September 20, 2007
KFC Boldly Sends Letter to J. Lo
All of the DCist editors get hundreds of press releases every week, but Music Editor Amanda Mattos and I probably get more than most. We're always happy to receive information from publicists about events or stories affecting the D.C. metro area -- they often make our jobs easier, in fact.
But fairly often, we receive press releases that, to put it lightly, cause us to question the mental faculties of certain publicists. For months now, this has resulted in a personal competition between Amanda and I as to who has been sent the worst (or best?) press release every week. Be they totally irrelevant to our readers and what we cover, written in a tone so enthusiastic they could easily be converted to fodder for high school cheerleaders (the number of exclamation points is always a good indicator of this type), or occasionally, borderline insane, Amanda and I amuse ourselves regularly with what publicists think we ought to care about. And today, we thought it was high time we share some of the fun with you.
This won't be a regular feature in the sense that we'll post one on the same day every week, but look out for our new "We Get Press Releases" category for the next time we get one worth sharing. Below, our favorite press release of the week:
Thanks to Tom Lee for the photoshopped image of J. Lo enjoying some KFC
KFC Offers Afer-Party [sic] for Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony Tour!!!Here is a celebrity story that is QUICKLY gaining attention…
As you may know, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are soon to start their En Concierto tour and are also BIG fans of KFC! To return the favor and show them the high esteem that they have with The Colonel, KFC has sent an official letter to Jennifer Lopez inviting her to have a KFC After-Party at a nearby restaurant immediately following her concert performance.
On September 28, the couple will kick off their 13 city tour starting Atlantic City, NJ. JLo and Mr. Anthony, their entourage, and a few VIP guests are all invited to take KFC up on their offer and stop in at any of 13 KFC locations and fulfill their midnight cravings!
Below, please find the letter address to Ms. Lopez and the 13 stops on her tour/13 KFC locations where the after party could take place. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need additional information! Let’s PARTY!!!
OMG! KFC has sent Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony a letter!!! To be fair, one of the 13 KFCs listed at the bottom of the release is in the District of Columbia. But the idea that we'd run out and tell all of our readers to wait around this particular KFC branch after their concert at the Verizon Center is pretty ridiculous/awesome. Are we missing the irony involved in reprinting a press release for something we'd obviously never promote? Of course not. But that doesn't make it any less funny.
UPDATE: This is not the first stupid offer made to a celebrity by KFC.
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I get promo press releases like this all the time. They usually involve offers to "ADD THREE TERRIFYING INCHES TO YOUR WANG!" I'm still holding out for the one that will turn it green, put bolts in its neck, and flatten the top a la Frankenstein.
Excessive masturbation on a stormy St. Patrick's day is probably the trick. That or hooking up with a can of semi-dry green play doh with some screws mixed in. Good luck, monkeyerotica!
Just a nit:
It should be "a personal competition between Amanda and me."
Sorry, I'm extremely bored at work today.
Ah, the joys of being media. I wish the press releases I received were as entertaining.
Here's the part I loved: "To return the favor and show them the high esteem that they have with The Colonel..."
I'm a little bothered by this actually. Its one thing when a corporate entity slaps together a fictionalized creation for their advertising campaigns and all, but really, do the publicity flaks need to anthropomorphize it? Can a trademark even have _high esteem_ for J.Lo?
DCWhee, I think the creepiness of the Colonel comes from not being fictionalized. He's being forced to continue a zombie existence (in "cool" cartoon form) flacking his product years after his death.
Try act 3 of this "This American Life" show for "The true story of how a multinational chicken company turned a white man into a black man."
Wow, does PETA know J.Lo loves KFC? They already hate her for wearing/using fur in her clothing line.
I kinda like the Alton Brown "Feasting on Asphalt" bio of the Colonel.
This series has promise; Mocking flaks will never grow old. Even at thirty, people will trust and buy it...
Could be worse, KC. He could be a computer-generated lifelike animation like poor Orville Redenbacher.
Something about Colonel Sanders always creeped me out, like that guy on the Quaker Oats box. You think the Burger King is scary, take a long hard look at these guys.
When I buy Quaker Oats Masa Harina, I draw a mustache on the guy on the box.
Also, kudos to Tom for Photoshopping Jen's thighs, because cottage cheese and fried chicken do NOT go together.