Dear Vapiano Head Honchos,

I've been working as a tray here for a few weeks now. It's a great gig. I could have ended up doing the whole wet, smelly cafeteria tray thing. Here hot girls pick me up and press me against their bodies while they wait for food. Unfortunately, the whole experience isn't as good for them as it is for me, so I'm writing to bring some issues to your attention.

Honestly, I don't know why a German chain is selling Italian food in the U.S. Coming from a country known for its efficiency, the restaurant isn't running that way. At around noon, even when each queue only has three people, they stand in line 15-20 minutes to get pasta. Maybe you just need to adapt to the American way; the folks here in Downtown usually want to get in and out. And they don't want to stand waiting. Perhaps you could have customers order and give them numbers, table tents, or maybe one of those fancy vibrating pagers that they have at the pizza line.

Some people really like the food and others aren't fans. I remember one opinionated girl talking about how she was excited to see them rolling out the dough and topping the pizza, but was disappointed that the crust wasn't crisp enough and didn't have enough flavor. She also didn't like how thick the prosciutto was and how it made the pizza too salty. Said maybe it was thick because of the stereotype that Americans think bigger is better. Then she joked that maybe the supersizing should apply to the little bottles of soda. Another person commented that the pasta was slightly underdone. I think maybe that was a result of the chefs not having enough time to prepare it and trying to get people out the door. I got the general impression that most people were left saying, "Meh." You've only been around for a short time and need to take time adapting to American's tastes.

The communal tables take some getting used to. I don't get the sense that most people are comfortable sharing tables with strangers. But who knows maybe you'll start a trend. Some customers have certainly been trying to take advantage, and try to sit next to some hotties.

I mean no disrespect in my comments. I love the concept. I really want to see you succeed, but things need to change. For my part, I'll do my best to hold up and try not to drop food on the floor. Nowadays it's getting hard for trays to find work. I don't want to end up under someone's ass as they slide down a snowy hill. So please change, for all of us.

Regards,
Patience
Tray #451

Vapiano
1800 M Street N.W.
202.640.1868
Metro: Farragut North or Dupont Circle

4401 Wilson Boulevard
Arlington
703.528.3113
Metro: Ballston