March 6, 2008
D.C. Handgun Ban Roundup
With the March 18 hearing before the U.S. Supreme Court on the constitutionality of the D.C. gun ban fast approaching, there's been a lot of news we've missed.
Supremes to Release Audio: While the publicity-phobic Supreme Court has never been much of a fan of making its hearings more easily accessible to the American people, the justices have announced that they will make recordings of the proceedings available on the same day they hear the case. According to the court, arguments are set to begin at 10 a.m., with each side having 30 minutes to state their case and the federal government having 15 minutes to offer its opinions. That means that by 2 p.m. the media will have the recordings; by 3 p.m. they'll be online; and by 3:30 p.m. someone will have put Antonin Scalia's condemnation of gun control to the tune of The Beatles' "Happiness is a Warm Gun."
D.C. Council Scrambles for Seating: While the public is allowed to sit in on Supreme Court hearings, seating is limited, cannot be reserved, and goes fast. And since this may well be the case to overturn 70 years of standing precedent on the Second Amendment, well, you can imagine how many people want in on the action. (We propose a shootout for seating.) Members of the D.C. Council are no exception, according to WTOP's Mark Segraves. Writing on his blog, Segraves tells of how at a February 28 council breakfast our esteemed representatives spent more time trying to score entry to the court than they did quizzing city officials on a projected $96 million hole in the budget. Well, at least they're not fighting over Hannah Montana tickets, right?
For Inquiring Legal Minds, Here's Your Fix: If you're looking for anything and everything related to the case, look no further than a blog set up by the lawyers trying to overturn the city's gun laws. The blog includes legal commentary, a FAQ section, and links to every filing to date. We'll give a free T-shirt to the DCist reader who tells us why the Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership want D.C.'s gun laws struck down and why Linguistics Professors want them upheld.
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i think the reasoning behind "jews for preservation of firearms" wanting a law banning handgun ownership struck down is pretty self explanatory, isn't it? just because they are jews doesn't mean they can't be gun nuts too.
the linguistics professors tried to explain what the wording and placement of the commas in the amendment would have meant to the original drafters when they were writing it, and, therefore, what the Court -- and especially the "original intent" crowd -- should read the amendment to mean. linguistics professors can use their expertise to further causes based on their political leanings, can't they?
Curses! Foiled again!
*****The Professors of Linguistics and English argue that under the rules of grammar understood and recognized at the time it was drafted,the Second Amendment grants individuals a right to keep arms but only in support of their service in the organized militia. *****
Super, I have just officially started the Glover Park Militia. We shall hold regular meetings at Good Guys, shall conduct drills at Dumbarton Oaks, and will conduct target practice at the community gardens at Tunlaw and 42nd st. Now, may I have my military issue .45, please? Thank you.
BTW: In starting this militia, I can only observe that this can't be any less entertaining than kickball.
Clearly a marriage of military issue guns and kickball is only a matter of time.
Makes getting picked last seem less of a concern..
What was that comment thread a couple of days ago that dcist readers aren't nerds?
Why not a cannon that shots kickballs? Perhaps, at(thru? whatever linguists!) the opposing team?