June 3, 2008
Morning Roundup: Fevers and Fireworks Edition
Good morning, Washington. Turns out it's hard out there for an aging U.S. senator. First Ted Kennedy and now Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W. Va.), the longest-serving member of the Senate (Kennedy is the second-longest) has been hospitalized for the third time in as many months. It turned out Byrd had a fever, which is pretty serious business when you're 90 years old. But the early AP story cited his symptoms as having exhibited "lethargy and sluggishness" while at work, which of course prompted everyone at DCist HQ to wonder whether we ought to head down to the hospital straight away ourselves. In all seriousness, we wish Sen. Byrd a speedy recovery.
D.C. Social Workers Remove More Kids: The Post does a nice job following up on the D.C. Child and Family Services Agency nearly six months after the discovery of the murdered daughters of Banita Jacks. Turns out that after the social workers who were assigned to the Jacks case were fired, the agency shows a 20 percent increase in child removals in three of the first four months this year. The story cites several child advocates who say there has also been a sharp increase in cases that were quickly thrown out by judges during the same time period, suggesting that many of these children should not have been removed. Agency director Sharlynn Bobo told the paper that her staff may have become more conservative since the Jacks case, but that they are not just randomly removing children.
Fireworks Ban Unlikely to Pass: The D.C. Council is in session today, and one of the bills they're expected to hear is the emergency legislation that would ban the sale and use of fireworks in the city. When we unscientifically asked our readers whether you were for or against the ban, a whopping 78 percent of you were opposed to it. The Examiner reports that most of the Council agrees with you, and that the emergency measure appears unlikely to pass today. Ward 2 Council member Jack Evans has even taken to calling it the “Anti-fun bill."
Briefly Noted: D.C. Police union faces off against Lanier ... D.C. and Maryland challenge electricity rates in Mid-Atlantic region ... A Blue line train somehow ended up with 12 rail cars on it on Sunday.
Photo by PhotoFlashFocusRecord
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i wonder if Jack Evans would also describe bills that banned panda sodomy, rock throwing, and intern wedgies as "anti-fun". it's all fun and games until your panda butt hurts, your head has a rock lodged in it, and your underwear has damaged your private parts....or your building gets set on fire by a kid with a roman candle.
Well, nice of Evans to finally call Graham the fun police.
I was expecting Jack Evans to say that it was a first amendment issue.
this just guarantees that either someone will get killed or a house will burn down because of fireworks this year, which will lead to a wailing and gnashing of teeth so loud that everyone in the city will be guilty of breaking the law with respect to the noise ban that will probably pass today.
thus bringing us to a level of meta-craziness in the city that will cause the district to collapse upon itself, leaving a black hole that will slowly suck in all matter in the known universe in its wake.
jack evans, destroyer of worlds. kinda has a nice ring to it, don't you think?
Awesome. I can look forward to another year of kids trying to throw lit fireworks into my car as I drive down the street. Fantastic.
12 car Metro trains....wave of the future!
IMGoph: I like the image of Jack Evans as Shiva.
HELL-ooo, it's not time to start up the fireworks debate in comments again. That always gets long and boring, and breaks down into two groups:
1. Those who were somehow scarred by fireworks (perhaps inappropriate old men and some bottle rockets), and have a very primal fear of fire, i.e. do not want their block to burn down.
2. Those who think that DC without fireworks is like Pamplona without running bulls. Sure they are both dangerous as hell, but considering only a few people/houses get trashed each year, it is more than worth it for the fun of it all. Fireworks are DC's single item of interest and anyone who says otherwise should move to Virginia, which is for lovers- of no fireworks.
The solution is obviously: 1) those freakish geeks who are afraid of fireworks, just stay inside from May – Sept., barricade the windows, put in some earplugs, grab a fire extinguisher and try to push out the bad memories from your obviously trauma filled childhood. 2) For those who like them, continue to explode things at all costs, and go to jail if need be. It would be a badge of honor to spend a night in DC jail for a grocery bag full of contraband roman candles, you will go in a fledgling-pyro, come out a sodomized-felon with the urge to really blow things up.
FYI, in PA you can buy pretty much any firework you want, as long as you buy at least $50 worth and "promise" to take them out of the state.
Happy Hunting!
Hed fer the hills!
If anyone is interested, I'll be putting on a fireworks display tonight in celebration of Metro's expansion to 12-car trains.
you can ban them, make them illegal, take them out of the country - we are still going to find them and set them off
and someone tell me why the fireworks show at the school on 13th street is still going on? is no one concerned that thats a small space and that pretty much every year they set a tree or human on fire?