June 27, 2008
Overheard in D.C.: Everybody Gets Dissed
D.C. is a city of archetypes. There's the Hill staffer, the bigshot douchebag, the crackhead, the intern, the yuppie, the tourist. They all came together this week in a melange of stereotypes and stupidity. But not before discovering the newest trend: coming soon to a hip desk near you: vintage office supplies.
Overheard of the Week:
Three State Department interns at McDonalds during lunch rush:
Girl 1: "So I'm supposed to go through her Rolodex after lunch and add all them into Outlook."
Girl 2: "What's a Rolodex?"
Girl 3: "It's this round thing that has a bunch of cards and you put people's contact information. My grandma uses one still."
Girl 2: "Wow! I never heard of that, I totally want one!"
After the jump, counting, getting naked, dumb tourist girls, and polite angry bikers.
Keep sending those Overheards in! overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com
Photo by terecico
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Sesame Street 2: Electric Boogaloo
In front of Bloomingdale Liquors on 1st and Rhode Island on Monday when the double rainbow appeared:
One man on a corner shouting to another: "Look at that. Two! Two motherfucking rainbows!"
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No, dummy, it's where Forrest Gump freed the slaves
On the steps of the Lincoln Memorial a couple of Saturdays ago:
Teenage girl: "Hey, look everybody! Here's where Martin Luther King gave his Million Man speech!"
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Also tell mom I'm going on vacation for 5-10 years.
Outside the Navy Yard Metro before a Nats Game:
Guy on a cell phone, dressed in a suit: "Yeah, so I was standing in the hallway and I saw Clinton, Sen. Webb..." and goes on to name more Senators.
He then pauses and says, "yeah, so tell mom I saw Hilary Clinton and I punched her in the face."
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Extreme! Politeness!
At Q St and New Hampshire NW:
A car veers past a bicyclist in the bike lane, nearly grazing him.
Biker, shaking fist: "You are a menace to society!"
Woman walking nearby, to her elderly mother: "I think that's the nicest insult I've heard yelled in this city."
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Suddenly, Build-a-Bear Workshop runs out of mustaches
At Monday night's Gay Day at the Nationals game:
In the bleacher section with the other gays and lesbians, most of whom bought ticket's at last week's Pride festival.
A couple men notice an attractive and fit man with a goatee, a few rows in front of them:
"Ooh, let's go back downstairs and build a bear like him."
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Try the Vice Presidential ward of GW Hospital
Sine' Irish Pub, Pentagon Row, last Thursday:
A table of people are discussing dating and love lives, or lack thereof.
30-something guy: "So, have you met anyone new?"
30-something girl: "I just got rid of the heart rate monitor on Tuesday. How am I supposed to meet someone with a heart monitor?"
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Ah, kickball
Monday night at Kelly's Irish Times:
Female kickballer to male kickballer: "I've decided not to take my clothes off at the bar anymore."
Male kickballer: "Oh really, why?
Female kickballer: "Because no one wants to marry the slut."
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Your weekly intern moment of Zen
On a Red line train around Metro Center, 8 p.m. on Thursday:
Two young women, likely interns:
Girl 1: "I wish I were a gynecologist."
Girl 2: "Why?"
Girl 1: "'Cause I want to talk about sex."
A minute later...
Girl 2: "I used to want to be a dentist 'cause, like, I really care about teeth."
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I'm confused. Who did the guy punch in the face? Hillary Clinton or his mom?
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Douchebag in a suit is the one who needs a good punching.
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someone should punch him AND his mom in the face, not because they don't like Hillary Clinton, but because he's a douchebag and she raised him.
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Why do people my age (early 20s) insist on being so aggressively stupid?
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I love them motherf'in rainbows.
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Because unfortunately most people our age ARE stupid.
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The bike quote one could only be more awesome if the cyclist had finished with "good day to you sir - I said GOOD DAY!" I am inspired to make all of my insults civilized (for this weekend, at least.)
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Stink-eye through the old monocle always works for me. In fact, any insult is improved when the insulter is dressed like Mr. Peanut.
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Most people are stupid.. older people are just better at keeping quiet about it.
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I'm completely out of the closet when it comes to my stupidity.
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After the jump, counting, getting naked, dumb tourist girls, and polite angry bikers.
With a drink in me I see naked dumb tourist girls. I want to see naked dumb tourist girls...
They can stand on the left side of the escalator all day long.
See I let my stupidity hang all out.
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I once wanted to be a dentist too. But I hate flossing and being a hypocrite.
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No, older people aren't quiet about their stupidity. Tell that to the loud batfart at the grocery store buying crap with pennies or taking forever to write a check. The problem is that young people aren't comfortable with their own stupidity. They try and seem smart, which only emphasizes their stupidity, like lime green stretchpants on a 275 lb woman. People just need to accept their own stupidity and get past it. Pull down your pants and ROLL in your stupidity.
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@monkeyrotica
Amen!
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monkey - that lime green stretchpants woman works in my office! sometimes she classes up the look with an hawaiian print shirt and a feather boa. just don't get her started talking about her kittehs because you'll never get away...
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"In fact, any insult is improved when the insulter is dressed like Mr. Peanut."
What, wearing nothing but a tophat, spats, monocle, and cane?
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I've just realized that 1.) I work with flapjack, and 2.) he doesn't like my lime green pants and he's jealous of my boa.
I'm going to poop in your cubicle, hater.
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Don't forget the bloody axe.
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bethesdaist: i can guess with almost certainty that you don't work with flapjack. you just gave it away with your reply. that, and i'm sure there's no jealousy there...only fear.
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it's my own fault for using my male dog's name but bethesdaist I am indeed a woman. shocking but true.
And I am more afraid than jealous, although I think adding a boa to my wardrobe could only improve my look.
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So long as it's a lime green boa.
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FINE HATE ON AN OLD WOMAN FOR HAVING BAD EYESIGHT AND NOT KNOWING BOYS FROM GIRLS. With your new wave haircuts and your pantsuit dungarees - who the hell can tell anyway?
I am so pooping in all of your cubicles. All of them. You will know me by my marabou, bitches.
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Silly gay Nats fans, it's not that kind of bear!
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my god this is hysterical and a very good depiction of dc's finest