June 20, 2008
Overheard in D.C.: Passive Aggression
Seems like the hot weather has brought out the awkwardness and passive aggressiveness in people. Then again, this is D.C., so those characteristics are never hard to find. But it's still fun to hear people putting their feet in their mouths more than usual, for our amusement.
Overheard of the Week:
At the Columbia Heights Target:
A 20-something couple are in the closet and storage section. She points to some hideaway bins.
Woman, sweetly and pointedly: "You could put all of your T-shirts in these."
Man, equally as sweet and pointed: "Or you could put all of your fucking winter clothes in them."
After the jump, stupid jokes, more awkward situations, and fashion terms that got invented quickly.
Keep the overheards flowing: overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com
Photo by johnnygreengrass
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Uhhh
Tuesday at the Adele concert at the Sixth & I Historic Synagogue:
A middle-aged woman is trying to squeeze her way down a pew and tells a 20-something male it's easier to get by if he sits down.
"I don't mind touching your knees. I just don't want to rub up against your whole body. What a thrill for you!"
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Permission to come aboard!
Outside at the city dock in Annapolis:
Female Naval Academy Student: "And when I woke up this morning, I still had the teeth marks on my forehead!"
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I prefer to dress like James Traficant. Before jail.
At the Barney's Co-op in Georgetown:
A a guy and a girl are looking at clothes.
The guy points to a dress on the rack: "That dress is so Michelle Obama!"
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That went well.
9:30 Friday night, walking down U St.
20-something white kid wearing an "Africa in Action" T-shirt goes to hand two styrofoam leftover containers to 30-something black guy sitting down on curb.
Kid: "Would you like some food?"
Guy: "I'm not homeless man, I'm just waiting for the bus"
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Too soon or not, it's still a stupid joke.
The 1700 block of Kenyon Street in Mt. Pleasant:
A shirtless 20-something is on a front porch laden with light beer cans, talking loudly on cell-phone:
“Yeah, I’m going with some broad from work to the convention. I can’t be there for the last night when McCain gives his speech, it’s the same night as the Redskins season opener. The seats are bin Laden.”
Pause as he listens to person on the other end.
“Yeah man, they’re killer seats.”
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Taxes are for suckers
Sunday morning, outside the Starbucks at 13th and U:
An older, seemingly-homeless man clutching multiple full, black trash bags is speaking with two cops:
Cop #1: "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Man: "I don't need this type of harassment. I'm a taxpayer and my taxes pay your salaries!"
Cop #2: "Taxes? What taxes do you pay?"
Man: "Well... I used to pay taxes."
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Good to see 13th and U still keepin it ghetto. Take that, Creme hiptards!
And I thought "bin Laden" meant "to disappear," as in, "When it came time to pay the bar tab, Fritz totally bin Laden-ed."
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wig shop in Old Town!
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Is it just me, or does that mannequin look like he's silently plotting to kill us all?
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Well, he's not silent to me. I've heard every word he's said.
Or was it actually the skullf***ing brain parasite disguised as a toupee?
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Rejected! No play for Mr. Gray!
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I suppose I couldn't blame him for wanting to go on a killing spree...the poor dude has two different-colored eyebrows.
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Well, thank goodness it's a mannequin and not a lawyer. Oh wait, what if the mannequin is a lawyer? Someone tell him, we have to help him! Think of the children!
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Actually, I think bin laden means something the Republicans pretend doesn't exist, except when it's politically convenient. Examples: the lower 9th ward, global warming, the authority of the Supreme Court, etc.
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Caption: "Mannekin Pis-sed"
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Mannequin looks like a woman who touched Propecia. Don't say the ads didn't warn women not to touch, say or even think about Propecia.
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now y'all all know the thoughts that run through my head when i walk by those wig shops EVERY DAY.
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Honestly, that's the scariest friggin thing since that animatronic cobbler in the shoe repair store window. Those things give me the heebiejeebies, staring at you with those dead eyes, grinning, hammering away. It's like something out of a Scientology screening or an Amway seminar.
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That beards got a funky Captain Ahab vibe goin on. He's all like, "From Hell's heart I stab at thee! Oh, snap! I ain't got not f***in body! Pip? Queequeg? Tashtego? Little help?"
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Is that the young Barbara Bush behind scary beard manniquin? Add some pop it pearls as a wattle disguise, and it would be a dead ringer!
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Bin laden: The dope S***; As in "Got that Bin Laden right chere right chere". See THE WIRE, Seasons 2 & 3.
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Wattle is an awesome word. Wattle, wattle, wattle.
Wow, I really need to go home.
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those wig shops
And there's more than one. That's what always gets me. Why does Old Town Alexandria need more than one wig shop?
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great now someone has to start lolmannequins, icanhasgoodwig?
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i have a theory that they're fronts for a lottery or drug ring.
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and they're on the same block! seriously something illegal must be going on.
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I hear from a completely unreliable source that they're mafia fronts.
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has anybody checked the zoning? i guess there's nothing as specific as commercial zone: only-faux-hair-for-the-real-hair-challenged?
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@honk and i will...: Good reference. "Got them WMDs"