May 13, 2008
Morning Roundup: Breathe Easy Edition
Good morning, Washington. The sun has come out once again after an impressive storm left four inches of rain behind across the metro area. The Washington Post is declaring that, thanks this latest bout of rainfall, our 11-month drought is over. That's good news, as is the news for allergy sufferers in the city, at least in the short-term: rain like this usually reduces tree pollen counts by washing it away, thus reducing allergy symptoms, although over the longterm it can also increase the growth of grass and eventually produce more pollen.
Cigarette and Property Transfer Taxes to Increase: The Post says that the D.C. Council looks set to increase taxes on cigarettes (by $1 a pack) and property transfers to make up a $35 million budget shortfall. The deal would maintain most of Mayor Fenty's priorities in his $5.7 billion spending plan for fiscal 2009, with some key exceptions, such as scuttling plans to reopen Klingle Rd., and moving some funds from the police department's budget to give small businesses property-tax relief.
Lottery Contract on Council Agenda: The Examiner reports that D.C. Council Chair Vincent Gray has agreed to put the pending D.C. lottery contract on today’s agenda, despite his vocal objections to the proposed deal. Gray is believed to have enough votes to stop a potential deal with W2I, composed of international lottery firm Intralot and W2Tech, a local start-up owned by Alaka Williams and her husband, Warren Williams Jr. Warren Williams used to own the controversial Club U, and the pair are reportedly in business with Sinclair Skinner, a college friend of Mayor Adrian Fenty.
Briefly Noted: Baby girl born on the Beltway ... D.C. students plan a walkout next week to protest school closures ... The Red Cross might move some workers out of D.C. to N.Va. ... Former Barry adviser sued for more than $1 million in owed taxes ... Fairfax County shelves a report that grades students by race.
This Day in DCist: In 2005, free wireless internet on the National Mall was on the table and the D.C. Council was holding hearings on funding the new baseball stadium.
Photo by Brian Knight Photography
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I don't think a student "walkout" will go very far. Some of those kids are so huge, they can barely walk at all.
The childhood obesity problem in DC is really getting out of hand. Just yesterday, I overheard the following conversation take place between two gravity-challenged kids in McDonalds:
"Han, mah bukee, keel-ee caleya ku kah. Wanta dah moole-rah? Wonkee chee sa crispa con Greedo?"
"Bantha poo doo! Huh! Huh! Huh!"
sinclair skinner, eh? why do i feel like some unsavory connection between that guy and someone else is going to get tied to our mayor somewhere down the line and be the thing that sinks his career?
I'm so glad the post interviewed experts for their "end of drought" article.
I suppose Fenty's going to break his pledge not to raise taxes in order to keep his word and support school modernization. Policy-wise it sounds like a good decision...
Intralot is a gambling company owned by Greek tycoon Socrates Kokkalis, who was accused of espionage, money laundering, fraud, embezzlement, and bribery. He was acquitted by a jury composed of animatronic marionettes from the Disneyland Country Bear Jamboree.
This guy is still a piker compared to our very own Mayor-for-Life. Who says old-timey Barry-era cronyism, nepotism, and corruption is dead? There aren't any old times. When times are gone, they're not old, they're dead. There aren't any times but new times!
I hear ya IMGoph. Before I was convinced of Fenty's goo-goo credentials, I was really concerned about Skinner. Since the election he's stayed pretty quiet, as far as I know at least. I assume he's still pretty high-profile along Georgia Avenue, but Fenty seems to have kept his distance.
And speak for yourself about the pollen. Us grass-folk get hammered after a heavy rain.
And huzzah about Klingle Road. Watching the public roundtable that Graham held last week convinved me that it shouldn't be reopened. I used to think those advocating the reopening were making some sort of a class/race based argument (i.e. look at those rich white people trying to keep us out of their neighborhood). But now I realize that most of the arguments were just your good old-fashioned "gee if only there were another lane open, all this traffic would magically disappear. What's a Induced Demand?"
That lottery contract has 'future federal indictment' written all over it.
The Final Battle of Klingle Road should be fun to watch. I say either open it or close it, but frickin' do something about it. What's left of the road is a total mess and there's broken sewer pipes leaking water. It's astounding that the city hasn't done anything with that road for more than a decade.
But, if the city is going to close the road, then it should do so the right way - with a hearing on closing the road, just like it holds hearings on alley closures. And some Klingleon can correct me, but wasn't the transfer of that road to the city contingent on it being a public roadway? If the city closes the road, does that mean the road's ownership would be transfered back to the Klingle decedents, assuming there are any around?
Weren't the Klingles wiped out in the last Star Trek movie? "Stark Trek 6: The Search for More Money"
Heresy! The last remaining Klingles trapped on Uranus were eventually wiped out by the USS Charmin in a daring front-to-back maneuver.
Heresy! The last remaining Klingles trapped on Uranus were eventually wiped out by the USS Charmin in a daring front-to-back maneuver.
Semper fudge, brave sirs.
Sorry to point this out, Cranky, but I can't help myself. The Klingle decedents probably don't have much use for the land, being that they're dead and all. The Klingle descendants, on the other hand, might be interested.
A plane crashes on the Canada/U.S. border. Where are the survivors buried?
I'm hoping the Last Battle of Klingle Road reenactors will show up in full costume.
Man, the Last March of the Ents ain't got nuthin on the Battle of Klingle Road. You can count on the Lorax to lead the attack, along with the killer tree monsters from "From Hell It Came."
I'd show up and roast smores, but the trees would probably take offense.
DodgeCityDave: You just think they are dead. You don't know what those Klinglons are capable of.
If W2Tech gets the lottery contract, will they let Sinclair Skinner do the arts design for new games? Because scratch-off games with his racist cartoons of Jim Graham drawings would be highly collectible.
"A plane crashes on the Canada/U.S. border. Where are the survivors buried?"
The trick's on you! There's a little known provision in the Treat of Ghent that provides that any survivors of a plane crash on the Canada/U.S. border will be buried up to their noses on the banks of the St. Lawrence river until they agree that there's no "U" in the word color.
Fifty-Four Forty or Fight!
look out for the klingle dingleberries!
I say we just let the pro-road and anti-road factions slaughter eachother, then dcist can move in and turn the area into a German beer garden and artisinal cheese shop. It'll be just like Yojimbo, only with more pretzels and farting.
Either way, I don't want to be anywhere near Klingle Road when those pissed-off trees show up in black leather, blaring kraut techno, and screaming, "We gonna f*** you up, Lebowski!"
Do you like clening my klingle-berries Brian? Yes, Yes, say, "I like cleaning your klingle-berries, Stewie."
Hah! Don't forget the taint.
I agree whole-heartedly with this editorial in Saturday's Washington Post re: the Klingle Road issue.
I believe Klingle Dingleberries are now referred to as Klingleberries, which American Heritage dictionary recently defined as "a dingleberry resulting from execution of the Kobayashi Alternative maneuveur in intergalactic warfare."
As for Ents--I have been warning that Ent unrest should be the REAL focus of policy efforts to reduce greenhouse gas emissions for years. Now that Klingle Road will be populated with belching and farting cheese-loving inebriates, well, I guess things will only deteriorate.
The Graham desire to re-open Klingle Road has just been officially killed by the Council.
Ents and freedom-loving Klinglons rejoice.
Time to revive the riverboat gambling initiative of 1998, Klingle Road style.
I say we flood Rock Creek and fill it with casino paddle boats, strippers, and $5.99 all-you-can-eat buffet. And then we start making Uruk Hai.
Eisengard Casino on Klingle: Loosest craps in town!
Klingle needs to stay closed. The city needs to have hearings to close it and settle it once and for all. Who doesnt want more green space with hiking and biking options? The only people who want it reopened are people who want another way to cross the city and by some people who live on Porter to lessen the traffic on Porter. I live on the corner of Conn. and Porter and I see no way it will reduce the traffic on Porter. I agree it should be closed the right way with closure hearings and not in a backroom deal. Plus it was only allocated $2 million dollars to fix, that aint nearly enough to fix the problems that area has. And to those who were asking what happens to it, it is transfered to the properties surronding the valley...I think, dont hold me to that.
The least they could do is set up a couple of half pipes and move the National Theater skate rats to Klingle.
Release a couple of black bears while they're at it.
i swear to god, if the DPW isn't listening in on this, they are missing the best free consulting in the history of governance...
Particularly that "klingleberry" bit. Speaking of which, with the weather heating up, isn't it about time WASA started issuing more "excessive turbidity" warnings (read: "tiny balls of s**t in the drinking supply)?
Fuckin' Skinner... I was wondering when his name would finally surface in some shady dealings with the District government. His connection to Fenty could very well lead to the mayor's eventual downfall, but the many who blindly supported Fenty would sooner anoint Skinner's balls with fragrant oils than say a bad word about the man, simply because he is one of Fenty's closest cronies.
i must admit, i do have fond memories of finding the 'grahamzilla' postcards when i lived at 13th and U.
i miss soldierette! on the u street listserv....is she still ranting and raving there?
Goph - Why yes, yes she is.
You also need an extra exclamation point in her name. Y'know, for enthusiasm.
How about converting Klingle Valley into a paintball arena? Trebuchets filled with paintbombs are not allowed.
The Society for Creative Anachronism would be all over Klingle Road for medieval siege re-enactments. And the extensive use of historically accurate "manure petards" would only improve the quality of the area's ecosystem. Certainly there's no shortage of vermin for use as ammunition in the "rat-apults?"
I'm looking at you, Jumbo Slice.