June 1, 2007
Overheard in D.C.: A Little Off the Top
I thought I was getting such a good deal on my salon visits. A shampoo, a good cut, some pleasant conversation. They have good music playing, and everyone's friendly. Most importantly, the price is low enough not to seriously offend a sense of haircut-related frugality instilled through years in childhood spent getting bargain cuts in wood-paneled barbershops where grizzled Vietnam vets with fewer than 10 fingers cut hair with brisk efficiency while Hank Williams Sr. crackled on the AM radio. But now I think I'm missing out. I mean, who knew I could be getting a haircut with a side of sexual harassment, and all for a mysterious sliding scale?
Quote of the Week
In line at Java Green on 19th Street:
Blonde post-sorority professional talking about her hairdresser: "The only thing is like, when he's doing it, he likes to say really, really dirty stuff. Like 'I just wanna take you upstairs and bend you over' and stuff like that. It's kinda weird. And then when you go to pay, it's always a different price that he just writes down on a little piece of paper."
After the jump, the Connecticut Avenue Mafia, the newest skater accessory, and diplomatic relations with Northern Virginia.
If eavesdropping is a sin, we're your confessional. All is forgiven at overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
Photo by Flickr user willpwillp.
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Mr. Soprano Goes to Washington
In front of Jury's hotel, Dupont Circle:
Man with a NY accent talking loudly into cell phone: "Yeah, I'm down here fuckin' doing some work with...ummm... those who won't be named."
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Snakes on a Crosswalk
Near Metro Center:
Teenage boy with skateboard in left hand & live snake in right hand, to the lady standing next to him at a light: "Just keep looking at the road."
Lady at light: "What? [looks down] Oh my god!"
Teenage boy: "I told you not to look down."
Lady at light as she backs away: "That's harmless right?"
(When he crosses the street another woman sees the snake and screams.)
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They're right. A country with congressional representation.
In Dupont Circle:
Female: "Yeah, they do things differently in Ballston. It's like a foreign country over there."
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Computers have feelings, too.
At the office:
A computer behind mine, the AOL guy: "You've got mail"
Worker: "Shut up."
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Ford's Theatre should have thought of this decades ago.
On U Street:
Woman pointing at Lincoln Theatre: "Is that where Lincoln was shot?"
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What the hell is a "post-sorority professional"??? [note: I know the DCist editors don't write the descriptions, but maybe the person who submitted it is reading this.]
Post-Sorority Professional: The bleach-blond woman in enormous sunglasses, high-waisted dress, and diaper bag who works on the Hill/Dupont/Farragut by day and crawls Adams Morgan with her striped shirt counterparts by night. Basically, honey was trendy greek life beer bong fodder two years ago and now rolls up at her DC law firm or staffer job.
Lady at light: "What? [looks down] Oh my god!"
Teenage boy: "I told you not to look down."
Lady at light as she backs away: "That's harmless right?"
Sounds like my wedding night.
Oh, come on - use your imagination to conjure up a hairdyed, well-made up woman who has a way-too-bitchin' tan for June 1. Tada, post-sorority professional!
Ian, the "if eavesdropping is a sin, we're your confessional" is a gem. I will work that analogy into my barhopping tonight for sure...
Hi! That was me, submitting the overheard!
Liz: if you have to ask, you probably are one.
But there is a certain niche to it, not just the bleached blonde / too-tan / huge sunglasses thing. Since this is "overheard" in DC, it doesn't really matter what the speaker looks like (does it?)... what certainly matters, though, is the way they say the ridiculous shit they're coming up with. I took a jaunty 4.5-mile stroll home yesterday, mostly through Georgetown, and I heard these... these... I don't quite know how to describe them. Loud, annoying female voices emanating from groups that travel in packs of two or three (any more would be non-exclusive), carrying bags from expensive boutiques... voices and personae that want to say, "Look at me, I am privileged," but all I hear is whiny, annoying tripe.
If I were a dude, I certainly wouldn't make them put paper bags on their heads while I was banging them senseless, though I would probably make them wear ball gags and pretend to choke them, telling them I thought it was kinky, but really just enjoying the silence.
Hahaha I sound like a serial killer! Awesome.
Goodness, Kate, a little bitter for a Friday, eh?
Just wanted to hear the actual description-- it was a random grouping of words that you don't hear too often together.
The story made me laugh in any case!
I'm bitter every day, baby.
kateR, you've made my day with all of this! i've gotta get everyone else in the office to read this...
kateR-
i think i love you!
I totally understand where kateR is coming from.
It's women like that who make me glad I'm not straight.
The description "Blonde post-sorority professional" simply means that the woman was much, much better looking than kateR.
OMG this post is so racist. Hillman......where are you?
I saw that skateboarding feller with the snake on Pennsylvania Ave yesterday afternoon. I'm glad I wasn't quoted on this site "eek-a-snake-ing"
Friday night at 18th & Columbia. Homeless woman sits down to a dinner of left-overs donated by a passer by who recently exited the Old City Jerusalem felafel place:
"Where's my motherfxcking meat. I ain't no vegetarian."
Kate-that was remarkably well-written... you're my hero!
Last night on a flight coming into National from Charlotte:
Lady behind me: What's that building?
Me (in my head): Is she talking about the Washington Monument? Nah, not possible.
Lady: And why do they have a circle around it?
Me (in my head): Omigod, she IS talking about the Washington Monument!
kateR - Your little post about the ball gag sounds like it's probably your own barely suppressed desires.
Hey married creep -- I'm married too, I'm pretty darn good-looking, and yeah, I'm dominant in real life, so I'm mostly submissive in the bedroom. Next?
Damn #3 stole my long-held belief that you need your passport when you enter VA. Yes I'm a city snob. Fully admitted one though, so it's ok, right?
That's hot! Any chance you're actually *my* wife?
slim to none.
i think kateR raises a good point.
DCist needs more sexy time.
where are the sexy time posts?
and please don't tell me to look at brightest young things for sexy time :/
"skateboarding feller with the snake"
What a d1ck. Snakes get sunburned. Also, I can't wait for the U-Tube video of him wiping out and maiming his pet. Dialing the SPCA as I type...
That's the first time I've ever heard anyone, ever, get sentimental for a snake. Even "GOD" thinks snakes sucks.
(And I don't mean Robbie Fowler - I mean the other God that never played for Liverpool)
Are snakes even animals? You'd probably want to contact the SPCReptiles.
jeffResistor
I'm not sure if you're being serious or not, but I agree with you. Idiots with "status" pets (i.e. ferrets, iguanas, snakes, tarantulas, etc) who cart them around just to be different and treat the creature as if it were a freaking feather boa (excuse the pun) should be kicked in the groin.
To quote a certain deceased cable sketch show's take on the subject, "ou're so different.... I'M so different!"
effResistor
I'm not sure if you're being serious or not, but I agree with you. Idiots with "status" pets (i.e. ferrets, iguanas, snakes, tarantulas, etc) who cart them around just to be different and treat the creature as if it were a freaking feather boa (excuse the pun) should be kicked in the groin.
To quote a certain deceased cable sketch show's take on the subject, "Oh, you're so different.... I'M so different!"
Ex-Hy Hy, I'm being totally serious, but I guess I phrased it in a way that sounds not so serious. I get very angry when I see idiots walking around outside with their "manly" pythons or boa constrictors just to attract attention. No one who does this has ever bothered to find out how you're actually supposed to care for a reptile. Snakes stay in the shade during the day to avoid certain death at the hands of sunlight and heat.
Alright ya jerks. My girlfriend was the one who said the Lincoln Theatre remark. Immediately after she said it she quickly corrected herself by saying "oh yeah, Ford's theatre".
These are taken out of context. I hate you forever Dcist.
Steve, part of what makes this stuff funny is because it is taken out of context. Nobody but you knew it was your girlfriend, so let it go, relax and remember it is ok to laugh at yourself or your girlfriend for that matter.
To flight from Charlotte to DCA...
I call that flight "the Ship of Fools"
From a south carolinian
This was a long time ago at a nats game...
Beautiful girl looking very out of place at a Nats game standing in line at the concession stand with her boyfriend. Commenting on the crowds at the concession stand..
Girl - "Wow this place must get super packed at half time."
Boy - "Halftime?!?! Jesus Christ, Stephanie."