Overheard in D.C.: The Girl With the Thorn in Her Side
As we head into the weekend, we'd like to make a small public service announcement. Though we've been enjoying unseasonably cool temperatures the past week, the heat is coming back, and we'll be back to our usual late August sweatbox by tomorrow. We realize that the heat and humidity can make you cranky and irritable. But we beseech you to try to keep your temper cooler than the air outside. We fully grant you your status as a badass, but you don't have to go around beating up guys who comment on your boyfriend's hairstyle to keep your street cred.
Quote of the Week
Wonderland Ballroom at closing time:
A man with hair similar (if not identical) to Morrissey's walks by a couple of guys.
Guy #1: "Hey, there goes Morrissey!"
Morrissey's girlfriend [screaming belligerently and sporting a black eye]: "Hey man, what the fuck!!! Do you wanna fight?? Why the hell are you disrespecting?"
Guys #1 & 2 [apologetically]: "No, no — you see, we're both huge Morrissey fans. We just wanted to see if your hair was inspired by him. Was it?"
Morrissey look-alike: "Yeah, kinda..."
After the jump, getting the hook up, restroom sorcery, and when you wish upon a fountain.
On the whistle of the wind you can almost hear some things that you should probably send our way at overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
------
Pick a standard. Now double it.
Morning rush hour Metro:
Teen girl: "I really want to talk to him about that. I know I've hooked up with 4 guys, but i'm really not that kind of a girl."
Teen guy: "Yeah, if I had the chance to hook up with 4 girls, I would have. But it's different cause you're a girl."
------
Some bladders open into the land of Narnia.
In the Men's room at a Nationals game:
Father: "Do you have to pee?"
5 year-old son: "No I don't."
Father: "Well maybe you should try."
Son: "No I don't need to go."
Father: "Well sometimes you have to try. Sometimes there's a magic pee."
------
Cynics are born, not made.
At the fountain in Dupont Circle, a father and his 8-year-old boy throw coins in, and then begin walking away:
Father [goodnaturedly]: "Don't tell me what you wished! I don't want to know."
Boy: "It's not going to come true anyway."
------
No man left behind.
Union Station Metro platform, ten senior citizens in matching Marine Corps baseball caps and toting Marine Corps paraphernalia scramble onto Metro at the last second:
Metro lady voice: "Bing-bong. Doors Closing."
Marine Vet #1: "Where’s Dave?"
Marine Vet #2: "Who knows."
Doors close. Train leaves.
------
And bro probably thought that was pretty clever, too.
Outside Banana Cafe in Eastern Market late Friday night:
Man to his two female companions: "I'm a bro. Not Has-bro. So don't play me like a toy."
------
When some people complain that their significant other never takes them anyplace nice, they mean it.
A group of guys were walking down F St. NE, just past Union Station:
First guy: "Hey, I fucked a bitch in that dumpster!"
Second guy, obviously weirded out: "What made you guys get in a dumpster?"
First guy: "Well, it was like, ten at night, you know? Or nine. Or seven. You know."
------
Lawn chair psychology.
In a backyard during a party in Columbia Heights:
Dude to female friend: "Of course you don't date nice guys! It'd mean you'd have to spread your legs for them!"