This week at Overheard, we'd like to take a moment to give thanks for a segment of the population that we feel is unfairly maligned. That's right, we're talking about you, Mr. Stares Blatantly at Women's Breasts on the Metro. And you, sir, who just nearly walked into a pole while leering at the woman who just walked past. We raise our glasses to the guy surreptitiously taking pictures of girls' rear ends on the metro. Yeah, we saw you do that. And we can't even begin to thank all the fine gentlemen of LNS enough. We salute you all. Because regardless of what flaws the rest of us have as men, at least we can always point at you and say, "Well, at least we're not that guy." You always make us look better in comparison, as Mr. Rogers might say, "just by your being you."

Quote of the Week

Chipotle in Silver Spring, over the Tuesday lunch hour:

Moron #1: "Dude, check out this chick behind us."
[#1 and his friend turn around and blatantly look the girl in question up and down, not caring that she is close enough to both see and hear them.]
Moron #2: [notics that she's wearing red shoes, nudges his friend] "Look, ruby slippers... There's no place like my bed!"

After the jump, the perfect accessory for that little black dress, a severe failure of the Steve Jobs marketing machine, and the high cost of the perfect bowl of soup.

With so many folks out of town this weekend, it'll be that much easier to overhear what those who are still around are saying. Send what you hear to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.

Photo by Flickr user moriza, used under a Creative Commons license.

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The red one doesn't match those shoes at all.

McPherson Square Metro station, :

Woman with her family, remorsefully: “I should have brought my black fanny pack…”

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Bill Gates wishes.

Red line between Metro Center and Gallery Place:

Mom to 4ish-year-old daughter, pointing out the in-tunnel advertisement: "Ooh, do you see the movie next to the train?"
Daughter: "What does it say?"
Mom: "Microsoft."
Daughter: "What is Microsoft?"
Mom: "They make iPods."

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Ask us about our discounted week old produce. Aisle 5.

In the Whole Foods checkout line:

Girl to boyfriend: "I am not going to spend a fortune on an avocado just to make your soup perfect."

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Be as bald as you can be.

Leaving a movie at Gallery Place:

Young man to friend: "You know what sucks about the military? You can't have hair. I used to have fucking great hair man."

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This is your news on drugs.

Train to Frederick from Union Station:

Older Man: "Have you read the most recent edition of the Onion?"
Older Woman #1: "What's that? You mean the green onion?"
Older Woman #2: "It's written by people on drugs Kathy, it's written by hippies."
Older Man: "Its Americas finest new source!"

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School Daze.

At The Container Store on Rockville Pike:

One frazzled mother asking another slightly-less-frazzled mother about items on child's school supply shopping list. Slightly-less-frazzled mother responds: "I only have one PhD. That's not enough to figure out these school supply lists."

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We'll bet Miss Teen South Carolina was at a debutante ball or two.

Sorority girls talking about a friend on the Woodley Park escalator:

Girl 1: "Well, I think she like, went to debutant balls and stuff growing up."
Girl 2: "You know a lot of those debutantes are Southern...but I think there are like normal people too."