May 30, 2008
Overheard in D.C.: Grocery Greatness
Grocery stores in D.C. — there's a lot to say about them, and not much of it is good. Um, they're open sometimes. You can usually purchase items there. That's good, right? Aside from that, D.C. supermarkets are best known for having poor selection, long lines, a questionable level of cleanliness, unhelpful staff, crazy customers, and on and on. Today's overheard comes from a grocery store PA announcement.
They ought to bring Friendliness also.
Overheard of the Week
At the Safeway in Southeast:
A clerk makes an announcement over the PA speakers:
"Honesty to customer service. Honesty, please come to customer service."
After the jump, more grocery shenanigans, cursing at mom, and enunciation.
There's been a lot of good stuff coming in, so keep it up! overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com
Photo by sandcastlematt
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George W. Bush is really trying to expand his cabinet.
Walking down 18th Street, around 3:15 a.m. Sunday morning:
Girl talking to mohawked probable boyfriend:
“I don’t understand why you can’t enunciate and say library instead of liberry!”
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P.S. Thanks for tuition.
At a graduation party at a U Street-area apartment:
The host drunkenly dropped a knife on his foot, making a rather deep cut, and called his parents to ask about what to do. They didn't answer, so he left a voicemail:
Host: "Mom, Dad, I think I need stitches so it would REEEEAAALLY help if you could answer the FUCKING phone--"
Host's fiancee: "Honey, you can't say "fuck" to your parents!"
Host: [to fiancee, but still speaking into the phone] "I can't say FUCK to my mom over the phone? AWW FUCK!"
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Until I get my bad-ass '85 Chevy Citation fixed up.
Outside Chief Ike's Friday night:
A pimped-out car with hydraulics rolls by on its side, everyone looks and stares.
Drunk Girl: "That's lame, my Prius is better."
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We already knew.
A few weeks ago at the Pentagon City mall:
A slow-walking tourist says to his wife, "You better speed up, honey, or they'll know you're from Indiana!"
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Hm.
Outside Marvin a few nights ago:
Two mid 20s guys leaving.
Guy 1: "I mean, so what if I passed around [girl's] naked pictures, I’m still a moral person."
Guy 2: "What kind of moral person?"
Guy 1: "Amoral."
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Remote control planes, however, no problem.
On a Chicago to D.C. flight:
A small boy, about five, to his father as the boy reads the safety instruction card on the plane:
"Look Daddy, they say 'No remote controlled cars on the airplane.'"
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Your weekly Columbia Heights Giant happy time.
On Wednesday:
Two women are arguing in line. The argument gets more and more loud until:
Woman 1: "Can you hear this, bitch?" [woman holds up middle finger]
Woman 2: "You can suck my dick!"
Woman 1: [regretfully] "Mom!?"
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Sorry about that last overheard. Sometimes my mom can get a bit carried away. Heh-ha.
No honesty in DC grocery stores customer service? Not surprised. Rarely do I shop at a Giant or Safeway in DC, but when I'm forced to do so - I usually say "good-bye God, I'm going to Giant."
That Giant in Columbia Heights is sooooo ghetto.
If you think you need stiches then go get stitches, try not to call Mommy and Daddy and sound like a bitch...just get er done.
By the time I graduated from college (a VA state school - gasp!) I definitely knew what to do if I dropped a knife on my foot.
What do they teach in college these days?
you'd be surprised how many people are completely dependent on their parents to do everything for them... my boyfriend (22) is that way. drives me absolutely nuts, he literally doesn't know how to do anything in the home -- from laundry, to cleaning, to simply cracking an egg open. He also wouldn't have enough sense to go get stitches if he knew he needed them -- not until his parents told him to at least.
jtmeyer - Which kinda forces the question, "why are you still with this helpless clown?"
And does the answer rhyme with "Hugh G. Rection?"
@ Monkey--I won't lay this directly at the feet of jt, but around here that answer usually rhymes with "trust fund."
is that safeway the one on the hill, or is it across the river?
When I stabbed myself in the leg with scissors I immediately knew what to do - look in the wound to see what I could see (white fat that looked like cottage cheese! freaky!) and then apply pressure before getting myself to the hospital.* A couple stitches later and I was good as new.
*Just a little FYI, stabbing yourself will result in questions about your mental stability. It's better to admit you're a dumbass and move on.
thanks flapjack, i think i'm not going to be hungry for the rest of the day...
HOOSIERS CAN'T DRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm glad that guy recognizes that fact. smartest hoosier alive!
any time IMGoph
Try looking at a bone sticking out of the skin. You can go on a week without an appetite.
Big Ups, Big L. That ungrateful bastaerd.
The guy who needed stitches reminds me of tourettes guy