May 8, 2008
Outdoor Ping-Pong at Comet is Dead
Last summer we posted this video, which was put together by ANC 3F04 Commissioner Frank Winstead in an attempt to frighten his upper Northwest neighbors into doing something about the terrible scourge of the outdoor ping-pong table at Comet Ping Pong on Connecticut Ave. Many of our commenters laughed off Winstead's scaremongering, wondering why an ANC commissioner would want to come down hard on one of the only interesting new businesses to open in the neighborhood in some time.
But Marc Fisher reports the sad news in his column today that Winstead has finally won. The outdoor ping-pong table outside Comet has been removed, thanks to some political maneuvering by Winstead, who appears to have leveraged the outdoor table issue against Comet owner James Alefantis, who is hoping to obtain a permit for outdoor seating.
Leave your eulogies for outdoor ping-pong in the comments.
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I'm curious to drive past Winstead's house. Ten bucks says he's outside in a wifebeater, khaki shorts, knee socks and flip flops, sitting in a lawn chair with a broom yelling at kids to get off his lawn and stop skateboarding on the sidewalk.
Um, how about foosball?
Since I missed the opportunity to comment last year, I would like to submit my laughter now.
"Does ball go in traffic, often?"
"Does ANC Commissioner have life, ever?"
There are two great threats to public safety in DC: public pingpong, and slipping on vomit outside Jumbo Slice, and the cheeseburger at American City Diner. THREE threats to public safety: pingpong, vomit, the cheeseburger at American City diner, and idling busses. FOUR threats to public safety: pingpong, vomit...
I believe Winstead and He Who Shall Not Be Named are buddies. That about says it all right there.
Winstead also went around taking pictures of Mary Cheh's car for being parked on a hill, and not turning her wheels correctly.
Dude has some issues with too much free time and too much anal retentiveness.
the only sport that i enjoy which involves a pingpong ball usually takes place in a dark room in China and Thailand.
table tennis is for sissies. pocket pool is where it's at.
I don't know if anyone lives near Comet, but I imagine that living next to ourdoor ping pong would be pretty annoying. They just opened outdoor patio seating next to my house, and it's pretty annoying even without drunken shouting about ping pong.
dcdolly, I'm pretty sure it's in the middle of a commercial block (near a corner, but not at it), and that it's not exactly a wild party area. It practically makes Van Ness seem thrilling.
Comet is on a block of commercial businesses. I really don't think there are houses close enough to hear the ping-pong table over the general traffic of Connecticut Avenue.
Plus, wasn't this more of a pulibc safety than noise issue?
Doesn't Winstead pose a threat to DC residents as a walking, breathing douchebag?
hurrah for the litigious society, winning out over all!
i pray that mr. winstead not EVER come close to violating some inane regulation at his abode, lest the DCRA gods come and smite him on the spot.
meanie...
Its sad to see it go. I was wondering where it went. I take the bus past there everyday and it was kinda nice to see people playing on nice days.
The problem when you live in a city full of wonks is that everything is so G.D. wonkish. The man clearly has too much free time on his hands.
I especially love the tone of Fisher's piece. It's absolutely hysterical.
Comet is a few yards away from Politics and Prose. There's no residences nearby (closest is diagonal and north across Nebraska Ave). I think Winstead's issues are: 1) safety (although I don't recall hearing about any ping-pong-related accidents); and 2) legal procedure (b/c Comet never got a public space permit since they relied on the city telling them they didn't need one since the table was simply advertising).
What is annoying is that the ping pong table did not impede movement on the sidewalk, was a creative way to attract business, and was enjoyed by people. If there had been a rash of idiots rushing into moving traffic to retrieve their ping-pong ball, that would have been one thing. But there wasn't. If the tables blocked all movement on the sidewalk, that would have been a problem. But it didn't. If the table had been a gross violation of the public space, that would be an issue. But it wasn't.
you know, i would be on the "this is ridiculous" side of things if i hadn't already seen a couple of drunk people run into connecticut ave. after a pink pong ball without looking to see if a metro bus was approaching...
^^^ But how is Darwin supposed to get any work done if we keep impeding on the natural process???
Winstead = Wanker
Can someone run against him? Seriously.
Q. Is possible to ask another rhetorical and grammatically incomplete question?
A.) I can haz cheezbrgr!
In all seriousness, I was rummaging through the trash cans in ANC 3F04 last week and found the following document:
Evil Plan
1.) outlaw ping pong
2.) steal lollipops from neighborhood toddlers
3.) prohibit consenting adults from visiting adult-themed sites from the comfort of their homes.
4.) outlaw Judaism and/or Tutsis in ANC
Too soon?
Starting tomorrow, I will be broadcasting the audio track from Balls of Fury at 85 decibels outside Winstead's house from 6 AM until 9 AM.
Until that is no longer legal, anyway.
Wow, how pathetic, is that really his biggest concern? Can you image how much time he's wasted trying to fight it.... wow
Dude has some issues with too much free time and too much anal retentiveness.
Pretty much sums up most ANC commissioners. The ANC is a great idea in theory, but often bad in practice.
Unfortunately, just by showing up you can get "elected" to many of these spots (some go unfilled indefinitely).
jamie: f'in brilliant!
The best part of the video is the closing credits...."Copyright 2007, All Rights Reserved, Frank Winstead"....worried about copyright infringement for this? really??
the words "all rights reserved" mean absolutely nothing legally
Winstead needs to be shoved in his locker after being given a weggie. And I don't say that lightly.
Uh oh, people. We have a dork.
And I mean no ordinary dork, who collects lunch boxes or Supreme Court bobble heads.
Folks, we have . . . a HAM radio enthusiast.
And, more telling, on the spectrum of dorkiness for HAM radio operators, we're talking a megadork. How bad, you ask?
His youtube video collection includes innumerable "amateur radio exam prep" videos with snippets of information on wave propagation, frequency, range and the like.
Folks, this is no ordinary Buttinsky, but a professional Pencil Neck. Exercise extreme caution around this individual. And for Christ's sake don't mention science fiction!!!!
OK.. maybe I have too much time on my hands, but for some extraordinary hilarity, check out "Forest Hills Frank's" Flickr photostream!!!
Some of my absolute faves...
Janney School Runoff - spotlighting a damp patch from watering sprinklers, Frank wonders: "Does all this water undermine the retaining wall between Janney School and the old Tenley Library?" ROFL!! I wonder how he can sleep at night knowing that it also rains sometimes...
UPS Driver Jaywalking! Alert the national guard! Yes... We should expect UPS drivers to find legal parking for every delivery, and walk 500 feet to the next crosswalk (and back) in order to make a delivery on the other side of the street.
A large number of pics of Mary Cheh (including her car without the wheels turned to the curb, the humanity!). Obviously, Frank, who's profile indicates he is single, has a secret crush on Ms. Cheh. I only regret that he posted no pictures of himself so we can confirm the rumors of his pencil-neckedness.
This guy would have loooved that old Nike commercial with Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi playing tennis in the middle of Manhattan. Probably sends a bad message to the kiddies.
Unbeknownst to all of you, Frank Winstead has been filming all of your libelous comments here (made without a permit, no less). Not only will he de-friend you on Facebook, YouTube, Flickr, and Yelp; but consider yourselves BANISHED from the upper stretches of Connecticut Ave. Of course, the approximately 17km hike from the nearest Metro station might have taken care of that before the ANC ruled against your sorry avatar.
Clearly, the DC gun ban having solved our city's phenomenal homicide rate, it's only fit that the powers that be turn to solve the only remaining problem that weighs so heavily upon us.