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May 16, 2008

Overheard in D.C.: Tore Up

baseballAwhile ago, we mentioned the crazy story of two guys who snuck all over Nationals Park during the team's opener game — the dugout, press box, locker room, luxury suites etc. And thanks to two drunk guys on the Metro, we think we know how it happened, straight from the Mixed Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler.


Overheard of the Week

On the Orange Line Metro to Vienna:

Guy 1: "Man, i can't believe they kicked us out."
Guy 2: "Yeah, I mean, just because they were turning off the lights in the stadium."
Guy 1: "And started pulling out the rain tarp."
Guy 2: "Next time, we should hide in the restrooms and then we can run around on the field when everyone is gone."
Guy 1: "That would be awesome. And totally illegal."


After the jump, new Metro ads, free website snobs, and big boobies.

Have we mentioned the Overheard in DC email address? No? It's overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com

Photo by mosley.brian

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This should be a Metro ad against sandals

At the L'Enfant Plaza Metro:

Two teenage boys see a thrashed woman's sandal stuck in the escalator.

Youth 1: "Ahh, she got tore up... from the floor up."
Youth 2: (high five)

------

I remember back when this free website that anyone can join was exclusive!

At the Cathedral light show on Saturday:

A 30-something female has a camera and tripod. While looking at all the other people with tripods and digital SLRs, she says with disgust, "Anybody can get a Flickr account nowadays!"

------

So did John Lannan.

At the May 10 Nats game against the Marlins:

Three prepubescent boys are at the game. One yells after the Nats' only hit and his voice cracks.
"Hey, I just hit puberty. Cool."

------

Uhh

On the Metro between New York and Rhode Island Ave stations:

Girl: "He likes my BIG 'ol boobies."
Guy: "Isn't he gay?"
Girl: "Yeah, but he still likes my BIG boobies. He's bi."
Guy: "Guys can't be bi! That's only girls."
Girl: "Well he still likes my big boobies"

------

People go to the Clarendon Ballroom to meet smart people?

At the Clarendon Ballroom on a Tuesday night:

30-something guy to his friends: "She looks okay, but I'm not sure about her intellect."

------

It's extra credit for phys ed, honest.

On the H3 bus heading in the direction of Wilson High:

Two girls, already late for school had the following conversation:

Girl 1: "Go to the gym with me."
Girl 2: "Why do you want to go to the gym?"
Girl 1: "Cause I don't want to go to school."
Girl 2: "I already missed Monday and Tuesday, plus we are off school tomorrow."
Girl 1: "YES!!!! It's like it's Friday! You just made my day. Seriously, you made my day. Let's go work out."

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Not the first thing that comes to mind when watching light shows at a cathedral.

At the Cathedral light show on Saturday:

One guy talking to another guy: "No, don't worry. I won't teabag you."

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We hope it was a Miley Cyrus lunchbox.

At Target:

Skinny-jean wearing emo teen #1: "So, should I buy this?"
Skinny-jean wearing emo teen #2: "Yeah, because you need to not cut yourself."

------

I predict certain commenters will respond to this.

At the DC101 Chili Cookoff:

A skanky girl talking to the guy with her: "The lines to the port-o-potty are really long, and I really have to pee. Can I just pee in your mouth?"

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Comments (11) [rss]

Love the E.L. Konigsburg reference!

 

Nice try, but I'm not going to comment on the chili cookoff girl with the small bladder. I got standards.

 

I'm guessing that guy at the chili cookoff didn't do the gentlemanly thing and punch her in the head?

 

quality.

 

Glad I live in the burbs.

 

I could sadly see that as a metro ad with an image of a bloody sandal or something shocking.

@Fluxgirl:
The "overheard in the burbs" would probably be filled with unbelievable stupid. I'll stick to overheard in DC :D.

 

I like that this is the youth edition.

 
The "overheard in the burbs" would probably be filled with unbelievable stupid.

Well said, slashedzero.

 

the burbs is the SUX00rs!!!111LOLTWFBBQ

 

wow. it sounds like latenightshots did overheard this week.

 

Woohoo! Two overheards in on my first time submitting!

And sadly, I didn't stick around after the Chili Cookoff comment. My gf and I looked at each other to make sure we both heard the same thing, and then got the hell out of there. I'd have done the guy a favor and punched both of them, but I didn't want to get kicked out before Live did their set.

~EEE~

 
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