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May 7, 2007

Caps Briefing: Beating Up Youngsters

Caps-Logo.gifLast week we reported that seven guys who played for the Capitals this year are now tearing up the American Hockey League playoffs with the Hershey Bears. Over the weekend, the Bears beat the evil Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins two more times, taking a 3-0 lead in the best of seven East Division Final series. The Bears weren't the only Capitals beating up on less talented players, though.

Alex Ovechkin spends his summer vacations playing in the World Championship of Hockey, a tournament sponsored by European leagues to showcase the best hockey players in the world who couldn't make the NHL playoffs. Everybody makes the NHL Playoffs. In this tournament of tiddlywinks, the Kharlamov Trophy winner did what any self-respecting hockey player would do in a relaxed, meaningless scrimmage: he tried to kill the worst bush-league player out there.

In a stunning coincidence, the player Ovechkin brained is actually named Valentin Wirz (pronounced "worsht") and really plays Busch Hockey. Of course, this isn't to say that he isn't a great Swiss hockey player. Only that it's hard to tell why Ovechkin would give him the time of day, let alone take the time to brain him.

Clearly this is not the first time Ovechkin has tried to kill another hockey player with a dangerous and unnecessary hit from behind. It's just the first time he's been suspended for it. In the NHL, great players are treated with the same love and respect that a used car salesman gives to Ferrari. There's no sense losing commission just because that wicked sportster might kill somebody.

In fact, when 2003 NHL rookie of the year Dany Heatley killed teammate Dan Snyder with a Ferrari Modena, he took a year off to recover from personal injuries, and then got traded to a better team. Meanwhile, at a cheesy tournament in Russia, where no one died, Alexander Ovechkin has been suspended.

Russian hockey officials simply don't understand the importance of star appeal, and it's a shame that they don't give Ovy the respect he deserves. This one-game suspension is an affront to superstars everywhere, and we hope no great players will ever have to play in this awful tournament again. At least we can take solace in knowing that Alexander Semin won't be subjected to this horrible treatment. He was kicked off the Russian team after he declined to attend their stupid practices.


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Comments (5)

Ugh.
I'm normally a big fan of the Caps Briefing, but why so hard on the World Championship?

First of all, it's not sponsored by "the European leagues;" it's sponsored by the IIHF, ice hockey's international governing body. The same ones who run the Olympic tournament.

Secondly, it was held in the US not all that long ago, and it's heading to Canada pretty soon (next year, I think).

Although I can't explain why, I know it's not a big deal in the US, but that hardly means it's not a valid tournament; it's hardly "cheesy."

It gets some decent coverage in Canada, and it is the event of the year in pretty much every other hockey-playing nation. Try getting a seat in a central/eastern European restaurant during a game. It's impossible.

Personally, I wish the NHL would throw its weight behind this instead of pushing a World Cup on a hockey world that really doesn't want one.
(Same with baseball and their "World Baseball Classic" by the way. Just because a tournament isn't created in the Americas doesn't mean that it's not valid.)

As for the Swiss, that google link is a little bit harsh, especially after their performance in Turin. Not to mention all of the great players from the Eastern Bloc they've attracted to the LNA over the years.

Good job hyping the Bears, though! One for the OTHER thumb! :-)

 

The "hit" is available on YouTube....it didn't appear to be intentional.

Go Bears. Whooooooo!

 

First you call Ovechkin out for repeated "dangerous and uneccessary hits from behind" and then call the tournament officials out for not giving him the respect he deserves?

D-

 

I totally agree with you! Except for the second, third, fourth, and sixth paragraph, I thought it was a well thought out piece of Pulitzer-worthy commentary!

 

Now that I had a chance to calm down a little bit I decided that I no longer agree with you on the first and fifth paragraph and the nominating committe has deceided to revoke your pulitzer-worthy commentary! Sorry I don't make the rules...wait..yes I do..sorry!

Sincerley,

Justin
Member of the pulitzer prize awarding comittee

 
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