Overheard in D.C.: Daddy Dearest
It's the middle of June, and that can mean only one thing. Necktie and golf ball manufacturers are smiling, for this Sunday is that magical day when children across the nation give the gift that says, "You know, adult male who lives with us, it turns out I really don't know you all that well." Just be sure, if you go the Titleist route, that you don't go cheap. An extra 20 yards on his drive is a gift he won't soon forget. But regardless how impersonal the gift, just be sure to at the very least say thanks. After all, whether he's been there for you your whole life, or only for that ill-advised drunken five minutes back at the very beginning, you wouldn't be here without him.
Quote of the Week
CVS at Connecticut and K, in front of the Father's Day cards.
20-something girl to her friend: "Hmm. They don't have one that says, 'Hey, you're a douche bag, but I need to be nice to you so you'll keep sending child-support payments.'"
After the jump, oenological misnomers, the candyman can (get you drunk), and more Paris overexposure.
Your father probably told that only hoodlums and ne'er-do-wells eavesdrop. What, you're going to start listening to him now? overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
Photo from Flickr user stephentrepreneur, used under a Creative Commons license.
------
Willie Wonka and the distillery?
A middle aged couple and their 8-year-old son at Chevy Chase Wine and Spirits:
Son, exasperated: "Mom, hurry up. What's taking so long?"
Father, interjecting: "This is like a candy store for mom and dad."
------
The Decline of Western Civilization
Three jouralists watching CNN break the Paris Hilton goes-to-court story:
#1 Journalist (older, distinguished): "She brought in cosmetics artists to her home shortly before she left!"
#2 Journalist: "I know, it’s ridiculous."
#3 Journalist: [disgusted] "This is why the Roman Empire fell."
------
Nope, all of those are blank on the inside.
In front of the Georgetown Barnes & Noble, where a large stack of Kahlid Hosseini's A Thousand Suns is on display.
Woman pointing at stack of books: "Ooh, let's go see if they have it in stock!"
------
When morons meet oxymorons.
Outside Cornerstone Bar in College Park:
Frat guy to buddy: "Man I hate that he's dating that stupid Christian virgin slut."
------
Role models in action.
Orange line downtown on a Saturday afternoon:
Mom to 5 year old son with his baseball cap turned sideways: "Turn your hat around!"
Boy: "No!"
Mom: "Turn your hat around!"
Boy: "Why?"
Mom: "Because you look like a homie."
Boy to Dad: "What's a homie?"
Dad: "Um ... someone who lives in the city."
------
In case you're wondering, he's not kidding.
Macy's in Pentagon City, waiting by the men's dressing room:
Man: "At our last bacon party we had three DJs and two bands. It was amazing!"
Woman 1: "Really? So, does everyone just bring a different dish with bacon in it?"
Man: "Oh yeah! And we have bacon cooking stations everywhere. We even had bacon flavored ice-cream."
Woman 1: "Wow..."
[Man leaves to try on clothing.]
Woman 1 (speaking to friend): "That sounds so cool! How fun!"
Woman 2: "Disgusting."
------
Some have delusions of grandeur. Some just have delusions that they're interesting.
On the bus back from the Vintage Virginia Wine Fest:
Young Loud Guy: "If they were to put a camera in our apartment.....Fuck Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey. We would so make some money."
------
It's OK, parades move slowly.
At the Capital Pride Parade in front of JR's as a car with a large BFLAG banner drives by:
Several in the crowd: "What is BFLAG?"
[Guy 1 goes up to the car to ask]
Guy 1: "The B is for blind."
Guy 2: "Should they really be driving if they're blind?"
------
The new math.
Outside the Trader Joe's in Foggy Bottom:
Woman to her friend as they are walking in: "They have this great three dollar wine here. It's called 'two-buck chuck.'"