Overheard in D.C.: Re-Imagining the Mall
The National Mall is, as we're sure the Park Service will tell you, a national treasure, a constantly evolving piece of L'Enfant's vision of Washington. (It is not, however, a place for careful editing, unless "relfecting" is a colonial word meaning "to walk about in knee-high tube socks and bermuda shorts upon gravel pathways".) The key word, though, is evolving. The moment ground is broken on one monument, the lobbying begins for the next one. In the past decade, we've seen the additions of the FDR Memorial and the World War II Memorial, and the MLK Memorial is a work in progress. But sometimes it takes a visitor from elsewhere to think outside the box, to imagine the Mall in a way that might not occur to us. For instance, why not submerge large portions under water? Turning the National Mall into the National Pool has obvious benefits for keeping cool in those brutal D.C. Augusts, not to mention providing a training ground for the Capitals to cultivate young talent in the winter. Plus we could finally move the "National Aquarium" out of that little corner of the Department of Commerce building. The exploratory committee starts here. Who's with me?
Quote of the Week
A couple walking along the mall taking a photo of the Capitol Building:
Guy: "Wasn't this all underwater?"
Girl: "What are you taking about?"
Guy: "Remember in Forest Gump when he is giving the speech?"
Girl: "Oh yeah, Maybe that was just for the movie?"
Guy: "Well, they should have kept it, it looked cool."
After the jump, black belt reading, the straw that broke the metro employee's back, and post-menopausal moms.
Remember when your kindergarten teacher taught you to stop, look and listen? Well, that advice doesn't just apply to crossing the street. overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
Photo by Flickr user LaTur.
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Bookmark.
On a crowded metro train:
Two girls riding together, one reading a paperback. After a hard stop during which the one reading amazingly doesn't lose her place in her book, she says to the other:
"You know, I could probably fight a ninja and still read."
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You know you're just jealous someone else had the guts to say it before you did.
Crystal City Metro:
Tourist, looking at a map: "Excuse me? Which line do I take to the Smithsonian?"
Tourist's Wife: "Why is this so confusing? How do people in DC get anywhere?"
Metro Employee: "Look, are you colorblind? Or just plain stupid?"
Tourist and Wife: *silence*
Metro Employee: "Shit... you colorblind, ain't you?"
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Things we'd rather not know about our moms.
Waiting for the green line metro at L'Enfant:
Young lady to her friend: "I don't see how she can say she hasn't been sexually active since menopause. My mom had a hysterectomy AND menopause... and she's still kind of freaky."
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And who says Hollywood doesn't have positive role models?
Two professional men, one much older, discuss the future of the older man's college age daughter:
Younger guy: "Well, what about law school? I thought she was interested in that."
Older guy: "Yeah, her mother doesn't think she's serious about that"
Younger guy: "Why not? She could be just like Elle Woods!"
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Please fill in the unintelligible blank.
Group of older men sitting on stoop, U Street:
Man #1: (unintelligible)
Man #2: "Naw, man, it really irritates my bowels.... and my mouth."
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It would make air travel less boring...
At the Barking Dog in Bethesda:
Drunk patron, excitedly flipping through a catalog of sex toys, which the bar distributes: "It's like Sky Mall - but with sex toys!"
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Living paycheck-to-paycheck is never easy during the elementary school years.
At the Tidal Basin, one teenage boy is trying to skip a small branch into the water:
Young Boy #1: "That's not going work."
Young Boy #2: "Whatchu wanna bet it's going to work?"
Young Boy #1: "Not much, man. I'm broke."