their intentions clear. Even Flay, visibly deflated, implied that Andrés' dishes were much stronger. At the end of the evening, there was only one real mystery: why is Jeffrey Steingarten such an ass? He unnecessarily quibbled with Tim Ryan about whether saltiness was an objective truth. He suggested that Flay's meatballs could be made of gerbil for all he knew. He even insinuated that Rene Syler didn't know how to construct a taco. Then without invitation, he started eating off her plate. Is American Idol so pervasive that even Iron Chef needs a Simon Cowell?

When the numbers came down, Andrés won in a landslide in all three categories, besting Flay 55-48 out of a possible 60.

Here's a rundown of both chef's menus:

Flay

• Goat Meatball Salad - Meatballs of goat, lamb, and pork over goat cheese with arugula, microgreens, and a tomato mint sauce with smoked paprika
  
• Chile Relleno - Anaheim chili stuffed with goat on a sauce of goat milk yoghurt, pomegranate, and walnuts
  
• Goat Red Curry - Thai style red curry of goat on a crispy rice cake (risotto flash frozen, made into cakes, and then deep fried) with ginger and garlic.
  
• Goat Taquito - Goat loin with spice rub and chipotle-honey glaze, pared with grilled tortilla, queso fundido, and pickled red onions
  
• Tagine of Goat with saffron, apricot, and cranberry couscous.
  

Andrés

• Goat tartare wrapped in avocado with caviar, "tomato caviar" and "caper air"
  
• Goat "couscous" - Couscous made of sauteed cauliflower
• BBQ Ribs and Corn - Goat ribs cooked in sauce made of Mexican cola on top of a corn puree, all under a dome of applewood smoke.
  
• Slow-cooked goat tenderloin over cheesy mashed potatoes with Spanish olive oil
  
• Goat milk sorbet with aforementioned pearls of red wine and fruit
  

Photo courtesy of flickr user dcjohn.