August 17, 2007
Overheard in D.C.: Let My People Go!
Nobody enjoys having to muscle through a dense crowd of people on the metro platform. Especially on those days when everyone is so eager to get on the train that they don't even wait for anyone to get off before surging onboard. Times like that, we wish we had some magical power to transport past the crowd, but then again if we could do that, we wouldn't be taking metro to begin with, now would we? But now that we think about it, the parting powers of the Lord might do the trick.
Quote of the Week
Metro Center, red line platform to Shady Grove after a Nats game:
An obviously seasoned metro-rider exits the train and confronts the crowd on the platform: "That's right, part! Part like the motherfuckin' red sea!"
After the jump, just how hot is that dog, the entertainment value of injuries, and debating the parameters of rush hour.
There are no vacations from your overheard responsibilities. Send those quotes to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
Photo by Flickr user LaserGuided, used under a Creative Commons license.
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Communication breakdown.
Late Saturday night, at the 7-11 at 27th and P Street. Tipsy good-timer engages in frustrating colloquy with confused clerk about the counter-ready hot dog varieties.
Good-timer: "Which one of these hot dogs is not too hot?"
Clerk: "Hot?"
Good-timer: "Not Hot!"
Clerk: "Hot dogs are hot!"
Good-timer: "What kind of hot?"
Clerk: "What?"
Good-timer: "Why not, I want two of those."
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Those Philly fans really are a rough bunch.
At the Nats game, two Phillies fans watch the aftermath of a foul ball that gave a patron a concussion:
Girl: [as green-shirted RFK staff members throw up yellow cards and look expectantly towards the back of the stadium] "So...who comes when they throw up those yellow cards? Like, who are they for?"
Guy: [matter-of-factly] "They're for the fans, so we'll all know to stare at the injured person till they're carried away in the stretcher."
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If this is rush hour, then where's my Playskool briefcase?
Red Line heading towards Grosvenor:
Mom getting on train with 4-year-old son: "Okay, now we have to be careful on the train because this is rush hour."
Son [incredulous]: "No it isn't..."
Mom: "Uh, yes, it is rush hour."
Son [vehemently]: "No it isn't!"
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Speaking of space cadets...
In the office:
Girl: "I swear I saw a UFO once over New Mexico. I was driving outside of Albuquerque and I saw a UFO."
Guy: "Did you ever see any in the United States?"
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Bright and shiny, just out of the box.
On the Cleveland Park metro elevator:
Striped shirt guy talking loudly on his cell: "Nah, she got a new nose."
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Sigh. Just when you thought this feature couldn't get any less funny....
#1 - Are you kidding? "Nah, she got a new nose" is comedy GOLD.
Really, this thing needs to be retired. It's slightly less funny than leukemia.
The comment about the Philly fans being a rough bunch was slightly amusing because I'm from Philadelphia and know this to be true. But the thing about the yellow cards was so confusing (maybe because I'm not a baseball fan) that it completely killed the punchline.
The rest are just horrible. Let's face it, the odds of someone saying something original and funny in DC are slim, and the odds of happening to overhear said funny comments are even slimmer.
How about a weekly roundup of the funniest comments on DCist? People have a better sense of humor when they're behind a computer screen.
Sometimes I get 20 submissions and can cut the weaker ones. Sometimes I get 6, and I run them all on the theory that the person who sent it found it funny, and so might some other folks out there.
But in either case, you're always welcome to simply not read it and search for that elusive case of leukemia if that's what gets your rocks off.
#3, wasn't that tried for awhile? I seem to recall a 'best of the week' feature on DCist commments, but it seemed to only last a week or three.
"But in either case, you're always welcome to simply not read it and search for that elusive case of leukemia if that's what gets your rocks off."
Now THAT is funny!!!!!!
i, for one, thought the parting like the red sea comment was pretty funny. make me kinda guffaw in my cubicle, even.
the rush hour one, though, not so much.
but hey, something is better than nothing. keep on running this column, please :)
I thought the quote of the week was great. That's exactly how I feel when exiting the train onto a crowded platform.
I think these are funny, and I always look forward to them. If you don't, just don't click on them. Yeesh.
Retire "overheard in DC"? No way! I think this feature is an important representation of just how cool DC has become.
The fact that at least one person thought it was at all funny is what makes the baby jesus cry.
I think this feature is great, especially because I know the weekend is almost here when I read it
people who say "make baby jesus cry" make me cry
Okay, I've heard of bug chasers, but "leukemia chasers?" Banging people with terminal cancer is a discussion thread I can get behind. Run with it!
Heh. I said "behind."
Oh c'mon it's August so it's a little slow. Definately keep this column running. DC douchitude knows no depths and I'm always waiting to see if the new week outdoes the previous one. (I read "Datelab" in the WP magazine for the same reason)
You people with no sense of humor better hush it. I almost always laugh reading these things.
I'm sorry, part like the motherfuckin' red sea is classic! I've always wanted to say something like that to the airheads on the platform (even when it's people like me who are half asleep like me in the morning...)
I'm always looking forward to "Overheard". Besides, Baby Jesus has been dead a long time. He really doesn't care anymore.
Oh for fucks sake you all. I submitted the nose overheard. But after seeing your angry reaction to it, from now on I'm only submitting overheards about the baby Jesus and his battle with leukemia.
I call Shenanigans on Overheard in D.C.
The submitters and/or DCist is making them up.
Its fake!
Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not but no way, don't get rid of this feature. I look forward to it every week.
LOVE this part of your site! Hope you always keep it up...don't listen to haters.