Written by DCist contributor Claire Compton

Friday night at Clarendon Ballroom felt like a nightmarish sorority semi-formal, when hordes of mostly twenty-something women stormed Arlington for HOT 99.5's Lil' Black Dress Party.

Party host Perez Hilton, aka Mario Lavendeira, has captured the minds of the celebrity-obsessed with his questionable photoshop skills and invented words, such as "whoreanous." We're going to borrow the term just this once (forgive us) and call the scene outside of the ballroom whoreanus. A line of mostly girls stretched back around the block, many of them wondering aloud to friends or into cell phones about their chances of getting in. Those that didn't--and there were quite a few--could be seen wobbling away on stilettos in a huff.

The self-proclaimed queen of all media granted interviews beforehand to the Washington Post, People magazine and other outlets. We wanted to know if he was serious about a posting earlier in the day that speculated about a Jenna Bush/Henry Hager pregnancy.

"I wouldn't put it past her, she better have that wedding fast so it's not illegitimate."

Photo courtesy HOT 99.5

Right. So much for that rumor. Perez did grant our request to name the couple, a la Brangelina or Bennifer. "Whiskey Sour!" pause. "No. Rum and coke! Yes! Rum and coke!"

Accompanying Perez were Joel and Benjy madden, brothers and members of the band Good Charlotte. Joel has recently had more attention for his procreation skills than his musical output, impregnating tabloid star Nicole Richie. Although Richie was spotted in Georgetown earlier that day, she did not show up that night in Arlington. 99.5's Kane announced the official engagement of the couple, the first such announcement.

Perez' visit to D.C. is his first since a high school field trip, and he politely described it as "so different" than New York or L.A.

"Psychologically I think you're always drawn to those thins you've never had growing up," he said. Maybe that explains the crowds that turned out for a gossip blogger, two members of a band and only the vain hopes of a glimpse of one-half of The Simple Life.