January 23, 2008
Fairfax County School Administrator's Wife vs. 'Snotty-nosed Kid' Who Uses YouTube
If you caught the morning network news shows or read this Washington Post story detailing the whole affair, then you may already know the story of Devraj "Dave" S. Kori, a senior at Lake Braddock Secondary School in Fairfax County, who called the school system's administrator at home last week to give him a hard time about not declaring a snow day. Kori found a number for Dean Tistadt, chief operating officer for the county system, listed in the phone book, and decided to call to ask why he had not closed the schools after about three inches of snow fell near Burke, Va. What he got in return was an angry voicemail, posted to YouTube above, from Tistadt's wife.
Take a listen to the audio clip and let us know what you think (we've also transcribed the message below the jump). Did Mrs. Tistadt go off the rails, or is her outrage pretty minimal considering a student called her house to harass her husband? At least one teacher we talked to says he would have had the same reaction had a student placed an unsolicited call to his house. No doubt Kori, being a 17 year-old boy, thought he was being pretty clever by calling the Tistadt home, but it was hardly an appropriate thing to do. Then again, Mrs. Tistadt probably should have realized that voicemail is forever, and maybe given herself some time to calm down before deciding to leave a message with that much anger in it.
This is Candy Tistadt, Dean Tistadt's wife. This message is for Dave Kori. How dare you call us at home?! If you've got a problem with going to school, you do not call somebody's house and complain about it. My husband was up at 4 o'clock this morning, trying to decide the best thing to do, to send you to school, on a day when the weather man is calling for one thing and another thing happens. You don't begin to know what you are talking about, and don't you ever call here again! My husband has been at the office since 6:30 this morning, so don't you even suggest that he purposely didn't answer his phone. He is out almost every single night of the week at meetings for snotty-nosed little brats, and he may not have called you but it is not because he's home because it snowed. Get over it kid, and go to school. Get an education, that's what you're there for.
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Plenty of kids have school when it snows.
That seems pretty tame to me. I was expecting some F bombs.
Yeah kids should just go to damn school. NYC hardly ever closes school unless it's over 6 inches of snow. And NYC makes HS kids takes public transit instead of school buses to get to school. So I have no sympathy for "snotty-nosed kids" in Burke, VA.
You don't like it? Or your parents think it's unsafe for you to go? Then don't go. It's that simple. It's high school, not the military.
i dont think the issue is whether he should have gone to school (which i think they should have, i went to a school where we pretty much never got snow days, because there was no busing), but whether she was inappropriate in calling him. i'm pretty confident that she WAS inappropriate...she just should have ignored the kid. by reacting that was she is just as dumb as the kid is. and i'm sure the snotty nosed brat things will be pretty damaging to her husband.
It wasn't the husband that called. His wife was pissed off and probably, the husband didn't even hear the message or know she called back. If the kid wants to call someone at home, then the I see no expectation that he should get a professional response or even that the administrator would be the one to hear the message.
I don't see a problem here, and her response was not really all that bad. He deserved it and I see no reason there should be blowback. Sure, she could have ignored the call, but when he called their HOME there is no longer any professional obligation. It amounts to a harassing phone call and he got called out, so what.
Wow. What. A. Bitch.
I'd be a bit peeved if some kid called my house, but it comes with the territory. Kids can be smart and can use the phone book just like anyone else. If she didn't want phone calls from students, their number should be unlisted.
Her words and demeanor indicate a larger problem at home as she expresses displeasure with the fact her husband is out every night for school business. It sounds like she's not too happy with his work schedule.
"Her words and demeanor indicate a larger problem at home as she expresses displeasure with the fact her husband is out every night for school business. It sounds like she's not too happy with his work schedule."
Come on, seriously? It was pretty clear to me that her point was her husband works his butt off for the kids and all he can think about is not getting a snow day. Kid's a spoiled brat.
I dunno. If I'm a school administrator (or any other public figure, for that matter) who doesn't want people calling my house, I'd be pretty sure my number isn't made public, or in the phone book, whitepages.com, or whatever.
That's just my two cents. Otherwise, realize kids are going to get your home number and take it worth a grain of salt (pun intended).
"If she didn't want phone calls from students, their number should be unlisted."
Exactly. There is no right to not be called. Yes, there is a right to not be harassed/threatened, but I disagree with the Fairfax PR guy. One phone call is not harassment, and simply calling a public official at home does not constitute harassment.
The response after the VM was posted online, however, was harassment. The student should not have posted the number.. it was listed, after all.
I would've done the same thing as Mrs. Tistadt. Sure, she probably should've kept her cool, but that kid was way out of line calling their home, and then posting this a private voicemail on youtube. There is absoslutely NO excuse for the kind of rudeness he is displaying here. He had only one purpose in mind and that is to shame and ridicule the Tistadts. He's just a straight out punk, and should be suspended!
If that kid really had a legitimate issue with having to go to school in snow, he should've called the OFFICE not the administrator's home. What that kid did was the same as making a harassing phone call. No wonder the wife was angry. She was NOT being a bitch...she was being protective of her husband. Nothing wrong with that.
So kids should just behave and that's it? This kid had it coming to him? Maybe... but I admire his use of conventional means to harrass school officials.
Seriously, why are kids so derided these days for raging against the machine or defying authority? I did it back in my day and it not only provided amusement, but sometimes it got officials to wake up and smell their or decisions.
I think this is more funny than shocking, but I've never been one to tell kids they have to behave all the time. If they behaved all the time, they'd be robots and not kids.
More power to her, frankly...
"It was pretty clear to me that her point was her husband works his butt off for the kids and all he can think about is not getting a snow day. Kid's a spoiled brat."
The kid's a kid. Cmon. What kid (or adult) doesn't think snow days are the best thing in life?
"If that kid really had a legitimate issue with having to go to school in snow, he should've called the OFFICE not the administrator's home."
He did call the office first.
Demonfafa, I totally agree with you. I mean, the kid called a phone number that was listed in the phone book. Big deal. And it did sound like Mrs. Tistadt was a little more angry than she needed to be, so maybe she is bothered by her husband's work schedule and the message from the kid set her over the top.
I'd be curious to see the ago breakdown in people who think the kid deserved it or that the lady was out of line. Personally I think it was the latter.
I mean the age breakdown, not ago breakdown.
This is kind of hard to judge without knowing what exactly the kid said, but I certainly wouldn't be surprised that a High School Senior from Fairfax County was in fact a snotty nosed brat in the message he left. Either way, it is silly to expect people who don't know you not to call you if your number is listed in the phone book, and if doing so is harassment as someone above indicated, then maybe we shouldn't have phone books or at least remove the personal numbers. And for her to react like this, to me, does indicate anger issues. To let a snotty nosed brat (whether he was or not, she felt he was) get this reaction out of you his handing him the 'win'. All in all, I'd say both of their actions were poor, however, she *is* the adult in the situation.
"I mean, the kid called a phone number that was listed in the phone book. Big deal."
Absolutely. No law was broken. But a code of conduct was. So, by the same token as it's OK for him to call her and harass their family at home, she had just as much right to call him back, and tell him what's what. I don't make any judgment as to whether it was the best response, but it was well within her rights if you think it was within his to call them.
Do you really think the only reason we shouldn't bug people at home about professional matters is because their number's not listed? Why should the code of social conduct depend only on how easily a number is available? That's crap. He crossed the line.
"it's OK for him to call her and harass their family at home"
We don't know what he actually said, so I'm not sure we can say he was harassing their family.
I don't disagree that it was within her rights to respond the way she did. I just think it was stupid.
He's a 17 year old kid. She's the adult and the wife of a school administrator. You'd think she'd have enough sense not react by leaving a ranting, "name-calling" message. That made her seem like the 17 year old in the siutation.
That's all I'm saying.
Candy Tistadt: You're my hero.
As for the kid: Posting a video on YouTube of an angry phone message. How subversive and clever. Really. I mean it.
And the other kids quoted in the Post article yapping about how someone finally stuck up for them and their right to free speech. i'm still laughing at that one.
(And the most annoying part is that the kid's parents are probably BESIDE themselves that someone would dare yell at their poor defenseless child, who was only expressing his disappointment that he couldn't spend the day sitting on his ass playing video games and updating his myspace page. and now he'll never ever ever get over his new-found fear of leaving voice messages. boo hoo.)
I still think snow days are the best thing ever. Some of my most creative thinking is done in early mornings when I wake up to flurries or just to predictions of flurries. "How does this preclude me from going to the office today?"
"That made her seem like the 17 year old in the siutation."
Like you said, we don't know what he actually said. But I don't even think it matters. You think she seems like the 17-year old? She didn't post his message on youtube.
The kid called their home. She called her back. Fine, that was a personal matter. The only reason anyone cares about this is because the kid decided to take a PERSONAL voice mail message and publish it on the internet. That is WAY worse than whatever either of them might have said.
I have a couple of issues with this case:
If one were to ask Mr. Kori or any of his HS senior classmates last week if they should be considered an adult or a child, they would quickly stress their adult status and maturity. Now that this situation is all over the news, he's a child and Mrs. Tisdadt is the only adult at fault. I think she lost her cool and said regrettable things in an exceedingly frustrating situation, but I think that this kid needs a reality check. What gives him the right to call someone's home to complain about a decision they made on the job? Is he going to call his boss's house to complain about not cancelling work in 10 years?
Also, I don't really buy the "rage against the machine" comment from earlier. Many students have protested, rallied, and opened eyes on many important issues in the past. This, however, is a NON-issue. Mr. Kori was mad that he had to go to school even though it snowed. This isn't some political movement... this is laziness and entitlement.
Consider Mr. Tisdadt's situation: he gets angry phone calls to his office when the superintendent cancels school, and angry phone calls when they don't. It's not a fun job, I imagine.
"Seriously, why are kids so derided these days for raging against the machine or defying authority?"
Let's not go overboard here. The kid wasn't complaining about an unfair dress code or having his article censored from the school paper. He was getting bent out of shape about not getting a snow day when there was three inches of snow on the ground. That's not raging against the machine, that's being a whiny brat.
You want to know why so many kids are derided for defying authority? Because of kids like this, who make the ones with legitimate beefs look like spoiled whiners. Defiance isn't an end, it's a means.
Was she out of line? Sure, she should have hit delete and moved on with her life. But that doesn't mean the kid didn't have it coming to him.
1) This is probably the least important important thing going on in this region/the world today.
2) That being said, I can't help but comment on how amazing it is that so many have taken the opportunity to applaud the complete lack of civility on both sides of this situation. Should the kid have called an administrator at home? Probably not. Should the wife have called the kid back to "tell him what's what." Probably not.
When did it become acceptable in our society to respond to every small act of disrepect we receive with condescension and anger? Whatever happened to letting it go and moving on? Who appointed all of us Hall Monitors of the World?
Its another example of how the Jerry Springer mentality has messed a lot of us up and convinced us that "eye for an eye", or worse, is a good moral system. Instead, I think its one worth rexamining.
Mrs. Tisdadt's real crime here was being stupid enough to leave her rant on a voice mail; that's like sending your boss/co-worker/subordinate an angry e-mail, you're just asking for trouble because that thing will quickly develop legs. If you don't want people posting your angry ramblings on YouTube, then don't allow your angry ramblings to be recorded.
The kid was a whiny brat for complaining about not getting a snow day, but he was working within the system and used the tools at his disposal to fight back as he saw fit. Tisdadt was correct for giving the kid some credit for not taking the easy road and posting anonymously.
I call this a draw.
"This is probably the least important thing going on in this region/the world today."
This is probably the most douchebag comment going on in all the blogs today.
I've worked for a public official before, and I'd have to say that one person calling a local public official's listed home phone number after not being able to reach them at the office is at worst a minor breach of propriety.
What's more, if I were working for a public official, and a constituent had called me at home and there was a recording of me responding like Mrs. Tisdale, I would have been reprimanded or fired. It wouldn't matter how much the other person deserved it, and in this case we don't even know what Kori's message for Tisdale said, or how it sounded.
That said, Kori should not have posted the Tisdales' home number, even if it was a matter of public record. Posting the work number would have been sufficient to make the point; posting the home number just encouraged harassment.
Here's an interesting thing to think about...
In the state of Virginia, it's legal to tape a phone call (obviously, since this is a voice mail).
HOWEVER, it *might* be illegal to disclose the content of it.
It's conceivable that he broke the law in posting the voice mail on YouTube. (Though I doubt anyone would actually go after him on those grounds).
MAJOR *yawn*age. You guys really care that much about this? Pretty silly stuff.
"The only reason anyone cares about this is because the kid decided to take a PERSONAL voice mail message and publish it on the internet. That is WAY worse than whatever either of them might have said."
Says you. When it comes down to it, the code you keep referring to is really more of a guideline. Expecting other people to abide by it is silly.
"When did it become acceptable in our society to respond to every small act of disrepect we receive with condescension and anger? Its another example of how the Jerry Springer mentality has messed a lot of us up and convinced us that "eye for an eye", or worse, is a good moral system. Instead, I think its one worth rexamining."
QFT
I'd like to hear exactly what the kid said. I've read what he says he said on their machine, but I'd like to hear it/read a transcript. My guess is the kid wasn't as calm and innocent as he's saying he was.
When you leave a message, you are obviously consenting to the recording. Once you consent to the recording, there is no restriction on what can be done with that recording. There is no legal issue here.
Looks like we have a tie in this, the 127th Annual Upper Class Twit of the Year Show. There certainly will be a lot of car door slamming in Burke tonight!
The rudeness, pettyness, and ignorance of people will never cease to amaze me. Any day now, I expect to walk into work and see people pooping in the sink and wiping their butts on the drapes.
Principal's wife was out of line for leaving the message. Sure, I bet she was pissed off at the kid for his whiny message. But she should have just ignored it.
And the kid is a dickwad for publishing the number online, for releasing the audio, and for his snotty-ass quotes in the story.
Memo to Kori: You are now in the Googlesphere. Your potential college admissions officers may decide to Google you. They will find this prank. They may decide to take some other kid rather than you. Live by the Internets, die by the Internets.
Any day now, I expect to walk into work and see people pooping in the sink and wiping their butts on the drapes.
It's going on, but you probably just haven't been there early or late enough to see it.
"Looks like we have a tie in this, the 127th Annual Upper Class Twit of the Year Show."
I haven't seen anyone involved who has met the extremely high standards for Upper Class Twit of the Year. (btw, nice No Time Toulouse ref last week).
And now it's on CNN's main page:
Wife's angry voicemail becomes Internet hit
"Memo to Kori: You are now in the Googlesphere. Your potential college admissions officers may decide to Google you. They will find this prank. They may decide to take some other kid rather than you. Live by the Internets, die by the Internets."
Yeah, a-goddamn-men to that. College admissions officers or potential future employers.
Also:
"Any day now, I expect to walk into work and see people pooping in the sink and wiping their butts on the drapes."
That ... would befit a monkey, wouldn't it?
Yeah, a-goddamn-men to that. College admissions officers or potential future employers.
I have a feeling that Kori's 3.977 GPA and extracurriculars will go a long way toward allaying the concerns of college admissions officers, and nobody will care about what he did in high school when he gets around to applying for jobs post-college.
***When you leave a message, you are obviously consenting to the recording. Once you consent to the recording, there is no restriction on what can be done with that recording. There is no legal issue here.****
Not necessarily true. Virginia law does NOT allow one to divulge contents from a recorded phone conversation without the consent of the other party.
Read up: VA Code 19.2.62 C
It's a class 1 misdemeanor.