DCist: No 'Rapture' Allowed on Metro?

monkeyrotica

Fri, 30 May 2008 20:08:25 -0500

And WTF happens with your Metro ticket? I mean, is there a turnstile in Heaven to register your exit? Or can you just pretend to be drunk and tell Saint Peter, "Dude, I totally lost my ticket. You gotta let me out, man! C'mon, be cool, man! You're wearing a dress and everything."

dcguy20001

Fri, 30 May 2008 18:01:41 -0500

Can you still ascend during the rapture if your train is underground or do I have to start walking everywhere for the end is near...

Xtena

Fri, 30 May 2008 11:05:33 -0500

could someone please add to the car a 'no defacating' logo?

monkeyrotica

Fri, 30 May 2008 09:46:13 -0500

Mamma mia! 'Atsa some spicy cockblocking!

Michael Femia

Fri, 30 May 2008 09:21:39 -0500

One of the best T-shirts I've ever seen: The Rapture Was Yesterday Guess You Didn't Make The Cut

300_sq_ft

Thu, 29 May 2008 20:59:47 -0500

Man, good thing I'm gay and don't have to worry about all this rapture mumbo-jumbo. Although, if monkey is offering a nustsack womp, count me in . . .

Bill

Thu, 29 May 2008 20:49:24 -0500

I take it we're ending all our sentences with ellipses...

IMGoph

Thu, 29 May 2008 17:12:04 -0500

8th street: i could imagin it if i knew what you were trying to say...

8th Street

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:38:27 -0500

Can you imagin raptuer on the green line....

monkeyrotica

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:34:02 -0500

Kinda looks like the guy's getting his nutsack womped on the big red bar, so maybe it is the Safety Dance.

Wizzyliz

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:24:39 -0500

What about Exuberance? Does Metro have anything against my being exuberant?

monkeyrotica

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:14:42 -0500

Yup. That's all I want to see downtown: morbidly obese tourists rockin hernia trusses. I love the surgical garment. Enjoy the delights of the Victor Mature abdominal corset! Sail down the Nile on the Bleed-it Kosher Truss! And don't forget the Hercules Hold-'em-in: the all-purpose concrete truss for the man with the family hernia!

Bethesdaist

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:14:00 -0500

That sillhouete looks more "Safety Dance" than Rapture to me.

IntangibleArts

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:08:39 -0500

Maybe it was a typo I saw somewhere, but I've been carrying my camera everywhere for years, waiting for all the Jesus people to get RUPTURED simultaneously. That would've made for great photobloggin' i tell you what.

flapjack

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:08:29 -0500

You might get torn through the steel and concrete of the tunnel but if you're lucky the driver will have already opened the doors for you so you won't have to worry about getting dragged through the car itself.

Crosstown Traffic

Thu, 29 May 2008 15:03:57 -0500

And, in Timmy's case, crack smoking.

TimmyTucker

Thu, 29 May 2008 14:47:43 -0500

I think Metro is actually the perfect place for a rapture. After all, they are both modes of heavenly transportation!

monkeyrotica

Thu, 29 May 2008 14:47:13 -0500

Man, the Rapture would definitely suck if you were stuck in the Red Line tunnel. Imagine all that steel and concrete you'd have to get torn through to get to Heaven. Still, it'll be worth it to see all the Raptured Christians freak out when they discover that Jesus actually has noodles for arms. FYI, Rapture is always a great line when you've swiped food. "Hey! What happened to the last of the donuts?" [shrugging and wiping mouth] "Raptured."