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With military recruitment numbers continuing to spiral downward, this week's quote of the week got us thinking. All the military really needs is better marketing. You can't really envy their task in trying to get people to sign up for an unpopular war. Maybe they need to play down the grim realities. Play up the softer side of the military. Use things like the volleyball montage from Top Gun to show that doing your duty for God and Country can be just like a vacation. Just please ignore any and all homoerotic subtext, no matter how much Maverick and Iceman grin slyly at each other with the sun glinting off their oiled chests. And the slogans need work. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer to not be an "Army of One." If I'm going into combat, I'd kind of prefer to be in an "Army of a Whole Lot More Than the Other Guy Has." The woman in this week's top quote is on the right track. I think something like "Navy: For People Who Like Paddling and Water and Stuff" has real potential.
Quote of the Week
Dupont Circle, girl on a cell phone:
"The Navy?!?"
(pause)
"But does the Navy get called up? I mean, I know the Marines do... they do everything."
(pause)
"Yeah, if I was gonna be in the armed forces, I would have done the Air Force or the Navy. The paddling, the water... I like that kind of stuff."
(pause)
"Yeah... so does the Navy really get called up?"
After the jump, lube jobs, Strom of the Dead, and being rich means never having to say you're sorry.
This being a holiday weekend, we will make exceptions to the "In D.C." rule for next week: Overheard at the Beach is a perfectly acceptable substitute. Either way, send your quotes to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
Photo by Flickr user Miscelena.
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Slip slidin' away.
In the Tenleytown CVS:
Frat dude on a cell phone: "Actually, it's kind of embarrassing. I need to get some lubrication. It's for a project."
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The Father, the Son, and the Holy Segregationist
In the office:
Unaware Peppy Girl: "I didn't know you worked for Strom Thurmond!"
Senior Staff Member: "Oh I didn't, I just know one of his old staffers."
UPG: "Oh cool. We went to the same school. Yep, we both went to Clemson!"
SSM: "Oh that's cool."
UPG: "Yay! Anyway he's one of my favorite dead people... besides Jesus."
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And we'll bet it's double parked, too.
The Diner at 3 a.m. on a Sunday night:
Two girls are sitting next to each other. One gets up to go to the bathroom. A drunk woman barges in, and sits down in the empty seat.
Girl: "Excuse me, my friend was sitting there."
Drunk Woman: "I don't give a fuck, she ain't got as much money as me!"
Girl: "Uhhh... that doesn't matter, you're sitting in my friend's seat."
Drunk Woman: "I gotta $80k car outside, I can sit wherever the fuck I want!"
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The dog can stay. You, on the other hand, have to get off now.
On the 32 Bus going down Wisconsin Avenue:
An annoying, high-strung woman trying to convince a metrobus driver to let her carry a tiny, yappy dog onto the bus, Paris Hilton style: "I have a permit for him somewhere...I have a disability, I have to carry him with me. I swear. You can trust me, I'm white."
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The planes land in left field.
Employee speaking to customer on phone at a business:
"D-U-L-L-E-S. Yes, uh-huh. City? Not sure...No, ma'am it's not in Washington, that's the other Airport, RFK..."
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Euphemisms gone horribly awry.
Outside the Union Pub on Mass. Ave.:
Young blonde woman: "Nuh uh. That can't be true."
Brunette friend: "Yeah. They are called Kegel exercises and they tighten up your, um...Chihuahua."
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It's the place where dreams come true.
On the Blue Line:
"Here's another place I'd like to work: The Pentagon. From what I understand, they have everything you could ever want there."
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Malaysian time preferred.
On the 54 bus:
Girl on cell phone: "Ok, I'll pick you up at 6:30." *pause* "No, I am sick of Filipino time!"
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Now that's an ugly duckling.
Next to the Reflecting Pool among the geese and goslings:
Parent to children: "Look at all the baby ostriches!"
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Unfamiliar with the concept.
Leaving the tomb of George and Martha Washington:
Tour Guide: "So everyone, what is the most exotic thing you have ever eaten before?"
Teenage Boy: "Rocky Mountain Oysters!"
Teenage Girl: "I've had oysters!"
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Wow. This weeks list is pretty good, or awful, depending. The trend must go up with the weather, like the crime rate.
For some reason the juxtaposition of that last one leaves me with the mental image of the tour guide casually noshing on George and Martha's remains (whatever may be left of them at this point) as he's asking the question -- is that weird?
i'd love to know what happened with the drunk rich woman. but really, why go to the diner with there's jumbo slices to be had?
You might want to research the facts regarding military recruitiment numbers before you base an entire introduction on the false assumption that they "are continuing to spiral downward"
In April, the Department of Defense April the 23rd consecutive month that the active duty services have met or exceeded their goals.
The Army's slogan is no longer "Army of One." Now it's "Army Strong."
Meeting recruiting goals....by lowering standards for admission?
Yay Robert! Wait to catch THIS crap on its downward spiral!! It's just some snarky hipster commmentary from the comfort of their lofty self-righteous perches. Thanks DCist, but the great men and women of our volunteer military would not be dissuaded to "sign up for an unpopular war." They serve ALL of us regardless, and that goes for you in your skinny jeans too.
Drunk Woman: "I gotta $80k car outside, I can sit wherever the fuck I want!"
This is what I love about DC: all those ironic references to "Glengarry Glen Ross."
"Filipino Time" is a common joke among (guess who) Filipinos. We have a reputation for being constantly late, so "6:30" in Filipino time means something more like "7:00 - 7:30." As a corollary, Filipinos say someone who is always early is following "American Time." Seriously.
Military enlistment numbers are spiralling downward just like DCist's readership is shooting the roof.
Not just lowering standards...the military has also been lowering its goals. It's easy to meet your recruiting goals when you just lower the bar.
This post is in terrible taste for Memorial Day.
But I wouldn't expect any different from the cosmo-sipping pansies who run this site.
What the hell is wrong with you people? Memorial Day is for more than barbecuing at your friend's Logan Circle townhouse. Soldiers are dying and you're typing jokes.
shooting the roof? did you just make that up, AUA? If so, back to the drawing board.
Robert. My mistake, the article I was reading was outdated, and I misread the date. You have my apology and my admission of error on my part. That said, Evan's and EdTheRed's points are both valid ones.
And That Girl, the friends and family I have who are now, or in the past have been active duty military are no fans of this war, nor are they very thrilled at the prospect of fighting in it, because they are under no delusion that our involvement serves me, or anyone else they care about back home, skinny jeans or no. And while you might contend that this means they hate freedom, I say it just makes them independent thinkers. But your contention that I'm making any commentary from any self-righteous and detached perch is particularly insulting, as I'm no stranger to having people close to me in dangerous positions.
I would, however, like to thank the both of you for completely sucking the fun out of a lighthearted and meaningless feature. I love it when people do that.
Wow, who let the self-righteous, hectoring Republican curmudgeons in this week? I don't see the Filipinos waving pitchforks and screaming of outrage.
Since when did it become offensive to tangentially make fun of the armed forces? I can only imagine what these people must think of old M*A*S*H reruns.
I swear, I remember the days when it was the *lefties* who were outraged all the time. Now, god forbid you hoist a Mexican flag on your car wash roof, or point out the simple fact that the military's not really selling too well these days, and Lou Dobbs will host a town meeting on your front lawn asking your first-grade teacher why you hate America.
Can't you guys just go to church already and leave the rest of us the hell alone? TIA.
skinny jeans hipsters at dcist??? I enjoy the blog and all of the editor's hardwork on it, but have you seen their bios- they're all girl/boy next door types who otherwise don't stand out from the crowd. You've probably stood next to them at the black cator 9:30 club before and not even given them a second thought. Besides, The uber-hipsters everyone conjures up when this sort of slander is thrown doesn't really exist here, at least not in large. That is one of the few things that makes DC nice, that people find things more important than annoying fashion trends.
Also, you're living in a vital urban area, and along with that comes leftist poltics and folks critical of the government. If this upsets you then don't leave your NOVA suburb and/or shut up until you go back to the midwest after your year long internship/fellowship is up.
Well said Ian.
Oh, and for what it's worth, last year I went on a date with a soldier who'd recently returned from Iraq. In the middle of dinner, he point-blank asked me whether I thought the war was a valid one. I hemmed and hawed through what I thought was some vacuous, bland statement so as not to insult him - how I thought it was, but there were some big problems with what was going on, not the soldiers' fault, mind you, but the government's, yada yada yada.....
He shot me down and said flat out that it was a mistake and it was wrong for us to be there. He was actually angry at me because I was trying to justify it. I got no nookie that evening, I can tell you.
So yeah, That Girl, put that in your Marlo Thomas flip, why don't ya?
So anyway...
That girl can't be a very good christian. Isn't the whole point that Jesus *isn't* dead? Is she saying that he's her favorite dead person because she thinks the central belief of Chistianity is false? So, like maybe the reason she likes him is because he started this whole world dominating religion on a lie? I guess that would explain why she like Strom so much...
Also, I call BS on that quote with the dog. Maybe she said I have a permit, and maybe she said trust me, but I just absolutely can't see someone say "you can trust me, I'm white" to a black bus driver (although I should say, I recently saw my first white WMATA bus driver, so clearly the Plan is moving ahead). I don't doubt that people might think that, but I just really, really doubt someone would say that in that situation.
>And That Girl, the friends and family I have who are now, or in the past have been active duty military...
Oh wow, the military equivalent of "I'm not a racist, I have a black friend!"
Steve, why is this post in terrible taste for Memorial Day? Are you implying that you think it's ok to express yourself genuinely at other times, yet put on a happy face and act superficially supportive when the spotlight's on? Please, if you're going to take issue with someone's opinion, call them out on the merit of it itself, not that B.S., post-9/11 "no saying potentially remotely offensive things at poignant times" crap.
I promise, Reid, I distinctly heard the crazy woman say "you can trust, me I'm white." I couldn't believe it myself - but I can't think of anything else she could have said that would have sounded like "I'm white."
The whole situation was pretty unbelievable. There was more to it - the rest just wasn't quotable. It ended with everyone getting off the bus because a homeless woman walked up to the crazy woman with the dog and slapped her, and the latter insisted that the bus driver call the police because the other woman was a menace to society. We got off and waited for the next bus (after crazy woman begged us to stay so she could have some "normal people" be witnesses for the police - note that we were two of the only other white people on the bus). It was all very, very crazy.
I promise, it happened - my roommate was sitting right next to me the whole time.
Dear Ian:
Active duty Army here... served in both Iraq and Afghanistan.
Not only am I proud of my service, not only am I convinced that we are on the side of right in an essential global conflict, but I also cannot think of even one other Soldier I know personally who doesn't feel the same way.
DCist *is* habitually snarky towards the military, the war in Iraq, and our President on a routine basis. To suggest otherwise is, simply, an insult to our intelligence.
"DCist *is* habitually snarky towards the military, the war in Iraq, and our President on a routine basis. To suggest otherwise is, simply, an insult to our intelligence."
That's an excellent observation, Tom, and I never suggested otherwise. I'm not sure where you got that idea. I certainly never said so.
There's a big difference between being snarky towards the military (snarky comments towards that tend to be directed towards the leadership), the war in Iraq, and the President, and being snarky towards the troops. I fully admit to and support pointing out the folly of the first three. The last, though? For you and your service, Tom, I have nothing but the utmost respect.
Your politics, however, I don't see eye to eye with. And hey, that's fine by me. But your service doesn't make your opinion of the political reasons for this war any more valid than mine any more than the fact that you don't know any soldiers who are against the war means that they don't exist.
Tom's in a bubble. I know plenty of soldiers, both present and past, who have serious misgivings. In fact, the people I do know who do think like Tom tend to work stateside, in private companies like Raytheon etc. Way to support our troops, guys. Congrats on those stock options btw.
Dear Mark:
Stateside? Yes, for the moment. I've already done two tours, and will likely soon do a third.
As a Soldier. In the United States Army.
The only bubble is the one you've ensconced yourself in.
Ian, I'm glad to see that you admit that DCist has a rather pronounced bias against our military and our commitment to free an oppressed nation. You may want to consider that your site's bias represents just that, a bias, and is never a fair representation of reality or widespread differing opinions. If your site has any remote aspiration to be "journalism", you might want to correct that. When there are a few non-snarky comments that support the commitment of our troops to fight and win in Iraq, then perhaps I'll believe this site wishes to fairly present all sides of an issue. As for your utmost respect, it saddens me that so many people in America this Memorial Day are unable to see the connection between their lack of support for our troops' commitment to the mission and the targeting of American public opinion by our enemies in the region.
Watch out Mark, you are totally ensconced now.
Remarks to Tom's remarks:
Major network news organizations are accused of having bias. Pointing out bias in a website run by 20-somethings is the definition of redundant.
It is obvious that DCist does not vie towards journalistic integrity, at least not the "overheard" section.
All sides of the issue? Reprinting propaganda from the Army Times isn't in these peoples' best interest.
Save the best for last
"it saddens me that so many people in America this Memorial Day are unable to see the connection between their lack of support for our troops' commitment to the mission and the targeting of American public opinion by our enemies in the region"
--I don't think blogs are breaking the camel's back, I believe it's the killing we are doing. Yeah, it is most definitely the killing. And they can target the hell out of our public opinion all they want, its when they start targeting our buildings and people that I have a problem with.