Overheard in D.C.: NKOTB!
You never know about folks. Maybe that nice grandma down the street listens to death metal, or that punk-looking kid who hangs out on the corner is a classical violinist. There's the clichés, like "you can't judge a book by its cover," and stuff like that, which of course conflict with stuff like, "you never get a second chance to make a first impression."
And sometimes people are just hilarious. You should have seen that Tiffany show at Camp Victory.
Overheard of the Week
Monday morning at work:
Two guy co-workers, tough ex-military types, just finished talking about the Giants vs. the Patriots.
Co-worker 1: "Hey, did you hear the big news?"
Co-worker 2: "Yeah! New Kids on the Block are going on tour!"
Co-worker 1: "Yeah!"
After the jump, learning to beg, Pier One sex parties, and geometry.
Keep the overheards coming, overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com
Photo by grundlepuck
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Ahh, privacy
Sunday afternoon on a crowded 92 bus:
Man's phone rings, he answers. "Yeah honey, I'm alone."
(Long pause, during which the lady's loud voice is clearly discernible. He looks around.)
"Baby, you know when you gotta share something personal with me ain't nobody listening."
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It's more of an art than a science.
Outside Union Station last Saturday:
An older panhandler instructing a younger panhandler, after giving him his own begging cup.
"Make sure you use the limp, don't forget the limp, it really works!!"
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This is why D.C. people give Virginia people a lot of crap.
At work:
Coworker from Virginia, after his first trip to Eastern Market: "The fire at Eastern Market only did half the job[...] I find a better selection at Costco than I did there."
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Do they sell really big beds at Pier One?
By the Pier One on Connecticut Ave. north of the Metro
Two men, mid-20s to early 30s, both holding brown paper bags with liquor.
Guy 1: "Yeah, I'm into foursomes now."
Guy 2: "Really!?!"
Guy 1: "Yeah, I mean if one person backs out you still have a threesome and if two people back out, man, I'm still having sex!!"
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At least she knows somebody is Mormon, we guess.
On P Street:
Mid-20s woman on her cell: "Yeah, I know. But McCain's not Mormon, right?"
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The possibilities for cactus penis jokes are endless.
At Nick's Bar & Grill in Alexandria:
A group of drunk, college-aged girls have brought a giant inflatable cactus with them to the bar. They're in the small women's restroom with the cactus.
Drunk girl #1 (holding & stroking cactus): "This cactus reminds me of my ex-boyfriend..."
Drunk girl #2: "Why? ...because it's prickly?"
Drunk girl #3: (contemplative): "No...because of its length and girth..."
Thirty minutes later the girls were kicked out of the bar for hitting other patrons over the head with the cactus.
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Kids, don't have one night stands in cars.
Late Friday night on Wisconsin Avenue in Georgetown:
Yelled from a car window: "You forgot your pants!"
Everyone on the sidewalk was fully clothed.
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They should party with the shit-the-bed guy from last week
Two girls, early 20s, waiting for the Red Line towards Shady Grove:
Girl 1: "She said she didn't want to go out with me because she would have to watch me, keep me from drinking too much, look after my drinks, take care of me when I got too drunk, hold my hair, clean up my puke, put me to bed..."
Girl 2: "I mean c'mon, it was your fucking birthday!"
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"I personally believe that U.S. Americans..."
On a flight from Dulles to Providence:
There's a mother and two kids, the son about 5 or 6.
Mom to son: "Do you know what body of water that is?"
Son: "Yes."
Mom: "No you don't."
Son: "Yes, I DO!"
Mom: What is it then?
Son: "The Atlantic."
Mom: "Oh, my gosh – I can't believe you know that! Did you learn that in geometry?"
Son: (silent)
Mom: "I always did well in geometry, when I was young too."
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And finally, the winner of last week's contest, what did the kid do with his finger, goes to indiecognition:
Stink-fingered gang signs, probably...although I have a question: was he talking about the fingers that grew on his hands, or did he chop them off other people? In the case of the latter, he was probably just using them as shoehorns.