Moms are great. Aside from birthing us, they wipe our mouths when we dribble food, wrap us up warm when it gets cold out, and give us Jell-O and ice cream when we're sick. For many years it seemed like mom and dad were the smartest people in the world, an Encyclopedia Familica. Usually they give us advice like cover your mouth when you cough, wash your hands after using the bathroom and useful stuff like that. But sometimes their advice is borderline awesome.

Quote of the Week

Halloween in AU Park:

Mother to Daughter, about 7 years old: "Honey, if I teach you just one thing in life, it's NEVER skip houses on Halloween."

After the jump, happy doggy time, train education, geography issues, and dumb questions to ask at a biker bar.

As always, Overheard in D.C. depends on you. We can only post the funny ones if you send us the funny ones. So keep listening and remember overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.

Photo by blugrn.

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Suddenly the psychiatry industry collapses.

At Hard Times Cafe in downtown Fairfax:

Diner: "I took a three hour lunch. Broke into my parents house and petted their dog for a while. It really made me feel better."

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In a related note, the Statue of Liberty is in Brooklyn.

At Union Station on Friday night.

A couple in line for a cab with the Capitol building in plain view.

Guy: "Where is downtown?"
Girl: "It's where Capitol Hill is."

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Moron costumes are the easiest.

At a bar in Adams Morgan on unofficial Halloween.

Two bikers (actual bikers, the leather jackets aren't costumes) are near the bar, and they are communicating in sign language. A twenty-something girl walks up to the bar, next to the biker that can hear, who also looks like one of the guys from ZZ Top.

Girl: "Oh, wow. Those are great costumes. What are you guys supposed to be, bikers?"
Bearded biker turns to the other biker and signs something to him. The other signs back, as girl watches.
Girl: "Oh. You're deaf bikers?"

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Mom continues to know best.

On the Orange line stopped at Rosslyn.

The train is already packed to capacity and the doors are about to open.

Mom to three young sons: "Okay, kids. You're about to see a great example of adults misbehaving. Now turn your attention to the door, please."

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Don't judge a book until you've seen its booty.

At the Drag Race:

Two gay guys checking out the Drag Queens after the race:

Guy #1: "Who would want a photo with her?"
Guy #2: "Oh, I know."
(Queen turns around)
Guy #1: "Oh, that's why."
Guy #2: "Nice ass."

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Does this cell phone make me look fat?

Heard while walking down the escalator to the platform at McPherson Square station:

A petite, twentysomething young woman on her cell phone: "Why, how much do you think I weigh?"

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Giving dangerous chemicals to kids: fun for everyone!

At the Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro Stop after a Capitals game:

Mid to late 20s female talking to about same age male waiting for the train. Both are wearing Capitals t-shirts and clearly never met before. Guy looks interested in girl and follows with general small talk.

Girl: "Yeah, I am a total Capitals fan, but love the Seahawks too."
Guy: "Oh, why?"
Girl: "I grew up in Seattle, so you know."
Guy: "Really, I am from Montana."
Girl: "Really, where is that on the map?" (pause for dumbfounded look to appear on everyone hearing her) "I majored in chemistry and am not real good with maps."
Guy: "Uh, it's like, you know..."(holding up his hand in a feeble attempt at a visual aid) "Washington, Idaho, and then Montana."

Later in the conversation:

Guy: "So I assume you came to the game straight from work?" (pointing to her t-shirt and skirt with dress shoes).
Girl: "Yeah, I am a high school teacher and went to dinner before the game."
Guy: snidely "So you teach science?"