June 26, 2007
With Great Power Comes Great Demand For Opiates
According to WJLA, yesterday afternoon a man wearing a Spiderman mask walked into a Giant pharmacy in Fairfax, snuck behind the counter, and threatened a pharmacist with violence if his demands for Oxycontin weren't met. He managed to escape with some pills, and police are still on the lookout for him.
There's no word yet on what he wanted the pills for — is Aunt May in some sort of distress? Could he need these raw materials to synthesize an antidote for his friend (and occasional nemesis) Dr. Curt Connors? Perhaps he's just confused from another bout of post-cloning amnesia. Whatever the reason, this is hardly the first time that an alarmist press has jumped to demonize the webslinger's at-times inscrutable motivations. It's a real shame, and we're frankly embarrassed to see an otherwise excellent news organization like WJLA stooping to such reactionary depths.
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Warning: Nerdy comment below
Maybe his head hurts from trying to beat "Spider-Man 3" on PlayStation 2. Oooh, that game sucks so bad!
Would it have been better if the thief wore a Dr. Smith mask from 'Lost in Space' and to be overheard to say...."The Pain.....the pain".
i webbed you! that means you got robbed!
I've got to admit - that headline is funny.
Has anyone seen Rush Limbaugh?
I lobbied for our paper to use a "With Great Power" pun for the lead, and was unsuccessful. Thanks for making that happen for me, Tom.