Gawker Perfects Art of Talking Out of Ass

Hey look, someone who writes for Gawker doesn't know where to go out in D.C., and thinks that everyone who lives here works for the government and never changes out of their work clothes! How adorable.

Yesterday, I was trying to get home from Miami, but the weather had other plans, and the plane I was on got diverted to Washington, D.C. To Dulles Airport, to be exact, which is way farther outside of the city than I thought? But why would I ever go there? Exactly. Anyway! I gave up and got off the plane, and made my way to Union Station, where I sat at a bar and drank red wine and ate some weird fake tandoori chicken salad thing, and next to me was the most ridiculous first date I've ever had the opportunity to overhear.

Congratulations on being the saddest little New York hipster in the world, "Doree." Because you're totally right on target to assess the quality of a city by heading straight from its least convenient airport to the train station in order to observe the dating habits of its inhabitants. Why, whenever I travel to your city, I always fly to Newark, then go directly to Penn Station on a Friday afternoon to grab a Diet Coke from Hudson News and deduce that New York is a terrible place to live because all anyone there ever does is complain about waiting in line and wanting to get the heck to Long Island and all there is to eat there are Pretzels.

So we can't say we blame you for posting the subsequent, Does Boston Actually Suck More Than D.C.? reader poll, in which you oh-so-originally claim that people in D.C. are "ugly," dress only "for the office," are entirely represented by the Late Night Shots crew, and that "everyone works for the Federal government, which right now means the city is crawling with smarmy Republicans. Including George Bush." But you forgot to mention how we're all lawyers!