What's That You Say?
G'day, fair commentariat. It's once again time to scan the DCist universe for the best of your contributions from the past week.
There are some of us who, every once in a while, come up with something witty to share with the world, and can be happy with that. But just like any other creative endeavor, there are those of us who strive to take commenting to another strata of aesthetic glory. And even though voteprime already won our Comment of the Week a couple of weeks ago with a painfully heartfelt letter about Metro delays, he's back at it again, this time with the story of the minor leagues of free newspaper distribution:
Does anyone else come in or out of the Dupont North metro entrance in the mornings? I think that metro stop is a AAA franchise for a free newspaper distribution farm team. Dupont Circle north is one step away from the rush hour big leagues (maybe Farragut North or Metro Center). The paper people start at the smaller stops and as they get some attention and prove their stuff, they move up to busier stops.
I've seen a few Express guys come and go, they definitely had what it took to get those papers into rushed hands, all with a smile on their face. And the last Examiner lady definitely was a bit gruff looking, but she had "it."
This new Examiner woman though, I hardly notice her until I almost bump into her. She's not giving any papers out like that, especially for the second-rate free paper (do they even have Sudoku or a gossip section?).
Anyway, anyone else see this happening? It provides me with a small amount of entertainment as I make my way to the escalator every morning. But I will be sad to see the Examiner guy move on to The Show eventually. I've gotten used to hearing his distinct "Free Express" and "g'morning" shouts.
We salute you voteprime, for your dedication to providing completely random, yet insightful comments on a regular basis.
After the jump, earthquakes and bicycles. Additionally, we break down the different style guides of New York publications. Fascinating, no?
Photo by sally henny penny.
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Sneezing, warring Morlock and C.H.U.D. factions, Taco Bell. Whatever it was, it certainly wasn't typical - where were you for the The Great Quake of '08?
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Alright, so we're finally making some progress towards a more bike-friendly urbana. Unfortunately though, it appears as if we could use some clarity on bicycling etiquette, as Joclyn points out:
I am constantly appalled at the number of bicyclists riding on the sidewalk in DC, dowtown, clean, filthy, whatever. I don't think riding a bicycle on a sidewalk past the age of 9 should be acceptable. I've actually been cursed at in Columbia Heights for walking my dog... "Didn't you effing see me coming?"
Yeah, and I was frozen in disbelief that you were pedaling full speed on a sidewalk, as though you were a child just free of his training wheels.
I guess we could allow bicyclists full reign of the sidewalks, along with motor vehicles, and open up the streets to pedestrians and people just learning to ride bikes.
Additionally, treatises on "catching an orange light" and it's legality, as well as the equality of law-abiding by cyclists and motorists alike - are in production as we speak. Also, one about how no one likes cabs.
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Stuff D.C. residents like: scathing commentaries on the style guides of large American publications. For instance, Reid:
If you think the "Mr." and "Mrs." label is annoying, take a look at the New Yorker. They put freakin umlauts on the word "reelect". Thanks New Yorker, without that fancy umlaut I would have gone around wondering why all these candidates wanted to be "re-lected", when getting lected once would seem to be enough.
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Game, set, and match, Coburn, courtesy of desaparecido:
If there's one thing that would help fix some of Metro's problems, it's definitely less money to fix those problems.
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This post involved Marion Berry and open wine bottles. And a good idea resulted (no, really). In fact, it was so well liked, that we started painting broad strokes about the state of District dining options. Weird thread, guys. Can we get back to the panda porn and the hate?
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Can someone please buy ces12 some slip-ons or something?
i've accidentally stepped on broken glass while wearing flipflops at several bars in the area and ended up pretty bloody.
Because I was too drunk to realize it, I also bled on my white sheets at home. doh.
i almost never wear flops to the bars anymore.
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Department of usual complaints roundup: taxi meters, Office of Tax and Revenue screwups, Roy Pearson's idiocy.
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TimmyTucker's got the real genius behind the establishment of an anonymous text-message crime reporting system:
This will probably lead to some hilarious drunken texts on the weekends as wasted bar-hoppers text in tips about the asshole who just cut them in line at Jumbo Slice. I'm waiting for MPD to release their monthly answer to "Best of Craigslist"
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What's That You Say? HQ is located firmly in the vicinity of Comet's now-ping-pong-less front doors. And while we aren't encouraging jamie's protest, we're certainly not discouraging it.
Starting tomorrow, I will be broadcasting the audio track from Balls of Fury at 85 decibels outside Winstead's house from 6 AM until 9 AM.
Until that is no longer legal, anyway.
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Every now and then, monkeyrotica comes up with an idea that's pretty good, but which is then often buried by references to The Simpsons and odd sexual tendencies. Well, we think we should start highlighting these nuggets of wisdom in a little series we'll call The Magical World of Monkeyrotica.
This week's episode: potential D.C. quarter designs.
They should really consider punching a hole in DC's coin like the Canadians do. Not only would it help save the Treasury on raw materials, but the hole is a perfect tabula rase for people to read things into. Perhaps it stands for DC's lack of voting representation. Or their lack of Second Amendment rights. Or maybe, like Sacramento, there's no "there" there in DC.
And it would make for a great Pentagon/Hirshorn/goatse mashup.
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Guys, we're so close to getting a zombie John Bonham to be able to play that wicked drum fill from "Misty Mountain Hop" without his arms detaching. Keep the faith - Greenland, here we come!
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Award time!
This week's Avatar Award for Achievement in the Field of Avatars goes to teddy, whose postcard-like avatar with two relaxed people, putting their feet up on a patio while overlooking beautiful mountains kinda makes us sick on a Monday morning, in that "I desperately need a vacation" way. Thanks!
And this week's Username of the Week is none other than realidealist. Do enjoy the large grand prize cash award that really (ideally) exists.