April 4, 2008
For Area Blogger, Brunch At Kramerbooks Becomes Distressing Sartrian Ordeal
For some, "Hell is other people," but for one local blogger, hell is just one person: the maitre d' at Kramerbooks & Afterwords, who governed over last Sunday's brunchtime with a haughty manner and a tendency toward "psychological abuse." There were snippy quips over bathroom tokens, for example, and memories that seem to have been remembered in German. But the whole matter ended up taking an existential turn for the worse:
I also heard Herr Säuglingsmörder berating several other patrons, notably someone who missed their name being called. The patron tried to insist that he had been in the store the whole time, but Lord Testicalshredder at his little podium of power called him out for having a Starbucks cup in his hand - BUSTED! But something Yelly McImpatient said to the now-indicted customer struck me:Lest you think it is an exaggeration to suggest that this whole experience describes a headlong descent into the void of a Stygian netherworld, know this: there was also freak-folk music being played. Saints preserve us, now, and in the hour of our brunch."You can’t leave the store! You can’t leave the store!!!"
My god, I thought, he’s right! You can’t leave! That’s what they’re doing here! They are amassing bodies in this bookstore - for what? To harvest their body heat for energy for Testy Von Why-Am-I-40-Years-Old-And-Shouting-”Party-of-Three”-For-A-Living to devour? To muster a great hipster army bedecked in vintage tees?
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Their food isn't worth the wait.
In this crazy, mixed-up world of moral relativism and known unknowns, it's kinda comforting to know that you'll always be treated like something the cat dragged in at Kramerbooks. Crappy food, crappier service, KMart selection at boutique prices...it's a Douche-pont Circle trifecta.
It ain't called Kramits for nothing...
He's just now having this experience? Welcome to DC. I would list my Dupont brunch spots but I don't want them to turn into Kramerbooks.
Oddly enough...the flip side of that....when you arrive and they say..."Sit anywhere"... then never come to take your order.
You guys must be hurting for stories just a bit.
I mean, I know its Friday, and everyone's checked out mentally, but really, hasn't the dicky Matre 'D/waiter/busboy/fluffer bit been done to death? As it is, I've just come to assume that assholery is common in the Dissedtrick, no matter where ya go. Though Kramer at 3am is a wonderful place to be, I might add.
dcwhee: i think you fail to appreciate that none of us are here for the news. check out nbc4.com if you want more news and less snark...