April 28, 2008
What's That You Say?
What's happening out there in comment-land? After another soggy weekend, it may dishearten you to know that we're slated for much of the same for at least the beginning of this week. But don't worry, all that means is that you can stay dry inside, cuddle up close to your keyboards, and keep pounding out those oh-so-witty remarks that we love you for.
It's been duly noted that we here at What's That You Say? are big fans of pandering. Yup, we'll totally be the first ones to admit that we've included comments because they suck up to things or places that we like - or us, for that matter. In that vein, this week's Comment of the Week comes from OldNameWontWinUsernameOfTheWeek, who had a really good week, cramming the threads with astute observations such as the following, regarding the possibility of a meter installation extension for cabbies:
There should be a taxi frequent rider program where you get points for each dollar you spend that can be spent on upgrades. Like, a seat that you don't stick to in the summer: 100 points. The ability to call a cab that comes within 2 hours during non-peak times: 150 points. They could exchange with Amtrak Guest Rewards so I could succeed in having hundreds of thousands of the most worthless points ever. Every ride in a cab that doesn't have a meter is a $1000 fine to the city and a 1000 point fine to the rider. Effective May 1.
Of course, this wasn't the award he or she was aiming for, but hopefully the honor will be enough.
After the jump, we've got a new Harris Teeter (w00t!), hate crimes in Georgetown (anti-w00t), and "Chevy Chase switched over to panicking yell-into-the-mic-to-take-cover" (guh, w00t? I guess?).
Photo by philliefan99.
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New urban grocery stores, FTW!
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The Nats opened up their parking garages, and of course you had a great deal of postulates about why and what effects the action could have.
OldPosterKnownAsCranky thinks that it's simply a matter of the Lerner's bottom line:
The Nats really do seem to have a major problem on their hands: way too few people are paying for the privilege of parking in their garages and lots. I'm sure the Lerners had fancy spreadsheets showing projections of parking usage and the profits. And those spreadsheets would apparently now be useless since their projections are way off. Whether this continues into the season would seem to depend on whether the Nats continue to suck. But if I'm the Lerners, I've gotta be quite nervous about attendance being lower than projected and parking revenue also being lower than expected. The Lerners are all about the bottom line. If that bottom line is too low, then I have no doubt they will start making cuts in stadium expenses.
Though Reid sees it as an issue indicative of larger problems:
I think it probably has less to do with the pro-Metro campaign and more to do with the fact that nobody's going to the games, period. At this point, I imagine the Nationals would consider encouraging people to double park on South Capitol St. if it would get more people to show up.
I hope this apparent lack of enthusiasm is just a product of a crappy team and unseasonably cold weather, but I can't help but think it's a product of a more fundamental problem, i.e. this town can't support a baseball team.
McGillicuddy applied some interesting economic metrics for the valet parking prices:
valet parking for $50 plus tip. incredible.
that's 50 packs of ramen noodles. 5 meals at five guys. 2 1/2 lap dances.
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Nobody - not even our crack commenters - really seems to know exactly how much of a deficit Prince William's County is carrying.
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MetroPerforms! is coming back for another year of random productions at your neighborhood station. dupont drone does not want:
Oh it is all fun and games unless you work in an office building above a metro station. I wish my windows opened so I could throw things. There are only so many times I can hear "Girl from Impanema" in one day.
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Hopefully, you had your say on which new Metro flooring you prefer, but of course, nothing would stop you guys from suggesting your very own ideas.
RJ:
Why not clear plexi glass...honestly what would be more fun than that!
Why don't they cover the floor with advertisements and raise money so Metro can actually make improvements that matter to me.
and then OldNameWontWinUsernameOfTheWeek, pulling off the rare double-feature week:
I heard they were going to get rid of the old "train" format anyway and install huge pneumatic tubes where the tracks currently run. It'll be just like going to the credit union, except a friendly metro employee will be jamming you in a little plastic bullet off to your spot. The interiors will be Nora, in grey specks that will turn out to be thumbprint ads for the LOC on closer inspection.
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The DCist password is: hate crime. Ready...go!
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Last Sunday's monsoon-like weather (not to be confused with yesterday's simply rainy-like weather) put a dent in the concert festivities on the National Mall, but, as redline noted, the lightning wasn't really the most frightening aspect of the experience:
A lot of the Earth Day concert still happened and it was mostly nice until Tom Freidman was cut short by lightening hitting one of the Smithsonian buildings and Chevy Chase switched over to panicking yell-into-the-mic-to-take-cover and people started screaming and running. Excellent crowd control, I have to say...
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The idea of an elephantine new restaurant in Bloomingdale raised a lot of comments about the capacity of developing neighborhoods to foster such zealous retail proposals.
jm67 is (very fairly) skeptical:
Yeah, I live near there. It'd be nice to have a sit-down restaurant, but a comfy place with a few tables and a fireplace... not this wacked-out Martini bar on steroids. I suspect that, like all other plans in the 'hood, it will sit in limbo for 4-5 years and then be abandoned to some other scheme.
while IMGoph thinks that the concept just needs some scaling back:
if i had the money, i would put a restaurant/bar right here in the middle of bloomingdale. we have a perfect spot for one (on the corner of 1st and seaton), with huge amounts of space for outside seating, but it just sits there.
the argonaut is what i use as an example of the kind of place that could do well here. ok, not just well, it would be a money-making machine. the closest place for all of us in bloomingdale and eckington to go to to sit down and have a beer is either nellie's on u street or kelly's irish times down by union station. there is a black hole of neighborhood-serving bars in the city, and we could fill that quite successfully here.
and Bethesdaist just wants some skeeball!
"That is one mouthful for a name. Wood-oven pizza AND sushi? Ok."
....and a pasta bar, and a coffee house, and tapas. How about they try one type of cuisine and do that well, before going all Vegas buffet spectacular with their plans?
Although I would like it if they added skeeball to the mix. Fire, water, and skeeball is a winning concept.
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Most of you seemed to agree - Metro's month of madness was handled pretty well, but you're not quite ready to hand out a report card of all As.
(Also of importance: Cranky, we here at What's That You Say? love you, man.)
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And as always, let's wrap it up with some well deserved awards.
A lot of tough competition for the Avatar Award for Achievement in Avatars this go round, folks. We had a few solid candidates, but in the end, we went with notyou, whose expressive 100 by 100 rendering of the Awakening is just the sort of thing that we like to see. Keep up the precise art of the very, very tiny canvas, people, and this could be your reward.
Oh, and kippers, that's just frightening.
This week's Username of the Week goes to Meganomics, who utilizes the always-popular "assimilate your name into an already existing word to create a pun" technique. Congratulations.
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are monkey's comments becoming so commonplace that they don't warrant a mention here?
i fear that future anthropologists won't understand the importance of certain things in our civilization if we don't recognize their importance today!
But so many of monkey's comments are stellar, how do you pick the best, IMGoph?
And how can you pick one monkey comment?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
IMGoph: To be fair, we could do a What's That Monkey Said? every week with the amount of solid material that Mr. Rotica produces, but we usually like to spread the love out amongst everyone else who comments around these parts.
ME, don't worry, we don't forget about you. We're well aware that you're pretty much commenter emeritus around here (as someone suggested last week). We hope you don't mind sharing the limelight.
That said, if anyone's interested in reading something funny Monkey said last week, just, you know, open up anything that has comments on it.
Man, there's just so much love going on in this thread. I'm deeply touched... down there. And like the song says, "Love will keep us together." Or was that "Love will tear us apart?" Anyway, what's love got to do with it? What the hell were we talking about? Have I told you about my condition? I can't make new memories.
A guy on a cellphone near me in some store on Saturday:
"Yeah, I know. That's the new excuse. It used to be that everyone was a victim. Now everyone is mentally ill."
Group hug y'all!
Except for Monkey. His hugs have an odd habit of lasting a little too long.
and he likes to leave damp spots.
*shudder*
Who is monkeyrotica?
It's killing me.
His name is Robert Paulson.
let's just say that, when the time is right, the great monkey will rise out of the pumpkin patch, and we will all be led down the bright path towards enlightenment.
omg i LOVE that picture. although reminds me that time when i was four and a duck bit my left pinkie....
You may as well ask "Who is John Galt?" Or John G. for that matter.
Monkeyrotica, who aids the forces of law and order, is in reality Lamont Cranston, wealthy young chimp-about-town. Years ago in the mysterious Orient (read "Guam brothel"), Cranston learned a strange and mysterious secret, the hypnotic power to cloud men's minds so they cannot see him. Cranston's friend and companion, the lovely Margot Lane, is the only person who knows to whom the voice of the Monkey belongs.
In today's drama, we discover that Maryland Day has an evil twin, and that for all these years the Old Line State has had the wrong State tree.
oh, and i have a crush on monkey
"Who is Monkeyrotica?" Is this a question? You will show him that you remember that he is Mr. Monkeyrotica, and you will remind him who *you* are. Well, you know where he is. Go, confront the problem. Fight! Win!
There is a lotta love being thrown around today, friends!
You know what the worst part is? Now I can't gloat to my friends that I've finally arrived. If I go back to my old username I'll have lost all of the cred I've come by, if I crassly announce my old(e) username people will mock my previous entries, but if I stay with this one I'll inevitably forget what it is when I clear my firefox login info. Good thing the password is the same as my luggage: 12345.
Who is monkeyrotica?
It's killing me.
There were no screams. There was no time.
The mountain called Monkey had spoken.
There was only fire.
And then, nothing.
Monkeyrotica is little bird tweeting in a meadow.
Monkeyrotica is a garland of pretty flowers, that smell bad
Are your circuits registering properly? Your ears are green.
He's in front of you when your back is turned, peeing in your face and telling you it's raining.
He's on the menu on the table, he's the knife, and he's the waiter.
bethesdaist: wow, is that a gorillaz reference?