February 20, 2008
Morning Roundup: Light Snow, Heavy Scamming
Good morning, Washington. There were some more primaries last night, and the magic of timezones means that even the dedicated may not yet have heard the results: Senator Obama picked up wins in Wisconsin and Hawaii, giving him a run of ten straight victories since Super Tuesday. John McCain also continued his all-but-mathematically-assured march to the Republican nomination, winning comfortable victories in Wisconsin and Washington. Next on the schedule: Ohio and Texas, which hold their primary contests in two weeks and could potentially be decisive for the Democrats.
Snow No!: The Capital Weather Gang is predicting that some wintery precipitation will begin around 10 a.m., with total accumulations measuring under an inch. It doesn't sound like anything to get worried about, but it may make lunchtime and your evening commute less pleasant than usual.
Even More D.C. Tax Scandal News: By now you've read the phrase "Tax Scandal Widens" so many times that it's probably lost all of its meaning. Unfortunately, it's applicable yet again: the Post is reporting that the conspiracy to steal from District taxpayers is now thought to reach the $50 million mark and to date back twenty years. The article also details more of accused ringleader Harriette Walters' outrageous spending habits.
Former Cop Testifies In Delivery Shooting: Keith Washington, the former P.G. cop who shot two furniture delivery men in his home in January 2007 and killed one of them, has begun presenting his defense. As NBC4 reports Washington says that the delivery men attacked him, and that he fired in self-defense. The prosecution has maintained that the shooting was unprovoked and in keeping with Washington's history of aggressive outbursts — although the victim's testimony was recently impugned by allegations of drug use.
Briefly Noted: Montgomery County aims to stop GPS thefts... Monday's drive-by shooting was gang-related... Empty school bus involved in fatal crash in P.G. County... Police impersonator sought in Arlington... Prince William County empties rainy day fund to start up anti-illegal immigrant program...
This Day In DCist: One year ago we welcomed Tony Kornheiser back to the airwaves and watched as XM and Sirius announced they would try to merge. Two years ago Tom Sherwood was getting irritated by Ralph Nader.
Image posted to DCist Photos by Flickr user bjackrian
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the conspiracy to steal from District taxpayers is now thought to reach the $50 million mark and to date back twenty years.
Just as Count Dukoo predicted! [hack! cough!] You lose, General Gandhi! [hucks spear through window, climbs into escape pod] Time to abandon ship!
You know what I never got about the Jedi - they're supposed to be all-knowing and all that. Yet they're dealing with a Sith Lord, and they're totally clueless about it. WTF? Maybe the Force is not strong with them after all. Maybe they're hacks. But don't their Spidey Senses get all tingly when they're hanging around Palpatine?
The Force was also apparently not so strong with Gandhi. Although how in the heck did everyone in that office not know about the scam? There must have been an incredible amount of willful blindness in that office to not notice all the cash and bling being tossed around by two mid-level employees.
Walters repeatedly lent huge chunks of cash to colleagues with no requests for repayment, the two sources quoted witnesses as saying
Um, then it's not really "lending" is it? Then again, this is not much different from what banks were doing the last couple of years with home loans.
Cranky, the Force is a funny thing. It took Vader a while to figure out Luke was his son, and he didn't even know he had a daughter until the end of Return of the Jedi. Sure, there are few loopholes here and there. Like Yoda. What's his deal. Hobbles around with a cane most of the time, but then when it comes time to kick some ass he goes all Jet Li on us.
So Walters was basically pulling this scam 20 out of her 25 years on the job? Nice.
Good point about Vader not realizing Luke was his spawn.
So the Force is super-duper helpful to the Jedi and Sith. Except when it's not, thereby allowing major plot developments to unfold.
It took her 5 years to get going, pshh, in my interview I committed to a life of white collar crime within 3 years. The new administration is all about speed.
Not all the Jedi were clueless. Kenobi "has a bad feeling about this," from the beginning ("It's not about the mission, Master, it's somethging...elsewhere...elusive"). But you'd figure that since Sith lords always end up getting whacked by their apprentices, maybe they'd pick dumber, less ambitious apprentices, which I guess is what Harriet Walters ended up doing. Still, throwing cash around left and right for years makes about as much sense as hiding Anakin's kids ON ANAKIN'S HOME PLANET, but there it is. In both cases, you've got serious plausibility and dialog problems.
Sure, there are few loopholes here and there. Like Yoda. What's his deal. Hobbles around with a cane most of the time, but then when it comes time to kick some ass he goes all Jet Li on us.
Yoda was in his late 800s during the clone wars, hobbling would appropriate for this stage in his life. He is also described as one of the most powerful jedi, some of the most basic force powers include jumping and speed.
So the Force is super-duper helpful to the Jedi and Sith.
Except when it's not, thereby allowing major plot developments to unfold.
The thing you need to remember about Star Wars is that Lucas was making up the whole thing as he went along. He claims that he had all the movies mapped out in the late '70s and if you believe that than you probably also believed Henriette Walters inherited a windfall from the Virgin Islands when she was taking coworkers on four figure shopping sprees..
'Wow, Henny, instead of spending all of this on us interns, why don't you quit your job?'
And finally: no medal for Chewie at the end of the first movie? This is why I could never get behind the rebels.
Has anybody written about any correlation between this scam and how much property taxes have risen over the last 5-10 years? With so much of DC property untaxable (Fed. Govt, World Bank, Fannie Mae, etc), there's a lot for the average homeowner to make up.
And now this.
Still, throwing cash around left and right for years makes about as much sense as hiding Anakin's kids ON ANAKIN'S HOME PLANET
No, on Anakin's home planet and with Anakin's stepbrother. While making no attempt to hide. And having the sprat keep his last name. Imagine the Christmas cards...
Darth Vader sat down in his favorite easy chair with a mug of mulled cider to open his Christmas package from his stepbrother's family. With his force powers, he was able to compel the tightly-sealed cardboard box to betray its secret, a tin of homemade pfefferneuse, which the Sith Lord opened and left on the end table. Munching a few cookies with his cider, Vader read his sister-in-law's letter.
It's been another wonderful year at the Lars family homestead for me and for Owen and for Luke Skywalker...
"Curses!" Vader put down the letter and finished off a pfefferneuse without tasting it. "Owen and Beru may not be feared throughout the galaxy, but they've been granted the pleasure of seeing a young boy grow up, a pleasure forever denied to me unless I can somehow find my son, who Obi-Wan Kenobi has somehow hidden from discovery by the best spies in the galaxy!" Taking a sip of cider, Vader picked up the letter and continued reading.
Luke has grown into quite the young man, always wanting to go into Toshi Station to pick up some power converters, but he does manage to make time to visit old Ben Kenobi next door...
Vader slammed the letter back onto the end table, causing the pfefferneuse to jump within the tin. Why, his own son would be just the same age as Luke Skywalker now! He should be working with his son in the garage right now, not hearing about someone else's stepson hanging out with old Ben Kenobi, whoever that might be. Damn the now-elderly Obi-Wan Kenobi's devious soul!
Good point as well about the Sith always getting whacked by their #2s. It's not a very good long-term business plan to be a Sith Lord. Unless you whack your apprentice before he whacks you, and then you get some dopier apprentice to do your dirty work, and then whack him before he gets the upper hand.
It must have been tough and stressful being a Sith Lord. You're always on the lookout for your peeps to turn on you. Unlike being an OTR embezzler.
cminus - How's Vader eating them pfefferneuse and sipping that cider? IV drip? Suppositories?
I know, I know. You find my lack of faith...disturbing.
cminus - How's Vader eating them pfefferneuse and sipping that cider? IV drip? Suppositories?
Christmas miracle. Force powers. I didn't mention it in the story, but Vader is in the meditation chamber from The Empire Strikes Back where Admiral Piett walked in on the Sith Lord without his helmet. A wizard did it.
boondoggle: Honestly, why didn't she just throw a few million into an offshore bank account and move somewhere that doesn't have extradition agreements with the United States? If I were so morally bankrupt as to steal millions of dollars of other people's money over the course of decades (which, frankly, I'm not), I'd surely cook up a way to ultimately safeguard my ill-gotten gains while never having to face any responsibility for it.
I was going to snark on this Star Wars thread, but I'll let Triumph the Insult Dog do the magic instead.
Note: The video I linked to is 10 minutes long. May want to wear headphones if in an office.
So lessee. $50 million dollars divided by a population of 588,000 gives us...hmmm...carry the two...that's $95.78 for every resident in DC. Hell, that won't even cover a meal at The Source or cover my monthly Carlo Rossi bill.
I feel a great disturbance in the Force. As if half a million taxpayers cried out in terror and suddenly demanded refunds.
There must have been an incredible amount of willful blindness in that office to not notice all the cash and bling being tossed around by two mid-level employees.
I dunno Crank, there are very strong social prohibitions about discussing people's personal finances. So if someone gives some sort of (even remotely) plausible reason for their financial situation we're generally obliged to act like it's the gospel truth. In this case Walters said she had inherited a large sum of money, so who's going to say that she's lying?
Does anyone know why there were 20-30 fire trucks, ambulances, etc heading from Washington Circle toward Georgetown on K Street last night between 5:30 and 7 p.m.?
boondoggle,
Chewie got a medal, but he was too tall for Leia to put it on him, so he just got it handed to him. For details, see Wookiepedia.
way to nerd it up people! I bet some of you have been dying to bring up Star Wars in the comment thread for a long time. In fact, I'm surprised it took this long.
I dunno Hillrat. I think the scheme became too big and went on for too long for everyone to just accept the line that she had inherited money. Of course, had OTR had any actual audits instead of the craptastic ones they had, the scheme would have been revealed like the Sith Lords. I just can't fathom the notion that all the OTR employees who dealt with the Dynamic Duo were really that stupid and mindless (sort of like the Storm Troopers in Star Wars IV-VI; how did they de-evolve into such bad shooters, when the original Clones were such badasses?).
I'm keeping it nerded up fo' shizzle.
The clone trooper retardation factor comes down to problems of genetics and mutation. To make an alteration in the evolvement of an organic life system is fatal. A coding sequence can't be revised once it's established. Because by the second day of incubation any cells that have undergone reversion mutation give rise to revertant colonies -- like rats leaving a sinking ship. E.M.S. recombination? We've already tried it – ethyl methane sulfonate is an alkylating agent and a potent mutagen – it created a virus so lethal the subject was destroyed before we left the table. A repressor protein that blocks the operating cells wouldn't obstruct replication, but it does give rise to an error in replication so that the newly formed DNA strand carries a mutation and you've got a virus again... but all this is academic...they are made as well as we could make them. But not to last.
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long. And by Episode V, the troopers were complete burnouts. He picks up a gasket in the middle of the Dune Sea and says, “Look! Droids!” WTF? These guys built an Empire? It’s almost as bad as nobody in the tax office noticing that we’re a couple million light this month.
Way to bring it back to the OTR topic!