Redskins Pummel Cowboys Into Paste, Make Playoffs

A month ago, the Washington Redskins needed to win out the rest of their season and receive a ton of help from the rest of the NFC in order to make the playoffs. And it needed to start in the short week between a Sunday's loss to Buffalo and a Thursday night game with Chicago. And then it needed to start after Sean Taylor's funeral. And then it needed to continue despite losing starting quarterback Jason Campbell. And lastly, it needed to include three more victories over teams with playoff aspirations. Two of them on the road.

And it all happened. Coming into yesterdays game with rival Dallas, they had gotten the wins they needed. The teams which had the inside track to the final wild-card spot a month ago had all taken a dive. And a guy who hadn't earned a start at quarterback in ten years - for whom one-sixth of his career pass attempts have come in the past four weeks - had become one of the hottest players in the league. But best of all, while there were any number of favorable scenarios that would have let the Redskins back into the playoffs (all of which came to pass anyway), Washington instead went out yesterday afternoon and took the last playoff spot in emphatic fashion.

I'm not sure it's possible to evaluate a football defense that same way you do a major league pitcher, but yesterday, the Washington defenders played about as perfect a game as one can. They allowed a single yard of rushing, folks — an all-time historic low for the Cowboys — and were seemingly always in the Dallas backfield. They forced Dallas off the field on every single third down. In three trips inside the red zone, they allowed only two field goals. Basically, if you're a fan of good team defense, you would have loved the Redskins effort. And if you're a fan of Redskins defense, you probably tried to find a way to bang the Redskins effort, and, later, maybe even spoon.

On the offensive side of the ball, after a few dodgy fumbles, things went pretty much according to Hoyle. Clinton Portis ran for two scores — the first of which, by the way, was a tackle-shrugging-off thing of beauty. Collins played a smooth, confident game — why, several of his incompletions were so beautiful that the refs took several long, lingering looks at them. And - I swear this is true - just as I was thinking, "You know, this ass-whupping has been awesome and all, but it's time we just put a button on this thing and get our playoffs on," Collins dropped back, looked down field and hit Santana Moss in stride for the frosting.

So guess what, Bostonist? The A-Hole Patriots Ran Up The Score On Us Revenge Tour of 2008 is a go. First stop Seattle, where we'll take on a Seahawks team that gave up 44 points to the Chris Redman-led Atlanta Falcons.

And to everyone who might be thinking that Washington only won because our opponent had little to play for, was resting its starters, was without T.O., et cetera, we'll say only this: See you in two weeks, jerks!