DCist: Morning Roundup: Dulles Rail from Beyond the Veil

monkeyrotica

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:45:44 -0500

Relax. Your precious Michiganders are safe...for now. Prayer really does change things. I prayed for a dead squirrel by the side of the road and it came back to life. Then it told me, "Go! Kill for the love of killing! Kill for the love of Kali!" And I said, "Around here, young man, we use a little word called 'please.'"

IMGoph

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:31:04 -0500

oh, shoot. guess i should actually read stuff, huh? i just recognized wilx as a call letters of the nbc station in lansing (where i went to school)

monkeyrotica

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:24:33 -0500

Goph - It's a Michigan website, but the gas praying folks are doing their thing in DC.

hillrat

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:19:41 -0500

Did someone hack Monkey's account or is the spice affecting his linking skilz? He could just be scared; after all, fear is the mind killer.

IMGoph

Fri, 02 May 2008 09:13:40 -0500

why would it have to be people from back home? why?? thank you so much, michigan, for living up to your potential...

monkeyrotica

Fri, 02 May 2008 08:47:02 -0500

They're praying at the pumps, y'alls. http://www.wilx.com/news/headlines/18062644.html Just as Count Dookoo predicted!

blittle

Fri, 02 May 2008 08:31:48 -0500

Did someone hack Monkey's account or is the spice affecting his linking skilz?

monkeyrotica

Fri, 02 May 2008 06:05:26 -0500

Okay, this is funny, but ">this is scary. You read it here first, folks. And how is this possible? For he is the Qusiatz Haderach! We Fremen have a saying, "God made DC to test the faithful. You cannot go against the will of God."

monkeyrotica

Fri, 02 May 2008 06:03:55 -0500

Okay, this is funny, but ">this is scary. You read it here first, folks. And how is this possible? For he is the Quisatz Haderach! We Fremen have a saying, "God made DC to test the faithful. You cannot go against the will of God."

mumtaz

Thu, 01 May 2008 12:41:34 -0500

I don't understand all this anti-Ira Glass sentiment here on DCist. What did Ira ever do to you?

voteprime

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:10:45 -0500

Speaking of ads on DCist, are we ever again going to be able to comment on the "About Tonight" posts? I promise I won't bad mouth Toyota. I love Toyota. Some of my best friends are Toyotas!

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:47:37 -0500

Ira Glass strikes me as the kinda guy who would break out weeping after sex, then ask you if he was better than Ira Flatow.

flapjack

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:15:18 -0500

A blessed vehicle used to live up the street from me. Jesus didn't keep his ass from getting kicked to the curb when he stopped paying the rent.

miss bee

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 15:13:28 -0500

rat - he's got specs-appeal. har... har...

hillrat

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:48:27 -0500

@mumtaz, mellbell, miss bee What is attractive about this Glass guy?

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:36:58 -0500

Why do I see the jeebus Escalade crowd performing perfunctory exorcisms on the gas pump? Splashing Super Big Gulps full of Sprite all over the credit card swip and screaming, "The power of Christ compels you to stay under $4 a gallon! Help me, lawd! Help me!" Then they start rolling all over the ground testifying and having conniption fits. Makes one long for the simple pleasures of handling snakes and drinking strichnine.

robot_agenda

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:11:51 -0500

@Reid who could possibly turn down the awesomeness of Applebee's? i would so be there but i dont fit in with actual palette and no SUV for curbside pickup

ibc

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:10:14 -0500

"Of course by then, you're probably too busy being chased by an angry mob of Escalade drivers with pitchforks." Any attempt to raise the price of gasoline will be offset by the "Pray At The Pump" efforts of MD churchgoers with pearlescent Escalades and Yukon XL's. These are blessed vehicles, as attested by their personalized license plates with messages like "FMGOD2ME" or "PRAZ4JSUS" . "$3.80 a gallon? Oh! Jesu! Why hast thou forsaken us!"

miss bee

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:00:41 -0500

i'm on the ira = dreamy side of the table, too. way better than those american apparel chicks.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:52:05 -0500

He's the thinking woman's John Mayer, who is, in turn, the retarded woman's John Cusack.

mellbell

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 13:30:02 -0500

I agree with mumtaz -- he is strangely hot.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:53:25 -0500

Ira Glass is why gun's are illegal in DC. Aye, but they're still legal in DC/MD, y'know? Ya hear that, Ira, me mate! You tell him. You tell him I'm f***ing COMING!

voteprime

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:36:06 -0500

Three days ago, or whenever this This American Life ad first appeared, I was kind of excited by the idea of the show. Now I'd like to shoot the show in the face. Not just Ira Glass, but the whole show. I don't even know what that means, but I will do my best to figure out how to make it happen.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 12:28:26 -0500

With the overwhelming success of the STFU Jim Graham Fund, can we roll that extra cash over to a Donkey Punch Ira Glass in the Taint Fund? If so, please put me down for a contribution of $100.

Bethesdaist

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:48:29 -0500

Problem solved: put up some ads with Ira Glass wearing American Apparel tights and sporting some NPR camel toe. Call the ads "This American Apparel."

Nate

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:15:06 -0500

Another unusual side effect of the TAL ads is that if you pull a menu down over one to click on another bookmark, you can really easily ALSO click on the ad without meaning to, so you go to the new site you've selected but also kick open a new window or tab. And since for some reason the Showtime cable network's web site falls into the "Intimate Apparel/Swimsuit" category in my organization's new firewall/content-blocking software, every time I accidentally click the ad I get a new, big blue window with a warning on it. Good thing I'm friends with the IT guy . . .

blittle

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:05:40 -0500

Yeah rats would be a problem especially if we contracted doozers to build the tunnels. Then again we don't want the children to be scared off by the homeless in the tunnels nom-noming on the walls.

OldPosterKnownAsCranky

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:48:43 -0500

With Firefox, I sorta feel left out of the complaints about pop-up ads. And no doubt tunneling in downtown would be expensive, but wouldn't it be worth it in the long run? Currently, any time a sick passenger is offloaded a train, the entire line shuts down b/c trains have to single-track around the affected station. If we had more than one track each way, this could be avoided. This would also allow for express lines (although that would be a fun battle to figure out which stations would be avoided). And how about a more simple tunneling project: Build a walkway from Gallery Place to Metro Center and another one from Farragut North to Farragut West.

mumtaz

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:46:03 -0500

Actually seeing Ira Glass' spectacled face when I open DCist every morning really turns me on. It adds a nice little pep to my day. Ooooo Ira...

adamsmorgan

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:44:33 -0500

It's not Fraggles, Morlocks, etc. that need to concern you about new tunnels for Metro, it's something worse...RATS! The rat problem was out of control when the green line was being constructed/expanded....

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:42:00 -0500

Bring back the American Apparel cameltoe ads! I'll take stiff nipples over Ira Glass's wangster pan any day.

Xtena

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:37:09 -0500

reid - thanks for making me laugh out lout this early

hungeegirl

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:35:01 -0500

it's better than those horrible toyota ads which crashed my computer every time i tried to load the dcist.

hillrat

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:15:09 -0500

Speaking of horrible pop-up ads, how about getting rid of that asinine This American Life ad at the top of every screen on THIS site, which takes the top quarter of my browser window hostage if I inadvertently mouse over it. Agreed. Seeing Ira Glass' smug face awakens my inner meathead and I feel an almost uncontrollable urge to stuff someone in a locker.

the_heckle

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:06:53 -0500

the heckle: run-on sentence much?

HCE

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:06:43 -0500

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:05:46 -0500

I can't believe the Tysons tunnel crowd doesn't have a Plan B lawsuit sitting on their lawyers' shelf. I predict the imminent discovery of a rare protected species of dwarf troglodyte who only lives in the direct path of Metro trains in Tysons. Disturbing their nesting place would ruin their habitat and violate the Endangered Species Act. They also work for Booze Allen Hamilton and drive Escalades.

the_heckle

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:03:41 -0500

Monkey and Cranky: I don't think you've fully explored the flip side of the possible Balrog/Morlock release: Fraggles. I assume that adding tunnels is currently cost-prohibitive, but does anyone know if WMATA talks with DDOT, WASA, and PEPCO to see if there is anyway to time downtown service improvements with the eventual need to tear up downtown streets to make utility upgrades.

MikeB

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:55:42 -0500

It's probably a negotiating ploy by Kaine. A lot of the quotes in the article make it sound like gas tax opponents would be willing to give NoVa a bit more money somehow in exchange for Kaine dropping the idea of raising the gas tax. Oh, and what's the over/under for the Tyson's tunnel advocates re-filing their lawsuit? I say 36 hours.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:52:27 -0500

Cranky - I agree, but added Metro capacity and improved maintenence would primarily benefit residents at the core, not at the fringe. That's the demographic that Kaine needs to suck up to. And my understanding that adding more tunnels downtown is cost prohibitive: there's A LOT more crap that needs to be re-routed (sewer/water/gas lines, electrical and fiber optic conduits, etc) than there was back in 1970. Morlocks and Balrogs are just a myth parents use to scare children, like the boogie man or Michael Jackson. I'm far more concerned about awakening the Elder Gods or even the Advanced Supersonic Aluminum Nazi Hell Creatures from Beneath the Hollow Earth. Those guys floss their "teeth" with commuter entrails.

Reid

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:48:12 -0500

Virginians will not be happy until there is a 6 lane highway from each of their brick split level ramblers to their office park consulting jobs and back, with an exit each for Applebee's, the Relaxed Fit Dockers warehouse, and another Applebee's. Of course, as long as I'm in the stereotyping game, I'll point out that District residents won't be happy until there are three Harris Teeters between their decrepit group house and their unpaid internship at Save the Baby Fruit Flies of East Madagascar.

drew in adams morgan

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:33:48 -0500

RE: Gas Tax, I think the gas tax should be raised in Virginia. It was last touched 22 years ago, which seems like an awfully long time. I don't know why though they didn't think to touch it back in 1999, when the gallon of gas was hovering around $1.00/gallon. That would've made the most sense. RE: PW Immigration: I love the logic used by DCist to give NBC4 the benefit of the doubt over the Washington Times. Hysterical! Made my morning.

OldPosterKnownAsCranky

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:32:47 -0500

Kaine is going to get clobbered for advocating a gas take hike when gas prices are already sky high and when the economy stinks. As for the Dulles extension, I think those gazillions of dollars would be better spent improving the existing Metro system by expanding capacity and constructing more underground tubes (so long as we don't dig too deep to unleash the Morlocks or the Balrogs).

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:20:46 -0500

But the revenues from the tax aren't going to public transit. They're going to repair roads and bridges in Virginia. Fix the roads, more people drive on them, they complain about all the people driving on them, they build more roads and bridges that fall apart, then they have to fix the roads, so they raise taxes, rinse, lather, repeat.

IMGoph

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:19:11 -0500

this morning's weather needs to be bottled up and sold. it was a perfect morning for biking to work. too bad we can't have a lot more of this before it starts getting muggy.

TimmyTucker

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 09:13:15 -0500

I agree that a 3-to-5 cent increase likely won't force drivers off the road. But if this extra revenue helps fund new or improved public transportation, then it could eventually coax them not to drive, rather than forcing. Either way, I think it's a step in the right direction...a reasonable tax increase that will do some good, without being laughed off the table in the legislature.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 08:43:28 -0500

I don't see a 3-to-5-cent-per-gallon tax increase getting people to take public transit. Make it 35 cents per gallon and then you're talking. Of course by then, you're probably too busy being chased by an angry mob of Escalade drivers with pitchforks.