April 30, 2007
Pandamorous
There's a new tool combating pandas' frankly pathetic interest in species propagation: panda porn. (Link is SFW) Zoo officials in China are using video of pandas mating to induce the animals to get it on during their shockingly short (24-48 hours) mating season. Above and beyond any mere Panda Cam, these flicks include loud audio and plenty of adult situations. The result has been many successful pregnancies. We can only hope this baby boom successfully assuages China's thirst for our panda seed.
Any pandaphile will remember the anxiety surrounding Mei Xiang and Tian Tian's first round of breeding, that produced a bouncing baby Butterstick. Now with another bump watch in effect at the National Zoo -- they've even got a blog dedicated to effort -- we're all hoping for another little 'stick (henceforth to be known at DCist as Pat).
If this latest effort to inseminate Mei Xiang with clearly inferior San Diego sperm fails, however, it may be time to get our own panda erotica and let the couple go at it as God intended: driven into a sexual fury by porn from Asia.
Photo by Flickr user EKCJ.
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Ugh. Don't they know that panda porn IS violence against pandas and degrades pandas everywhere? It's also been proven that panda porn inevitably leads to "harder" stuff, like wholly shaved panda amputee fetish films, forced panda enema bondage videos, and even "fluff snuff" as it's known in autoerotic asphyxiation plushie circles. In fact, most of the pandas that appear in these films are addicted to narcotics and forced to "perform."
God, how I would NOT want to be a fluffer on the set of one of those films.
Seriously though, that's really funny. I can't believe it works so well! And I can't believe they actually gave the pandas viagra.
monkeyerotica, what do you do? like, for money/internet access? it can't possible be "work"... i'm in awe of your domination. teach me!
Mei Xiang and Tian Tian didn't successfully breed, you idiots, she was artificially inseminated. Is it really that hard to check your facts, or are you too busy committing crimes against grammar?
Fiberglass Panda Porn is scattered all over DC. Statues of heavily-tattooed Pandas are a turn-on for the most depraved of the species. I can't understand why children are allowed to view these monstrosities.
Does it hurt to get facts right? Alisdair is right about how the cub came to be. But also, Mei and Tian's first round of breeding was in 2003. Your April 24 panda post had several errors, too. If you're so interested in these animals, why can't you make an effort to write about them accurately?
I just new that our resident bestiality expert would be the first to post a comment.